Jack7
First Post
Early this week the Detonation Truth show undertook a joint project with Ghost Hunters Cryptonational with the intention of capturing on a Russian night vision digital animated camera an image of the elusive Cryptozoic Ghostchild Chupacabra.
This particular Chupacabra is the ghost of a human-chupacabra hybrid believed to have been extinct since the Aztecs were last making vulture-heart sacrifices at the Pyramid of the Sun. The expedition was going extremely well with several unexplained grumbling and incoherent hooting noises (likely the mating sounds of local teenagers) being captured on audio, and the face of a unknown creature (probably an escaped rhesus money) having already been taped at a distance through a kaleidoscope distortion lens.
However at a time that stopped digital wrist-watches later recorded as 0235 hours, Zulu time, at a longitude and latitude that was classified and undisclosed, but said to be just West of Mid-Atlantis and just South of Lower Muland, the entire Team suddenly felt "very cold and sorta creepy."
At this point the Joint Strike DT-GH Team (as they now like to call themselves) witnessed a huge transparent purplish triangular disc-shaped craft (resembling an upside-down Parkay tub) rise into the sky, overshadow the moon, make numerous dips and turns at supersonic (possibly superlight) speed and then spew out several smaller "Star-Trek style shuttlecrafts" - one of which seemed to crash at a landing site less than a hundred yards away. There was no sound during this entire period and all but one of the cameras recorded several minutes of unexplained visual "fuzz." The other recorded an old Liza Minenlli film thought to have been broadcast out of Bogotá.
Said one member of the team in utter astonishment, "Tell me you guys saw that!"
They all agreed that most of them probably had, but that they needed to investigate further in the case they had missed something.
The JS DT-GH Team then moved into the mysterious Rainforest Jungle where they discovered what they first thought to be an unknown and previously unclassified tribe of half-Razorback Mountain Gorillas living in the Peruvian Alps. However further examination revealed that the gorillas were not abnormally tall Ape-Men from the Island of New Galapagos, but were in fact Bigfeet UFO pilots from deep within the Hollow Earth.
After a hastily arranged news conference with the JS DT-GH Team it was decided that real, professional UFO Hunters with their own show should be called in, but that there was probably no time for that. So instead the JS DT-GH Team decided to record the Bigfeet crew disclosing details of their mission, including their obvious lamenting of the fact that Oxygen-Based Global Warming had caused the core of the Earth (which provides stellar warmth to all denizens of the Hollow Earth) to burn at a temperature of an incredible 1,000,000 degrees Celsius for the foreseeable future. (Once this became widely known the Federal Reserve immediately devalued the Celsius scale in an attempt to stave off yet another Bigfoot Obsession.)
Because of the immensely thick coat of fur of the technologically advanced Bigfeet it was decided that the entire race should leave the Hollow Earth and seek refuge on the planet Epsilon Zeta 34 where the bug-eyed grays and the Lizard Men (formerly of Dinotopia) spawned in the sea pits of Doofissia currently live together in a confederated imperial Utopia they call "the Hyborianated Age."
Upon returning to their base of operations the JS DT-GH Team excitedly used the very latest high-tech Walmart bought equipment (currently on loan from the SyFy channel) to technically analyze their amazing interspecies press conference. To their shock and dismay they found that all of their equipment had been regressed to the Nintendo era and that all of their recordings contained only left-handed sketch notes for home made Zelda adventures.
However, even more bizarrely the JS DT-GH Team also discovered that one team member was over a foot taller than was previously believed possible (measurements have been inconclusive), several were suffering from post-traumatic reality dysfunction and had restricted bowel movements, and that two team-members had disappeared completely and were presumed eaten.
Investigations are on-going. Updates are currently available on Rube-Tube.
This particular Chupacabra is the ghost of a human-chupacabra hybrid believed to have been extinct since the Aztecs were last making vulture-heart sacrifices at the Pyramid of the Sun. The expedition was going extremely well with several unexplained grumbling and incoherent hooting noises (likely the mating sounds of local teenagers) being captured on audio, and the face of a unknown creature (probably an escaped rhesus money) having already been taped at a distance through a kaleidoscope distortion lens.
However at a time that stopped digital wrist-watches later recorded as 0235 hours, Zulu time, at a longitude and latitude that was classified and undisclosed, but said to be just West of Mid-Atlantis and just South of Lower Muland, the entire Team suddenly felt "very cold and sorta creepy."
At this point the Joint Strike DT-GH Team (as they now like to call themselves) witnessed a huge transparent purplish triangular disc-shaped craft (resembling an upside-down Parkay tub) rise into the sky, overshadow the moon, make numerous dips and turns at supersonic (possibly superlight) speed and then spew out several smaller "Star-Trek style shuttlecrafts" - one of which seemed to crash at a landing site less than a hundred yards away. There was no sound during this entire period and all but one of the cameras recorded several minutes of unexplained visual "fuzz." The other recorded an old Liza Minenlli film thought to have been broadcast out of Bogotá.
Said one member of the team in utter astonishment, "Tell me you guys saw that!"
They all agreed that most of them probably had, but that they needed to investigate further in the case they had missed something.
The JS DT-GH Team then moved into the mysterious Rainforest Jungle where they discovered what they first thought to be an unknown and previously unclassified tribe of half-Razorback Mountain Gorillas living in the Peruvian Alps. However further examination revealed that the gorillas were not abnormally tall Ape-Men from the Island of New Galapagos, but were in fact Bigfeet UFO pilots from deep within the Hollow Earth.
After a hastily arranged news conference with the JS DT-GH Team it was decided that real, professional UFO Hunters with their own show should be called in, but that there was probably no time for that. So instead the JS DT-GH Team decided to record the Bigfeet crew disclosing details of their mission, including their obvious lamenting of the fact that Oxygen-Based Global Warming had caused the core of the Earth (which provides stellar warmth to all denizens of the Hollow Earth) to burn at a temperature of an incredible 1,000,000 degrees Celsius for the foreseeable future. (Once this became widely known the Federal Reserve immediately devalued the Celsius scale in an attempt to stave off yet another Bigfoot Obsession.)
Because of the immensely thick coat of fur of the technologically advanced Bigfeet it was decided that the entire race should leave the Hollow Earth and seek refuge on the planet Epsilon Zeta 34 where the bug-eyed grays and the Lizard Men (formerly of Dinotopia) spawned in the sea pits of Doofissia currently live together in a confederated imperial Utopia they call "the Hyborianated Age."
Upon returning to their base of operations the JS DT-GH Team excitedly used the very latest high-tech Walmart bought equipment (currently on loan from the SyFy channel) to technically analyze their amazing interspecies press conference. To their shock and dismay they found that all of their equipment had been regressed to the Nintendo era and that all of their recordings contained only left-handed sketch notes for home made Zelda adventures.
However, even more bizarrely the JS DT-GH Team also discovered that one team member was over a foot taller than was previously believed possible (measurements have been inconclusive), several were suffering from post-traumatic reality dysfunction and had restricted bowel movements, and that two team-members had disappeared completely and were presumed eaten.
Investigations are on-going. Updates are currently available on Rube-Tube.
