Cross-gender PCs

[Hella_Tellah]

As mentioned up-thread, my players cross genders with their characters and do so with pretty decent verisimilitude. That doesn't mean it's easy, though, and I think Jeff's comment on the rarity of finding gamers capable of roleplaying in that way deserves a fair shake.

Gender is a very deeply ingrained part of our culture. When acting out a role, casting off the most deeply ingrained parts of ourselves is the most challenging part, and few things affect us to the extent that our gender does. When we add in the problem of portraying another gender, in another time period, perhaps of another species, from an exotic location--those challenges come together in a way that can outclass even the most seasoned roleplayer. I doubt Robert DeNiro himself could play a female elven rogue from Waterdeep in a truly believable fashion. And I don't think anyone needs to be ashamed that watching another roleplayer's shortcomings at playing a character doesn't constitute a fun evening for them.

There's also a significant "ick" factor for many people. No matter how comfortable I am in the Queer community, being hit on by an unattractive man doesn't make for a fun evening for me, either. It doesn't make me a homophobe any more than a woman who dislikes being hit on by unattractive men is a man-hater. Being approached romantically or sexually by someone in whom you are not interested is uncomfortable, and if your games go those places, be prepared to have your comfort zone tested. If you don't want your games to have that possibility open, it doesn't make you a bad player, or a homophobe, or anything of the sort. Focus on running and playing in the games you enjoy; we don't all game to have our limits tested.

I game, in part, to test my limits as a storyteller and actor, so gender roles, sexuality, and other themes come up. But far be it for me or anyone else to say your games have to do the same.

 

[brunswick]

I've never had a problem with this. One of my players had a fondness for playing female characters on occasion and one of my DMs had a rule (for reasons that I personally dont understand) that males cant play female characters and vice versa. Generally play a male PC (I am male) but sometimes play a female for a change of pace or as a "one off" at a Convention game. There has been moments in some games I have played in that the female character (when played by me, as DM, or by another male player) has had untowards comments made to her, but thankfully these events happened many years ago. I havent had a problem with these sort of issues in quite a while!

 

[Mercule]

I'm always stunned when this thread topic comes up on the Enworld.

In every game I've ever played there has been cross-gender player or more at the table. It's never been a problem.

Encountering so many posters with the same gender rule always leaves me scratching my head.

I don't have a problem with the idea, in theory. There are plenty of great story reasons for it.

In practice, however, my experience was that players who wanted to gender-bend weren't usually interested in the story reasons. They were significantly more likely to be misogynistic and emotionally stunted. After the tenth (or so) slutty drow lesbian dominatrix with a whip, I just decided I wasn't going to bother anymore.

It's probably been a decade since I've even mentioned the rule, and I'd probably at least consider allowing it now. Still, for the gamers I seemed to run into during high school and college (not all of them, but one in any group, it seemed), it was a very good table rule.

 

[Agamon]

Question: do people not allow the DM to play female NPCs for the same reasons they don't allow players to play female PCs? If not, what makes a DM able to portray females more believably and more maturely than players?

I ask this as both a DM and a player.

 

[Crothian]

Question: do people not allow the DM to play female NPCs for the same reasons they don't allow players to play female PCs? If not, what makes a DM able to portray females more believably and more maturely than players?

I ask this as both a DM and a player.

A few people have brought up this point. There is a big difference between a DM and a PC and what a DM is able to do and a PC is able to do. I don't let my players play Dragons, but as a DM I do play the role of the NPC dragons. In the current campaign none of the PCs are allowed to play spellcasters, but as DM I am allowed to have NPC spellcasters. That one is for campaign reasons, but in either instance I don't think anyone would have a problem with it.

So, just because a DM gets to NPC cross gender has no bearings on if a PC should be able to. For the record though I've seen plenty of DMs who were pretty bad at cross gender NPCs, too. At least with the NPCs you know it's not going to be there every week for as long as the campaign is. With a PC that is not the case.

 

[ProfessorCirno]

I'm far more likely to have a humans only game then I am a males only game.

Also, I'm seeing two big things here. The first is "When they play a woman, they aren't feminine enough." The second is "When they play a woman, it's too stereotypical." This reminds me directly of my sig. Make up your mind. Either you want them to be blatently stereotypically female, or you don't. Claiming foul on both is dumb.

 

[Hella_Tellah]

...a males only game.

For my style of play, that would be downright unbearable. I'm a big believer in the Bechtel Rule: A story must have at least A) two women who B) talk to each other about C) something other than a man. She was talking about movies, but it's something I'm cognizant of in my games.

 

[Varianor Abroad]

I find that many of my female players like playing male characters. So why limit it for the male players?

 

[Betote]

A few people have brought up this point. There is a big difference between a DM and a PC and what a DM is able to do and a PC is able to do. I don't let my players play Dragons, but as a DM I do play the role of the NPC dragons. In the current campaign none of the PCs are allowed to play spellcasters, but as DM I am allowed to have NPC spellcasters. That one is for campaign reasons, but in either instance I don't think anyone would have a problem with it.

So are you claiming thaat girl PCs are overpowered or unbalanced?

 

[Set]

Being approached romantically or sexually by someone in whom you are not interested is uncomfortable, and if your games go those places, be prepared to have your comfort zone tested. If you don't want your games to have that possibility open, it doesn't make you a bad player, or a homophobe, or anything of the sort. Focus on running and playing in the games you enjoy; we don't all game to have our limits tested.

While I've got zero problem playing characters of either gender (and various races, species and inorganic states), I avoid sexual situations in all of them. I don't care if it has bumpy stuff on it's chest or down it's trousers, that's not a part of the character that I'm gonna be graphically detailing.

There's role-playing around the gaming table, and there's role-playing in the bedroom, and I don't feel comfortable blurring the line between the two. If someone else wants to talk about their characters adult fun, as long as it doesn't turn into a long-winded penthouse letter, I'm fine with that, but my own characters sexual (mis)adventures will be handled with a sentence like, 'X goes out and gets some.' (Commentary that might crop up quite a bit, if the character has been described as promiscuous!)

My number one warning sign that I need to leave is when someone is playing a female character (a player of either gender) and the DM conspires to get the character raped and / or pregnant. That sort of thing hits all of my buttons at once, with a sledgehammer, and I'm out the door.

Anywho, I've got enough male and female friends in real-life who don't do a very good job of portraying a stereotypical male or female, so I'm perhaps poorly suited to judging whether or not some dude pretending to be a girl is acting 'girly-enough.' When you know girl cops and boy nurses, the rules of what a girl is 'supposed to act like' tend to go out the window.