Advice on recruiting a female gamer

[wedgeski]

+1 for hilarious thread.

My advice to the OP: don't do this. There are plenty of girl gamers out there and if they're local, and want to game, and you make it known there's a seat at your table, they will come.

Failing that advice, get the girl in your group to do the recruiting, not you.

 

[S'mon]

Reminds me of "The Gamers: Dorkness Rising". You could watch it for ideas...

 

[El Mahdi]

"Do you play D&D?"

Well Said!

(I need to spread some XP around before I could give you some more, so I just posted my agreement instead...)

 

[Kobold Boots]

I've made some horrible faux pas over the years by looking for very specific personality types and social arrangements for my groups whether it be "married couples only" or "couples only" or "extroverted types only".

When recruiting gamers with specific traits it's better to have the people in your group with that trait take an active face role in recruiting even if you're doing all the grunt work. Otherwise you really need to approach it like a very loose job interview where you don't tell anyone what you're looking for, but you discriminate quietly based on your needs.

in the cases where I've had multiple women in my group it all started by knowing females that game (via larping or some other gaming type hobby) and hanging with them. Most will try one session and it's your responsibility at that point to show that you can tell a story that they want to play in.

Be very careful when developing relationships to be very inclusive of their significant others. (true of either gender but especially so when you're recruiting your opposite sex) In the majority of cases, if you want a more diverse group it's often about becoming better friends with the people you aren't initially looking to add to the mix. Point is, you don't want to be seen as some creep that scams girlfriends (as others have already alluded to.)

 

[TarionzCousin]

I would suggest recruiting the best player you can find, regardless of gender. If it's a guy, and he fits well with your group, after a few months you could force him to get a sex-change operation.

Just a thought.

 

[ThirdWizard]

You can try recruiting at the LGS. That is a dangerous proposition, though. There can be crazy people at those places. The thought of letting a random person from a LGS into my home without a vetting process sends a chill down my spine.

Friends are also good. Acquaintances, too. You already know them and if you can stand them for a few hours, which is an important prerequisite for gaming. I've gamed with people I can't stand. It just doesn't go well.

Work might be another option for some. Although, it depends on your job, I suppose. I'm a programmer, so everybody here is pretty much a geek. World of Warcraft conversations, what happened on XBox Live, and Battlestar Galactica are all things you might hear people talking about around the office. So, that will vary greatly. Also, some people might catch wind of a game who you don't want to invite, and then things can get awkward at work...

Those are my thoughts.

 

[Umbran]

Stop thinking of it as recruiting a female player - you're recruiting a new player, and they happen to be female.

 

[ExploderWizard]

Stop thinking of it as recruiting a female player - you're recruiting a new player, and they happen to be female.

Better yet, look for another gamer who will fit best with your existing group, male or female.

Preserving group harmony is way more important than "mixing it up".

 

[steeldragons]

First, put a dice bag filled with dice in your pants. But make sure it is in the front and not the back or she'll get the wrong message and think you had an accident.

Then basically do everything that Travolta does in Saturday Night Fever. Even if you are not a good dancer, just do his pose and point in the air. The girl will know what you mean. Then ask her if she's DTG (Down to Game).

Girls are a mysterious thing, especially gamer girls. You need to approach them cautiously or they'll make a break for it and fast. This isn't Elvis or a Sasquatch that we're talking about here. If you can find one, wrestle her down as quick as you can and hit her over the head with your dice bag. Be sure to be decked out in your full wizards outfit by the time she wakes up so you can quickly get to the gaming part.

Listen to what I'm saying if you know what's good for you. I've gamed with a lot of girls and I have their heads mounted on my wall to prove it.

Thank you for the hysterical post! Can't XP right now...just did elsewhere. But WOW this had me chuckling out loud for a good while.

NOW I know what I've been doing wrong with my bag of dice. lmao.

I suppose I am very fortunate...and unusual...as my largest (6-8, sometimes as many as 10 people on a weekly basis) and longest running group was half female...with a female DM! *I* was invited to their existing group (4 females and 3 guys at the time I came along...and other players, male and female came and went over the years)!

And this was back in the late 80's!

Gaming with girls, for me, was never strange or strained...cuz they were...well...just always there. I never really realized, until coming to these boards so many moons later, that female players were a relatively "new" (last 20 years or so) thing.

As for bringing one in, seems I'm in the common camp of "just ask her". She's either interested in gaming or she's not. I don't think you can "woo" someone into a gaming group. There is no "right way" to approach it.

"Hey we have this roleplaying game night we do...We have a great time. Would you be interested in coming and trying it out?" She answers. She does or does not try it out. She does or does not like it and so does or does not come back the next session.

There's really no other way to do it.

Good luck and happy gaming.
--Steel Dragons

 

[nedjer]

Like you've got problems. How do you recruit less girl gamers? One turns up, then another, then their pals. I've currently two dude mates who can't get a game 'cos the table's full. On the plus side, the food's fantastic.

Pity you're not just looking for a girlfriend as that's straightforward

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0I6mhZ5wMw&feature=related"]YouTube - Barry White - Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Baby.[/ame]

Yeah, even the guys are dancing