My group is composed of a bunch of friends who are right around 40 years old. And we've known each other for upwards of 20 years. When we get together to game each week we've got other stuff to discuss. Bitching about work, talking about our kids and wives and the latest funny thing we saw on the internet.
What we do is designate the first 30 minutes of the game session to just chatting and farting around. Gaming WILL NOT commence before 30 minutes into the session. That's the rule.
I notice that everything you describe is about social interaction--talking, joking, telling stories. The OP's complaint is about cell phones, laptops, and video games.
I am, to put it mildly, a lot more accepting of the former than the latter. The way I see it, gaming is a chance to get together and hang out with friends; social interaction is as important as the game itself, if not more so. So if some nights we spend more time shooting the bull than actually gaming, it's no big loss. However, "playing with electronic gadgets" is not part of the mission statement*, and you can damn well do it on your own time.
I'm fortunate not to have to deal with that crap at my table--we do, as with Rel's group, sometimes spend a lot of time chatting and joking, but nobody's sending texts in the middle of combat. Once in a while somebody might want to show the group a Youtube video before the game starts, and once in a long while one of the players will take a brief call about something business- or family-related (two of the players are co-owners of a local Radio Shack, and two more have kids at home) but that's about it.
In the situation the OP describes, I'd push for a "no cell phone/text message conversations except emergencies, no computers, no video games" rule. Just be sure you know how you plan to enforce it and that you're ready to follow through, because I give it better than even odds somebody's going to test your resolve within five sessions. In-game sanctions--e.g., character death--are one option; I don't normally advocate in-game retaliation for out-of-game obnoxiousness, but in this case it might work as long as you establish the policy up front. Requiring everyone to hand over the gadgetry is another. An outright player-ban is the big gun, but may be necessary given what you've described.
Whatever you do, hold the line and don't let anything slide "just this once," or soon you'll be right back where you started. Here's how it will go if you aren't careful:
DM: "Bob, it's Thorgrim's turn."
Bob (texting busily): "One sec."
DM: "You know the rules. Rocks fall on Thorgrim's head and he dies."
Bob (hastily puts phone away): "No, it's okay, I'm done. I'm attacking, uh, that guy." (starts rolling dice)
DM: "..."
(The proper answer here is, "Too late. You're dead. Make a new character." Or whatever other penalty you've agreed on. But the DM has to be prepared to be a hard-ass.)
[size=-2]*No, we do not have a literal mission statement.[/size]
Last edited: