Have you never been part of a long time group that decides things by consensus? Banning magic items, spells, and the like is not always an option. Sometimes players argue against those types of changes. Just recently we ended up in a big discussion over Great Weapon Master and Sharpshooter and the impact of both feats on the game. One player refused to allow them to be changed. This isn't a simple, "Find another player." We've been playing with this guy for twenty plus years and we are friends outside of the game as well. It is not an option to "find another player" that will allow you to wield the DM heavy stick.
Well, I've been part of one group that has had a game active since 1985 or so (going from 1Ed to 2Ed to 3.x), @2/3 of which's members have joined a second, larger group around 1998-99. And in that time, it has alway been- regardless of campaign, regardless of system- DM sets the table, players decide whether to eat or not.
Meaning that the DM runs the campaign he wants with the rules he wants, and the players play in the games they want. We've had campaigns run where one or more player sat out the entire run- some, more than a year. Because we're adults, we can handle it. It isn't personal if nobody wants to play the game you like, nor if everyone but you is playing in a game you don't. There are no hostages: nobody is forcing anyone to run or play a game they don't like.
We've had campaigns that only the GM wanted to run that didn't get run, so something else by someBODY else got run instead. (And most of the guys in the group HAVE run games for the group.)
Only half of the big group played in the year+ long 4Ed group. A similar number tried my Mutants & Masterminds game that lasted 4 months. Another guy's 3.5 game lasted @6 sessions. Nobody was interested in my fantasy campaign set in the worlds of the M:tG game after I revealed I'd be using HERO.
No game has had 100% participation.
If nobody has an active game/campaign idea people want to play, out come the boardgames like Arkham Asylum. Or poker. Or movie night. Or a dinner party.
All of which means:
You can tell me until your blue in the face that "DM can do what he want." It isn't the case. Players get to pick a DM they enjoy as well and usually do have some say over what rules will be used, especially in long time groups.
Your experience and mine clearly differ.