Anybody else have this problem?

[SnowleopardVK]

I've run into this in a way that isn't actually the player's fault (or anyone's fault really).

The reason in my group's case is that one of our players has a learning disability. I don't know all the details (or remember what it's called actually) but basically he can't tell when he's talking too much or denying others their chance to speak. It takes very clear pointing out to him that someone else is trying to talk to make him realize he's doing it and give others a chance to get their turn, and even that can be tough, as he has a tendency to talk over the person trying to tell him he's interrupting others.

Basically in our case the rest of the group needs to very clearly understand that he has a disability and isn't simply being rude. Beyond that, the players who usually stick around in my group are generally either patient enough to wait for him to finish, or so outgoing that they can counter by talking over him forcefully enough for him to notice. They also all tend to be friends who've known him prior to gaming with him. Personally I fall into the "patient" category.

 

[amerigoV]

The old Party Caller might help, especially in exploration mode. Its their job to talk to all the players to get their action then articulate an overall course of action to the DM. Their job is to make sure everyone is involved (and it allows the DM to sit back and make sure it happens).

 

[fireinthedust]

It's a complicated issue for us and there's a lot here to unpack. First there's the gender thing. This seems to impact the woman more than the men, although I've felt it too. There's also the issue of inexperienced people who don't (or can't) roleplay their characters versus those who just jump in and start talking, leaving the non-roleplayers feeling like they have no way to respond. Then there's personality issues between the more gregarious out-going people versus the introverts.

(snip)

We've also talked about one of the most outgoing players who also tends to be the one who most often talks over other people. He listened and apologized but nothing changed (taking over a room is in his nature and it's hard to fight that sort of thing but maybe I'm making excuses for him.)

I have some solutions

1) You need to take charge more than you do. It is your job to run the game, but that doesn't mean you're babysitting grownups. Rather what it means is that you need to remember that everyone is listening to whoever you are listening to. If you're talking, they're not. if you ask a member of the group what they're up to, everyone else better shut up so you can hear them. The reason: you are the world. It's not extra work for you to guide who gets to speak, it's your every action.

2) Every round of combat, every action, you need to systematically check with each and every player about their action. In combat this is a given: we have set turns. Outside of combat, break up what they do action by action.
Example: the group finds a door in a dungeon hallway.
Talkative player: I check for traps!
GM: Okay, quiet player what are you doing?
Quiet Player: Um, I stand back in case he explodes, drawing my--
TP: (interrupts) Does the door have any riddles on the--
GM: (holds up hand) One sec, TP, I've got to check with QP. Okay, QP, what are you drawing?
QP: My wand of feather fall, so if there's a pit trap I can save TP.
GM: Ah, good thinking, let's see if it pans out. (goes through the other 2-3 players next, then finally) Now TP, as you were saying?
TP: Uh, I check for riddles on this door like the other three. I sense a pattern!
GM: Oooh, well good idea (gives reward xp) but you don't get a chance to look into it as you suddenly fall through a trap door in the floor! You didn't check the floor for traps as you approached.
TP: Reflex! Did I save?
GM: (evil grin) no! Everyone hears a grinding noise begin from all around you as he falls. QP, everyone, let's roll initiative and see if QP can react fast with that wand of feather fall, and save TP's life!
TP: Eep! Can I roll, too, and try to cling to the wall?
GM: Sure! Initiative rolls please! (pen, paper, dice, etc.)


See, you've got the power to direct AND encourage. It's a twin power, and you should use both. Since you as GM are always trying to engage ALL players with your game, how you act determines how everyone else does.

Think of quiet players as your responsibility to check with, with the challenge that you still encourage the talkative players (who have great ideas, too). You're like a teacher with different students. Your job is to point to everyone.

I do it every single round. if you switch between players at the right moments you can get some real suspense going. One action and a move action, and then the next player.

Practice it until everyone gets used to listening and turns.

 

[Wild Gazebo]

I'm lucky enough that this isn't a problem; but, I have played with people who enforce a strict talking rule.

The one group had a crystal egg that they passed around: you could only talk if you had the egg. There were penalties associated with it...but my fading memory has bereft me of that particular wisdom--sorry. I'm sure you can come up with something. This rule is something that all have to agree to and enforce...and I can remember all sorts of funny events that were retroed or passed through due to 'lack of egg'. And, obviously, this rule is for a group that isn't able to self monitor with either a group ethic or a strong leader to enforce decorum.

It works. And it works well. And you might find after a few months the egg begins to feel useless as everybody is used to the decorum. The group I was talking about had a veritable revolving door of players...so I'm willing to bet it is still being used to this day.

Hope that helps.

 

[Rune]

Good players should make an effort to engage other players.

Spam reported.

 

[Rune]

To the OP: If you want to be subtle about it, when the players start talking over other players, quietly take note, but say nothing, until they are finished talking. Once they have finished saying what they interrupted with, deliberately and specifically go back to the person who got interrupted and ask them to clarify what they were trying to say.

In this way, you reinforce and reward behavior that is not disruptive and do so without resorting to such behavior yourself (and, in fact, provide a model for emulation).

 

[SkredlitheOgre]

Did you (the DM) talk to him about the issue? The reason I ask is that because you're the DM, he might have blown it off a little, as he knows you're doing your 'job.' If one of the other players says something, it might have a little more impact. Instead of 'the boss' saying something, having a peer say something might be more effective.

In my old GURPS group (3 players and the GM), we had a player (Player 1) who would do this. Player 1 would come up with some 'great idea' or start asking questions over myself and the other player. Normally I didn't really care that much, but the other player did. Even after the GM mentioned the problem to the player, nothing changed. The real problem there was that the GM was brought into the group by Player 1 and they were really good friends, so I don't think the GM was going to put the kibosh on the behavior.

One night, Player 3 is trying to relay his action to the GM and Player 1 jumps in asking four or five different questions at the same time. Player 3 was getting frustrated, so I simply said (quite loudly), "Sorry, Player 3! I can't hear what you're saying!"

The room went quiet for a second and then Player 3 relayed his actions to the GM. The behavior didn't go away entirely, but Player 1 did dial it back a bit.

 

[Negflar2099]

These are great suggestions. Thank you all, very much.

It isn't really one person that does all the talking or one person that is quiet but we have talked to people individually and as a group and the problem persists.

I love the idea of loudly saying "excuse me I want to hear what player 3 has to say" but when I'm the GM that could be a problem because our most quiet player happens to be my wife. If I interrupt one player to say excuse me, you need to let my wife talk, well that opens me up to charges of favoritism. Of course, in wanting to avoid that my poor wife is getting left out, which isn't fair at all.

But I like your suggestions. I love the idea of the egg. I think if I make the talking stick something interesting like that it could go along way towards fixing the problem.

I know that at the end of the day when I'm DMing I can't let this go on and it's entirely my fault but I still can't seem to get my group under control in that way. I think the egg will work.

Thanks.

 

[Umbran]

Consider this:

When you run a combat, you usually have an initiative order, right? You probably go around the table, one by one, asking folks what they want to do.

Take that same approach outside of combat. Go around the table, and ask each player what they want to do. (Ah! Fireinthedust left me in the dust on this one! )

You don't necessarily need to have an initiative order - you can just go around the table clockwise, or in a random order you switch up each time around. Don't allow other players to interrupt until one player has had his or her say.

Or, you can have an initiative order - in a social scene, have them roll a d20, and add their charisma modifier, and take them highest to lowest. In a puzzle-solving scene, use Intelligence modifiers instead...

 

[ExploderWizard]

The old Party Caller might help, especially in exploration mode. Its their job to talk to all the players to get their action then articulate an overall course of action to the DM. Their job is to make sure everyone is involved (and it allows the DM to sit back and make sure it happens).

Yup. Do this and rotate the position of caller every hour of game time or so, making sure everyone has equal time.