D&D 5E Crazy Ideas 5E Should Not Adopt

[Kingreaper]

42. There is a 42 page section on hitchhiking

 

[Savage Wombat]

43. All OGL products must, before use in a game, be hand-signed and thumbprinted by Monte Cook.

 

[Shemeska]

44. At the end of every campaign, the yugoloths win.

 

[Ichneumon]

5e follows the real world day-night cycle. When it's time for a long rest, everyone lies down and sleeps till morning. Keeping watch is optional, but depending our your DM, probably recommended.

5e sessions emulate the Blood War, with half the players as devils and half as demons. (The DM is an insane yugoloth archlord)

An essential part of your character is a plush toy and an adoption certificate.

Magic really works. This might sound like fun, but if the DM is polymorphed into a frog and there's a hungry, inquisitive cat around, it could all end in tears.

5e implements the Duke Nukem Forever gaming engine.

5e is secretly codenamed the Pulling Edition, containing heartfelt tributes to Patricia Pulling and containing "nothing she would disapprove of".

Players have to complete a scavenger hunt for each ability they want their PC to have. It's rumoured that you have to acquire a tram ticket, a photo of a 50-plus year old truck driver in Spandex, a Bob Wills '78 and a pompom signed by an NFL quarterback before your wizard can cast magic missile.

 

[Syunsuke]

New ability score; Craziness.
You can substitute any ability score with Craziness and you can roll d29 instead of d20. But d29 must be genuine; every face must have same shape, etc.

...I guess this is a crazy idea 5E Should adopt, actually

 

[Lanefan]

44. At the end of every campaign, the yugoloths win.

Shouldn't that be "At the start of every campaign..."

Lanefan

 

[Frostmarrow]

53. Common is traditionally spoken with speech sound disorder.

54. Fighters get an XP-bonus for role-playing sarcasm.

 

[Hassassin]

55. The d20 is replaced with the d52/d13 - a deck of cards. The deck must be shuffled before each use and cut by the DM (or the defending player, when a monster or NPC attacks).

 

[mkill]

56)

I really don't know about 5e's Duke Nukem Forever gaming engine. Still for me it is not completely clear.
Don't know why people use old cabinets? Try Lowest Quality kitchen cabinets

Instead of playtesting, the raw rules are posted on a wiki, to be brutalized by spambots. Then printed as is. 30 years later, +5 flaming kitchen cabinets will be considered as iconic as rolling for hit points, and massive fan backlash will prevent their removal from 12th edition.

 

[Meophist]

Hit points are replaced by Damage Threshold(DT). Take your DT in damage in a single attack and you get a Fortitude save(DC = damage). If you fail, you die. Now, you no longer need to keep track of your hit points, so less bookkeeping.