As a DM, what is your default answer to player requests?

[Mort]

ENWorld is widely viewed as DM heavy, so I thought it would be a good place to ask the following:

What is you “default” answer to player requests?

Is it “yes”, “yes but”, “maybe,” “no but”, just “no?” or something else? Is your answer very system dependent?
Have your players influenced or changed your default over time?

I recognize that player requests vary widely – going from the simple to the absurd. But that’s the point: what’s your default – when does it change/deviate etc?

I suppose I could have made this a poll but I wanted a give and take discussion which I think (imo of course) polls sometime take away from (especially as people get more focused on was it the “right” question etc.).


Just a thought I was having and thought it would be a fun thread.

 

[Oversquid]

I just tell the person that I have no more room for anybody to join in. If the person can't take that response, I probably wouldn't want them playing in my game even if I had room.

 

[Nagol]

I don't think I have a default answer. If I do, it's "Sounds interesting...". I prefer to think through consequence and implication before I give a definitive answer.

It strongly depends on the request though. Many, I dare say most, are pretty straightforward and don't require much thought or are already previously decided.

 

[Mallus]

With my current group, "yes". Without a moment's hesitation.

 

[Mort]

I just tell the person that I have no more room for anybody to join in. If the person can't take that response, I probably wouldn't want them playing in my game even if I had room.

Hmm,

not a request to join the game! Player requests in game as in "can I do x"

Or do you really mean that if a player asks you to do something you're response is "I have more than enough players, pack your dice and go!"

Which would certainly be one approach!

 

[pemerton]

My default is yes. Maybe yes, and. Sometime yes, but.

I'm happy enough to say no to minor requests where the player is not that invested and I don't think it would work/make sense/take things in the best direction for play. But I don't like to say no when a player is invested. And I like my playes to be invested in as much of the game as possible!

 

[Mort]

TO answer my own question:

I try very hard to say "yes" and "yes, but" - especially (as Pemerton said) if the players are invested.

[edit: and of course if something is contested - it would be "maybe, yes"]

 

[Umbran]

I'm on the Yes end of the spectrum.

 

[Oversquid]

Hmm,

not a request to join the game! Player requests in game as in "can I do x"

Or do you really mean that if a player asks you to do something you're response is "I have more than enough players, pack your dice and go!"

Which would certainly be one approach!

Oh, my bad.

Well if a player were to do something in game that they can't do, I prefer to do a "Yes, but" or a "No, but" approach.

Never say "No" and only "No", because "No" contributes nothing. If given a reason, then the player will get an idea as to what or what not to do, and the why of it.

 

[Man in the Funny Hat]

It sounds so hip to say, "I'm a DM who says 'Yes!' to his players." The fact is that my answer is now, and always will be, entirely dependent upon the actual request. I don't want to say "yes" by reflex. That wouldn't be doing my job because players should NOT always get what they want.

Now admittedly, too often in the past I have denied even quite inconsequential requests for far too selfish reasons or without good reasons at all. That's something all DM's have to come to grips with because the position we are in is one of being the guy who DOES have to say "no" a lot if the inmates aren't to run the asylum.

I think that "saying yes" is less a matter of training yourself to accede to player requests than of giving DUE consideration to ideas for the direction of the game beyond your own. Yes, the DM has the LAST word (by right, privilege and necessity) - but that doesn't mean his is the ONLY word. Saying "yes" is about removing your blinders, not about giving away the store.