Players - if you would consider your PC having a romance with an NPC, what sort?

[S'mon]

Players - ONLY if you would consider your PC having a romance with an NPC, what sort of NPC might you go for?

In the thread about playing cross-gender, a female GM said she thought it was harder to provide suitable romantic-interest NPCs for players playing a character of the other gender, especially males playing female PCs.

I replied:

I think it depends a bit on the level of player-PC identification - I generally play PCs who, while they contain aspects of my personality, are very much 'not me', whether they're axe-wielding male barbarians* or dedicated female military officers.

That said, I don't have much experience as a player of playing a romance with a female PC. I remember one time playing 'Midnight' with a female GM my very reserved female Ironborn Fighter PC Zana Than clumsily tried to court a young man she took a fancy to, giving him a gift of jewelry, but the GM didn't pick up on it - I think Zana was *too* reserved!

The majority of my experience of romance subplots has been GMing female NPCs with male PCs played by male players, or in a few cases male NPCs with female players of female PCs. All have been heterosexual, I've never seen this "Male Player of Lesbian Stripper Ninja PC" thing, and I don't think I've ever seen or GM'd a Lesbian Stripper Ninja NPC either!

Lemme think - for a straight male player of a female PC, with a female GM and male NPC romantic interest... I'm thinking one trick might be for the male NPC to be a "man's man", someone the male player will identify with. Think Clint Eastwood or Charlton Heston, craggy square-jawed types. Avoid the kind of Johnny Depp/Orlando Bloom type male leads who mostly appeal to women, or the Romance Novel male who is strong-but-sexy and goes all squishy for the female protagonist.

That said, in the Midnight game the NPC my female PC was romantically interested in was a brave young squire of similar age to herself, and when I GM'd for female players in a Conan game they rapidly acquired downy-cheeked youths to swoon at the feet of their young female barbarian PCs, so that might be a possibility too. Also depends on how much of the romance is played out and how much is just abstracted.


Thinking about it some more, I'm not sure if my first bit of advice - "Clint Eastwood or Charlton Heston, craggy square-jawed types" was right even with male players of female PCs. I think that both male and female players of female PCs often seek to avoid romantic entanglements with an NPC perceived as more powerful than them, because they fear being deprotagonised/loss of power, like Queen Elizabeth I refusing to marry the King of Spain. By contrast players of male PCs IME don't seem to worry much about linking up with a more powerful female NPC, perhaps because the typical fantasy world is vaguely patriarchal - the male PC typically sees it more as a potential power boost for themselves than a threat to their independence.

So what I've actually seen in practice is: female PCs go for the "brave youth" type NPC, like a male Gabrielle to the PC's Xena. Male PCs by contrast go for female NPCs accounted their equal or superior in power, like the Wizard PC IMC who romanced the higher-level female head of the Wizard's Guild. And female LG Paladins are always very popular.

So, I was wondering what other players' perspectives on this are - what kind of NPC would their PC consider romancing, more in terms of personality than looks, more in terms of longer term relationships, not one-night stands, and leaving aside romance purely for ulterior motives like theft from the NPC. I'm particularly interested in what female PCs look for, whether the player is male or female.

If your response is "Ick, I would never have my PC engage in romance with anyone" then this is not your thread, thanks. Please don't post in it.

 

[Nagol]

Looking back at my experience as a player and as a DM, it’s hard to find specific trends may exist. The situation comes up relatively infrequently and from a variety of causes. I’m going to focus on long-term romances rather than other forms of interaction (roll in the hay, “we may all die tonight”, “it’s in the best interests of both our houses”, etc.)

I have noticed a slight preponderence of romances to include a female player. I haven’t really noticed a difference in preferences caused by player gender. I have seen some differences based upon character gender.

Players of male PCs typically look for complementary rather than competitive power. They seem more drawn to non-adventuring partners with wealth/political power/access to restricted resources than other adventuring types with mobile careers. There is the occasional “sweet girl in a small village”, but that is rarer and is usually partially instigated by the NPC through plot-driven contrivance (rescue adventure, continual interaction and some obvious hero worship, et al.). The players of male PCs tend to be more open to romance options if the PC has a base of operation, developed an emotional attachment to people or region, and/or have developed some form of success measured against the milieu.

Players of female PCs (lesbian ninja strippers aside) will more typically respond to overtures than instigate them. The few I’ve seen instigated have been “experienced female introduces inexperienced male” scenarios -- paladin targets are particularly popular for this. Favourable responses have been seen from most “appropriate” suitors – appropriate age, relative success, etc. Often the level of physical prowess matters for the NPC. A prince of the realm is OK, but a dashing prince of the realm is far better.

 

[S'mon]

Thanks Nagol, yes that all tallies pretty closely with my experience (except that most male PCs would run a mile from the 'sweet girl from the village', sadly)

The players of male PCs tend to be more open to romance options if the PC has a base of operation, developed an emotional attachment to people or region, and/or have developed some form of success measured against the milieu.

That's definitely been my experience; well established male PCs will often look to settle down and marry, whether for love or sometimes for politics. Examples I can recall from my campaign:

The PC deity Thrin fell in love with the high-level NPC hero Reesha, last survivor of a group of heroes who had called him through the Stargate to save her world Werskara from the Wolfen. After the defeat of the Wolfen they married and she currently resides with him in Asgard. The romance angle was completely unplanned by me as GM.

The PC Elven Archmage Elaith, long believing he was almost the last of his kind, discovered that the elven homeland Alfheim still survived, but was under attack by the Mabden. He met a high level female elven Paladin of Alfheim and, as I had expected, courted and married her.

Less romantically, the PC High King Sigurd Ravneskjold, Warlord of Trafalgis married the Princess Sylvana, after rescuing her from the evil Priest Kings, in order to secure a political union of their kingdoms.

All of these events came very close to the end of these characters' careers as active PCs. Edit: Also in all these cases the courtship was highly abstracted AIR, little or no in-character roleplay.

 

[S'mon]

Players of female PCs (lesbian ninja strippers aside) will more typically respond to overtures than instigate them. The few I’ve seen instigated have been “experienced female introduces inexperienced male” scenarios...

Yes, that definitely describes the female barbarian PCs of the female players in my Conan game!

 

[Dragonbait]

The Star Wars campaign I'm currently in is the only game I can think of that has PC/NPC relationships. The GM is female and the players are all male. My character is head-over-heels in love with a female Faleen on the Jedi council. He's a secret admirer of her's. It's pretty pitiful and that's why I enjoy it. One player's PC is married, but if she was a real wife she should have dumped his sorry butt long ago. He sees her as an accessory to his PC only. One player's character gets the hots for every female (double if it's a twi'lek) and starts flirting with them.

I've run NPC spouses of characters, but I think that was more out of necessity than anything and was definitely very generic.

In reality, most romances I've seen are between PCs and those are often the most interesting.

 

[MortonStromgal]

The one romance my character had was with a gearhead. She was the tom boy, blonde hair, blue eyed, athletic, mechanic working on my truck. She liked me, I liked her... then the zombies got her

 

[Barastrondo]

At present my most long-running PC has a long and largely off-camera history of falling for a "good girl," getting his heart broken, falling in with a psycho "bad girl" on the rebound, fleeing the relationship when it got too messed-up, and so on. I was actually surprised when the DM brought in his most recent psycho ex-girlfriend (and since he's a tiefling from Sigil, his ex has more than a little infernal blood herself). As a result, although he's trying very hard to break the cycle, it's easy to see him relapsing one way or another. (It was not a surprise when he wound up dominated by a succubus for half an evening recently.) He would probably fall hardest for a girl who embodied the strengths of both the "types" he's attracted to: sane and caring, but also playful and spicy.

Speaking from the perspective of a GM who's often providing romantic subplots, I've noted that female PCs have a penchant for becoming interested in NPCs I never actually thought of as romantic interests: rather, I simply build NPCs I find interesting and dynamic, and then I am startled when they pop up as potential romantic targets. The stoic-but-virtuous type is especially popular, I note; the female players I game with tend to like a guy with a touch of Batman.

It really depends on the player, though. One guy enjoys romantic subplots, but he seems to like them as a way to instigate interesting stories. He loves stuff like love triangles or a PC that is trying to marry someone with strong military might. Another is romance-agnostic. It's difficult for me to determine trends that could apply beyond the individuals involved.

 

[DragonLancer]

When I ran the Shackled City AP a few years ago, one of the players (a male blue-skinned winged Aasimar) started dating a barmaid at the party's favourite tavern and in ended with their marriage and birth of their son. It was part roleplayed and part in the background, but it certainly added soemthing interesting to the campaign.

Otherwise the only time it has been a regular occurence was some years earlier when I ran a lengthy Pendragon campaign.

 

[dvvega]

I can only speak as a DM since no other DM I have played under has presented the possibility. I have allowed players to develop romantic interests, from the basic tavern wenching all the way to chaste dating with chaperone and permission from the parents.

Included in this were parents urging the daughter to accept the wooing while the female was trying to avoid it (tomboy).

I have even had a male player playing a female player with serious mental issues regarding trust of males. The character slept with a male NPC and then became extremely clingy - as if it meant they were betrothed.

So as a DM I have gone that extra mile for players and their romantic notions. It does get slightly uncomfortable sometimes with the weirdness things go but I've roleplayed e every moment, every date.

Except for the *fade to black*

D

 

[S'mon]

In reality, most romances I've seen are between PCs, and those are of tne the most interesting.

You know, I don't think I've ever seen a PC-PC romance, certainly not in a tabletop game. Maybe it depends on the group, or the game system - running D&D type games IME I don't think most PCs are thinking of their fellow PC adventurers as potential romantic partners. YMMV.