Dumb Movies

[Ryujin]

Uhh, I don't remember. There's been plenty, I guess. I tend to watch most movies from beginning to end, hoping against hope that they'll get better at some point...

So, instead, allow me to mention The Three Musketeers (2011) which was so awful I couldn't stand watching it longer than about 15 minutes.

I warned Matt Easton/scholagladiatoria not to try reviewing the sword fighting in that movie, as it might result in catastrophic cranial damage.

 

[Piratecat]

Jhaelen, Three Musketeers got AWESOME as soon as you realized it was a RPG Steampunk swashbuckling game run by 14 year olds. Once I accepted that, it was totally stupid fun.

How was the chupacabra/Alamo movie?

 

[was]

How was the chupacabra/Alamo movie?

On par with watching a car rust.

 

[Ryujin]

On par with watching a car rust.

Ah, so at least a step up on "Sharknado."

 

[Homicidal_Squirrel]

The Purge. Such a terrible movie. In fact, I don't even want to call it a movie because it's an insult to movies. Worst part? They made a second one.

 

[Mallus]

Jhaelen, Three Musketeers got AWESOME as soon as you realized it was a RPG Steampunk swashbuckling game run by 14 year olds. Once I accepted that, it was totally stupid fun.

The one with the airship? Yeah, it was really entertaining. A solid contemporary adventure B-movie, with (a lot) more wit than I expected.

SyFy Channel disaster movies are the go-to dumb movies in our house, especially if they contain divorced rogue scientists, badly CGI-ed cracks in the earth, and metallic tornadoes.

 

[Ryujin]

SyFy Channel disaster movies are the go-to dumb movies in our house, especially if they contain divorced rogue scientists, badly CGI-ed cracks in the earth, and metallic tornadoes.

It seems that everyone works to a fill in the blanks script these days. SyFy isn't the only offender, as the same paint by numbers sort of script was used for "2012", but they are certainly the worst offenders at this point.

1. Divorced ___________ (preference for scientist, author, or member of the military) is shown not getting along with his ex and (optional) children, and new (smarter, richer, better looking) partner of ex.

2. Divorced ___________ discovers that __________ (world is going to end, mass death, etc.) because of ___________ (creative use of pop science or mythology a bonus).

3. Divorced ___________ rushes to save his former family. Death of the new partner is optional, but necessary if you desire family being reunited as part of resolution. This plays well in Middle America, particularly.

4. Profit.

 

[delericho]

Jhaelen, Three Musketeers got AWESOME as soon as you realized it was a RPG Steampunk swashbuckling game run by 14 year olds. Once I accepted that, it was totally stupid fun.

Yep. And given we're unlikely ever to get another Musketeers adaptation written by someone who has actually read the books, we might as well enjoy the stupid fun ones.

 

[Umbran]

For aggressive dumbness, I nominate: The Day After Tomorrow. For all the effects budget, the aggressive dumb in this movie knows little bound.

 

[Jhaelen]

For aggressive dumbness, I nominate: The Day After Tomorrow.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean with 'aggressive' dumbness, but "2012" is imho definitely worse (comparing the movies directed by Roland Emmerich). I've never been more bored watching what were supposed to be dramatic action scenes.