Advice on recruiting a female gamer

[arvandus]

Hello,
I have a quick question for the female gamers in the audience. I'm currently gaming with a group of friends (2-3 males depending on day and 1 female) and we have been thinking of expanding it by 1. We currently wish to include one more women into the mix to... well... mix things up and I'm just wondering what is the best way to approach it. There is the usual casual talk to see if its a person we want in our group (which I call the are you crazy, anti-social and/or controlling test) but then how do I broach the roleplaying topic. I know I'm a social person and can have a casual conversation without sounding creepy, but I feel like if I approach a women about this subject, I might just sound Like a creepy dude waiting to get her into my dark role-playing dungeon. Before you ask though, I mean asking women of the geeky bent. The type that goes to cons and such. I'm not going to ask a women I meet at a bar, might be kinda awkward....

So ladies, how do I approach you without instantly giving you thoughts of doom and gloom.

I'm going to a sort of sci-fi meetup in a day or two so any advice would be appreciated.

 

[NewJeffCT]

I'm not going to ask a women I meet at a bar, might be kinda awkward....

Hey baby, wanna roll some d20s together?

Wanna earn 50 gold - the hard way?

I bet your charisma is an 18.

use some of those lines, and women will be falling all over you to play D&D.

In all seriousness, check out those gamers-seeking-gamers lists, find a few women & contact them that way. Tell them you have a woman in your group already and want another woman at the table. The sci-fi convention might work, but I've never been to one (or a gaming convention or any sort)... so I can't say for sure.

 

[Nagol]

Frankly, I've only ever looked for good players that would mesh well with the group. Trying to pick specific out-of-game traits seems odd.

Personally, if I were to do such a thing, I'd simply let it be known that I'm looking for another player at my established game and then go through the requests to play until I found what I was looking for. Nah, I'd stop at the first player that seemed a good fit, but that's me.

 

[Crothian]

Unless you know a woman who you want to invite into the group it might be difficult. Frankly, seeking out a female gamer who doesn't know you to game with you and your friends can be interpreted as a bit creepy.

 

[pawsplay]

"Do you play D&D?"
(person answers)

Don't be pushy. Don't interrogate. Just let the conversation flow. Let go of your goal and enjoy the verbiage. Who knows? She might be looking for a D&D group. And if not, well, you had some human contact, which isn't a bad thing, right?

 

[Dausuul]

"Do you play D&D?"
(person answers)

Don't be pushy. Don't interrogate. Just let the conversation flow. Let go of your goal and enjoy the verbiage. Who knows? She might be looking for a D&D group. And if not, well, you had some human contact, which isn't a bad thing, right?

This.

Just invite her to your game like you would a male gamer and don't worry about it.

 

[Oryan77]

First, put a dice bag filled with dice in your pants. But make sure it is in the front and not the back or she'll get the wrong message and think you had an accident.

Then basically do everything that Travolta does in Saturday Night Fever. Even if you are not a good dancer, just do his pose and point in the air. The girl will know what you mean. Then ask her if she's DTG (Down to Game).

Girls are a mysterious thing, especially gamer girls. You need to approach them cautiously or they'll make a break for it and fast. This isn't Elvis or a Sasquatch that we're talking about here. If you can find one, wrestle her down as quick as you can and hit her over the head with your dice bag. Be sure to be decked out in your full wizards outfit by the time she wakes up so you can quickly get to the gaming part.

Listen to what I'm saying if you know what's good for you. I've gamed with a lot of girls and I have their heads mounted on my wall to prove it.

 

[falcarrion]

I have found over the years that women gamers love fancy dice. It attacts them like moths to a flame. Go to a coffee shop and set some out and see what happens.

 

[Dannager]

My advice is to recruit irrespective of gender. Adding an ideal player to your game is far more important than adding a female player to your game.

 

[Samurai]

I'd see if the female gamer in the group knows any of her girlfriends that may be interested in playing. And maybe have the female gamer do the asking, or at least have her along with you if you ask. It might sound better coming from a fellow gamergirl...