As a player I too prefer to stay in actor stance. And because of this, and for all the reasons you list, 4e is to me vastly superior to any other edition of D&D.
More like "Why didn't you trip him?"
"I didn't see an opportunity."
Of course, I saw an opportunity. Every round, the character makes a choice of manoeuvre with trip being one of those choices. Every round, the character has to choose whether to use today's trip or not. You may want to believe the character doesn't know that he will only get one attempt and that attempt only comes when the opponent gives him a specific opening, but that's not how the game engine works and its not the mechanism I need to put to the decision process.
The rest of your comment is to me metagaming and indicates that you are already out of actor stance. The OODA loop should be adhered to while gaming - and all options present all the time defeats the point of this.
Why yes, yes it is. And I don't like it.
Try "That was impressive! I didn't think you had it in you!"
"Like just about all professional athletes and unlike some people I know about pacing myself. I am not, unlike most anti-immersive fighters an untiring robot who always performs at exactly the same level regardless of whether we are fighting goblins or a dragon. I have adrenaline, emotions, a sense of timing, and the ability to pull out all the stops."
Really? You saw me pull the same stunt every major battle for the last 10 adventures! Have more faith!
To me this is straining at gnats while swallowing camels. The elephant in the room is Hit Points. Hit points where you can be whittled down to one and have no mechanical effect at all and it takes no longer to recover than a professional athlete after a race.
It's a choice between The Last Action Hero and an utterly incoherent system that suddenly changes from a Hollywood Action Movie when you are above 0hp to ... something else once you cross that threshold.
I find a consistent world, as 4e presents, makes maintaining actor stance vastly easier.
Your mileage varies. I don't find the world any more consistent -- it is less. It's not like healing surges actually fix anything that's wrong with hp. Previous editions at least had supplementary rules around about reducing character effectiveness once revived from dying.
To me the ability to refuse is just common sense.
OK.
Fiddly positional combat is a feature of D&D. 4e's is less fiddly than 3e's - and far less fiddly than either 2e's fireballs-by-volume or 1e's distances measured in inches. Theatre of the Mind works great in systems built for it like Fate and 13A. But the battlemap is the only way I can maintain actor stance without analysis paralysis and games of 20 questions in any form of D&D.
And when you add in the fact that 4E is the one version of D&D where you very rarely have to look up rules (something that shatters actor stance because it means you don't understand the world) then 4E absolutely crushes all previous editions for me for actor stance.
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Your mileage varies greatly. I've run and played other editions as full TotM for decades -- 3.X was harder than 1-2e, but quite possible.
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