Enough is enough: Let's do something about Driizzt do'Urden

[Keefe the Thief]

We all know him, the plague of the campaign, curse of the DM, bleach of the brain. Ever thince Elminster/Driizzt slashfic became all the rage on the interwebs, countless referees have gaped in wordless horror as the new guy pulled out a character sheet with the words "drow", "ranger", "schimitar" (sic) and "kewl" inscribed thereon. Creating a Driizzt clone is considered a hate crime in 7 European states, but both Germany and the US are still struggling with the necessary legislation.

I say we have to take the first step to cure this disease. But trying to suppress the need of adolescent boys to hide their pimpled face by playing a wish-fulfilling whitehaired catlover would be equally harsh. No, we have to find a replacement, a character concept that scratches that itch without destroying our brains. ENworld is the biggest reservoir of DM-certified braincells, so let's try to be the Frankenstein that builds this messiah-monster destined to free us from suffering.

I'll start:

Hoodlum d'Rawr
Born with the lyre already in his hands, Hoodlum learned from an early age that dual-wielding was the way to greatness. After several failed attempts with pointy objects (resulting in scars on his underarms), Hoodlum settled on wielding dire-badgers while travelling with his motley crew in search of adventure. After several enchanting attempts with fire or ice failed (resulting in unnerving animal noises), he settled on just enchanting their mouths (one as a bottle of air, the other as a decanter of endless water).

Haunted by his dark past, he is hiding his most hideous secret even from his closest friends: he worked as a telemarketer in his fathers' company until the lure of adventure proved too great to ignore. Calling priestesses of Lolth to sell them Hello-Kitty shower curtains has ripped a gaping hole into his heart that can only be filled with mushy poetry and contiuous whining. He tries to repay society by slaying monsters and protecting the weak from those who are equally weak but much more nasty.

Now's your turn!

 

[Oryan77]

For some reason I don't really mind when a player makes a Drow Ranger with duel wielding scimitars. I don't really see it as being any different than what everyone else does.

Let's see, we have:

1. The dwarf with the Scottish accent. I actually do hate this character and it really gets under my skin when I hear a player roleplay his dwarf like this. I feel sorry for Scottish D&D players. I assume that they always have to play Dwarves unless they put on an accent of their own.

2. The mage with a bad attitude. Why does Drizzt get all the flak, but when a guy makes a Raistlin clone, nobody cares? Is it because it's easier to disguise it as being a Raisltin clone?

3. The fat cook adventurer. Any variation of a PC fighting with pots & pans, or fighting with a pot on his head, or fighting with a large mouth bass (yes I've heard this one before) is absolutely ridiculous. I'm sure it's fun for just a silly short run game, but to do this as a serious PC in a serious long term game would really get on my nerves.

4. The Bard PC that flirts with everything that moves. Again, nobody ever complains about this stereotypical PC. I'm sure way more of these PCs exist than Drizzt clones exist.

5. The arcane caster that wears a robe (or even a pointy hat). Why do they have to wear a robe? Wouldn't it be easier to cast spells in a shirt and some pants? Hell, my wife's sorceress wears shorts. I was surprised to hear that when she told me. I never thought of a PC wearing shorts before.

6. The Halfling that rides around on an animals back. I actually like this concept, but still, it's probably no less common than a Drizzt clone.

7. The dumb Half-Orc. They are half orc. They still have another half. How come they always gotta take on the dumb half? What if the human parent was a scientific genius?

8. The completely out of place monstrous PC. If played right, this could be pretty interesting. But it's rarely ever played right. This PC is no different than a Human when they enter into a town. NPCs never seem to mind some freak of nature walking into their tavern. The militia never rounds up the abomination and burn him alive. And the adventuring party never seems to mind having this guy with them, "He's a half-fiendish Ogre that wields a gargantuan bastard sword; so what?"

9. The Gnome Illusionist. If it's a Gnome, he has to be an Illusionist. This is probably as frequent as the Drizzt clone.

10. Which do you see more often, a Drow Ranger with duel scimitars, or an Elven Ranger with a bow?

Let's be original and rant about one of the above character concepts? I think that'll be more fun. I've never been one to jump on the bandwagon and hate on a popular fictional character because that's the cool thing to do on the internet. But now if you want to rant about people like Paris Hilton and those types; I'd love to join in. I see clones of those real-life people walking the streets every day. It's much more annoying than a Drizzt clone.

 

[Sunseeker]

1. The dwarf with the Scottish accent. I actually do hate this character and it really gets under my skin when I hear a player roleplay his dwarf like this. I feel sorry for Scottish D&D players. I assume that they always have to play Dwarves unless they put on an accent of their own.

I wage unceasing war against this stereotype, partly because of an ass-DM I had who thought his Scottish accent was the bees knees, and also because it's just dumb. My solution was simple at first, remove dwarves as a playable option. Of course that didn't go over well, so a forced change was needed. My dwarves are now dark-skinned.

2. The mage with a bad attitude. Why does Drizzt get all the flak, but when a guy makes a Raistlin clone, nobody cares? Is it because it's easier to disguise it as being a Raisltin clone?

No, it really is just as bad, but having a bad attitude doesn't necessarily make them a Rastlin clone. Mages had bad attitudes and superiority complexes long before Rastlin.

3. The fat cook adventurer. Any variation of a PC fighting with pots & pans, or fighting with a pot on his head, or fighting with a large mouth bass (yes I've heard this one before) is absolutely ridiculous. I'm sure it's fun for just a silly short run game, but to do this as a serious PC in a serious long term game would really get on my nerves.

Hhaven't actually seen this one. I'd imagine every two-bit ogre would squish 'em.

4. The Bard PC that flirts with everything that moves. Again, nobody ever complains about this stereotypical PC. I'm sure way more of these PCs exist than Drizzt clones exist.

Got a point with that one. But the women slapping him in the face makes me laugh.

5. The arcane caster that wears a robe (or even a pointy hat). Why do they have to wear a robe? Wouldn't it be easier to cast spells in a shirt and some pants? Hell, my wife's sorceress wears shorts. I was surprised to hear that when she told me. I never thought of a PC wearing shorts before.

Eh, a stereotypical clothing choice is a less offensive cliche than an emo-evil-misunderstood-not-evil-dogooder.

6. The Halfling that rides around on an animals back. I actually like this concept, but still, it's probably no less common than a Drizzt clone.

Yes, but again, this is only one feature of a character. Not a full character design, and it makes sense that a gnome or hafling would ride a dog instead of a tiger.

7. The dumb Half-Orc. They are half orc. They still have another half. How come they always gotta take on the dumb half? What if the human parent was a scientific genius?

Considering we're killing Orcs for raids, kidnappings, ect... all the time, I've never understood the "me hulk smash" character either. Orcs, while not a bunch of Einsteins, can't be that dense.

8. The completely out of place monstrous PC. If played right, this could be pretty interesting. But it's rarely ever played right. This PC is no different than a Human when they enter into a town. NPCs never seem to mind some freak of nature walking into their tavern. The militia never rounds up the abomination and burn him alive. And the adventuring party never seems to mind having this guy with them, "He's a half-fiendish Ogre that wields a gargantuan bastard sword; so what?"

That's more a DMs discretion thing in most cases. You play a half-dragon, well it's up to the DM how the world reacts to you.

9. The Gnome Illusionist. If it's a Gnome, he has to be an Illusionist. This is probably as frequent as the Drizzt clone.

Honestly, I've never seen one played.

10. Which do you see more often, a Drow Ranger with duel scimitars, or an Elven Ranger with a bow?

Before LOTR movies, the drow ranger. After LOTR, I'd say it's 50/50. but then, elves are advertized as being bow-oriented. So that's more of a lore issue than a character issue.

Let's be original and rant about one of the above character concepts? I think that'll be more fun. I've never been one to jump on the bandwagon and hate on a popular fictional character because that's the cool thing to do on the internet. But now if you want to rant about people like Paris Hilton and those types; I'd love to join in. I see clones of those real-life people walking the streets every day. It's much more annoying than a Drizzt clone.

I'm sure you'd be more than welcome to make a topic on that, that said, I think the problem is that Drizzet-clones are full-blown copies. While a gnome riding dog-back, is just an aspect of the character. Stereotypical for sure, but it need not be an overwhelming part of the PC, unlike a Drizzet-clone which demands to be emo and misunderstood as the defining parts of the character.

 

[luckless]

7. The dumb Half-Orc. They are half orc. They still have another half. How come they always gotta take on the dumb half? What if the human parent was a scientific genius?

Maybe they go with the idea that their other parent was dumb enough to get it on with an orc?

As a half human growing up around other orcs, they were picked on as a child and the repeated blows to the head softened their brains?

 

[Zelda Themelin]

Never seen Driizzt clone actually played. Seem to be very popular if I am to beliave internet. Driizzt as npc however, that I have seen used by forgotten realms fanatic dm's. And once abused by forgotten realms hating dm during spelljammer game. Long time ago.

I dont' like any FR major npc. For one, they all have been seemingly dubbed with wrong alighments, reads other, but does other. Worst offenders imo are seven sisters. I refuse to play FR nowdays, too bad, worlld has it's fine qualites but was ruined for me be by certain FR book loving people .

As to stereotpes, I am not so sure they are so general. I used to play with one person, who though had great imagination for adventures and plots had most horrible stereotypes for characters. I actually made list of them and they were published in one Swedish hobby magazine. So they got their 15 minutes of fame. Yeh, I was that bitter.

If you are curious they were like:

- sexy sadistic megalomaniac lesbian drow sorceress
- idiotic bumbling paladin
- corrupted version of character of any fantasy/scifi book/movie dm likes at moment
long list...

Oh, no. Now I remember that horrible "My little pony"-world adventure.

 

[Stumblewyk]

9. The Gnome Illusionist. If it's a Gnome, he has to be an Illusionist. This is probably as frequent as the Drizzt clone.

To be fair...up until 3e D&D, gnomes were restricted to being an illusionist if they wanted to be an arcane caster in D&D. =/

 

[Diamond Cross]

Actually every time I run an arcane caster I usually have him in pants and shirt. If I wear a robe it's because it has magical properties that are valuable to me.

I actually once ran a bard who was religious and believed that celibacy was the key to empowering his songs. Of course the DM tried to get him laid every single time, so eventually I stopped gaming with him.

I once ran a half-orc who used cestus and chakram as his main weapons. He even had a fair amount of psionic ability (rolled randomly) to beef him up as well.

But I got really tired of Drizzt copy cats. For a long time that was the only character the other players wanted to play and at one time the entire party, save myself, were dual wielding drow elves. I was the only human character for a long time. I also stopped playing with these people for a while because of this.

So now I just want to see Drizzt dead and gone.

And most of my characters I run are humans anyway. Once in a while I will run another demihuman race to see how I can overturn it. In editions previous to 3e, it's not so easy to overturn them. In 3e there is.

For example, I have an idea for an elf Paladin who is not very strong but uses Dexterity based feats for his main melee weapon. I also want to dual class him as a Rogue. I've never run a Paladin rogue before so the idea appeals to me. I think the main weapon might be the double bladed sword, but I haven't decided what his main meleed weapon would be.

The basic idea I have for that character is he started life as a rogue but he stole from the wrong church. The deity was angry and in order to atone for his crime he was charged with becoming a Paladin and must destroy one thousand demons and devils.

 

[fireinthedust]

Oryan: Frankly, because the Drizzt character is a particular build with associated style to it that was the D&D equivalent of Wolverine: Mary Sue.

The dual scimitar build isn't even a particularly great one, but Drizzt can't lose. Look at any of his stats, and he doesn't measure up to other optimized builds of his level in any edition except 2nd. He only measured up there because he had upwards of 5 out of 6 stats above 16!!! And, of course, the non-rules allowance of two full-sized weapons that no player-characters could do by RAW. So, yeah, if he *cheated*.

3e: two scimitars and a low Str score. For some reason he has a ludicrusly high Int score (17), and the character isn't written as being that smart; wise, perhaps, but not truly smart to compete with PC wizards. My guess is to make up

4e: Suddenly he's got a Str score in the 20s, and is Epic level. This is because he needs it just to hit (ie: no weapon finesse here), but it also means he can out arm wrestle Ogres.


Dwarves with Scottish Accents: Also RA Salvatore's fault (Bruenore, whose standard as a king is a foaming beer mug). I don't mind them, especially with LOTR movies. The Dwarves should be Scottish, or Swedish, as these are the places their myths come from. (so there's a perfectly good excuse for the accent). Really, though, the RAS accent is less scottish and more Pirate, which leans towards Jamaican/Irish at times.

However, the issue I have is the ridiculous dwarves: the Muffin-mashers and the Binky Billabongs he seems unable to write a so-called epic without. Could they be great? Sure. Sometimes I think they're too quickly written, and targeting his own kids rather than the general D&D audience. Young kids are not the target audience, especially not over the long run.


Flirty Bards: Pfft, you might as well stop playing D&D. At least not with human males. Oh, and while you're at it, ignore Mick Jagger and any/every other musician that ever was. Heck, Justin Bieber has more game than he knows what to do with.


Robes: seriously? They wear them because the outfit list says to. I wish I could wear a pointy hat. And at least they're Medieval. Why not harp on warriors wearing armor? "Oooooh, they're always wearin' their armour and using their weapons! grrrr"

Gnome Illusionists: Ah, because back in the day that's what they were designed to be/do. This goes back many years. It's like the Elven archer, though classic elves always use bows.

Elven Archer: See, the Drizzt clone is based off this one Dark Elf. No other drow use two scimitars, it was "original" back then. Set him apart. The others just used two weapons.

I think you're mixing up options with imitating a specific character.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I hate the Drizzt clones because I was playing a Drow Druid/MU/Ranger in about 1984- 4 years before he even showed up- and now everyone who sees that PC for the first time says "OH NOES! DRIZZLE CLONE!" (Other party members include an archmage who wears pointy hats and robes, and an elf with a bow, FWIW.)

Now, I have played my fair share of D&D stereotypes, but rarely do so anymore. However, I believe it is every player's right to play a stereotype if they want to.

In the meantime, I travel my own path, sometimes playing stereotypes, sometimes tweeking them, and sometimes blasting them out of the water and let others worry about their own PCs.

 

[the Jester]

Ain't no Drow pcs in my campaign.

It's a very simple solution.