How to deal with a problem player

[Blitzkind]

Hi all, I'm going to be a DM for the first time in the next week or so and I wanted to get some advice from those more experienced.

Like I said, this is my first time being a DM and my group of players are all friends of mine who I've played with before as a player. One in particular tends to always make trouble for our DM (Out of Character actions, getting upset when he can't do something that the DM declares impossible, and not giving the DM his character's backstory).

I'm curious as to how some of you would deal with a player like him, how would you handle it? To be fair, I really think he's a great guy and would like to keep playing with him, but I'm worried that if I'm faced with this the first time I DM I'll handle it poorly.

Anyways, thanks for the input.

 

[the Jester]

Talk to him and explain your concerns. Let him know that you want to game with him but that if he causes significant problems, you'll boot him. Then stick to it.

 

[Gilladian]

Have you thought about talking to him before the game, trying to get him to see your concerns, and be "on your side" for you as you learn to DM?

You may not want to say "I'm afraid you'll whine and throw a tantrum if you don't get your way", but if you say something more like "You're good at coming up with unexpected ideas, and sometimes your characters do surprising things"... you can get him to work with you instead of against you.

 

[Zourin]

Any player can try to do what they want to with no guarantee of success, but if something is mechanically forbidden in the rules, quickly summarize the applicable rules at hand and explain what can and cannot be done. If you feel this is deliberate, remember you are the referree. If you HAVE to throw someone out for RL misbehavior, it's part of the game too. Have people roll random saves and sidebar some of the other players for how they feel about it before you do. Yes, it's awkward when that player is the host.

Characters don't need a backstory at first (it's a player RP tool and DM fuel), just be mindful of how everyone 'comes together' and hook into the module. Try not to let individuals sidetrack away from the party too far.

If it's your first time, skip the 'date gone wrong' introductions, let players get their town prep out of the way on paper, and pick up outside your Devious Dungeon. Players can be forgiving if you get off the pot and get them to the good stuff.

 

[nedjer]

Show him the cheesecake/ pizza/ chocolate the group are having at meal break and explain that his share is already on the line. This isn't necessarily fair or reasonable, but tasty food is often at least as persuasive as words

 

[Tequila Sunrise]

One in particular tends to always make trouble for our DM (Out of Character actions, getting upset when he can't do something that the DM declares impossible, and not giving the DM his character's backstory).

What Gilladian said is great advice. All I have to add is that asking why your friend does these things will probably help. You might gain some insight into his attitude and how to DM.

If nothing else, asking other people about their opinions and feelings is a powerful tool of persuasion. If done tactfully, it makes them feel like you're already on their side, and they'll be more willing to compromise or even turn their behavior completely around.

 

[Derfmancher]

I have a player quite like that myself. He is in fact our host. He gets really bent out of shape when his idea of the rules is not the DM's idea of the rules. Various bonuses of a spell being permanent, and other random BS.

Take him aside before your first session starts, and tell him that you understand that he wants to run his character a particular way, but ultimately you have a final word. He can ask to do anything, but what happens is up to you. That's your job as DM. After this conversation during the game, when he asks to do something that's impossible, allow him to try unless the rules flat say he cant.

 

[Wednesday Boy]

I love the suggestions of taking the player aside and talking about your expectations and concerns but I would do that only after the player acts up. My gut feeling is that having the conversation preemptively could make the player feel like they're being judged for a crime they haven't committed and aggrivate the situation.

 

[Umbran]

My gut feeling is that having the conversation preemptively could make the player feel like they're being judged for a crime they haven't committed and aggrivate the situation.

Except that he has done it, under the previous GM.

That gives you a good window of approach - "Joe, I noticed that when we were playing under Bill there were some difficulties. As I pick up the job, I'd like to work with you to help alleviate some of the issues you had working with Bill. Could you tell me *why* you think these things were happening?"

 

[Wednesday Boy]

Except that he has done it, under the previous GM.

That gives you a good window of approach - "Joe, I noticed that when we were playing under Bill there were some difficulties. As I pick up the job, I'd like to work with you to help alleviate some of the issues you had working with Bill. Could you tell me *why* you think these things were happening?"

That's a good point. I was concerned that a preemptive stike might put the player on the defensive and hinder further discussion.