And I think your answer is silly. You are absolutely asking for too many toys. Because you are missing the fact of what "you" means. Not the personal "you", the general "you". The various hardline warlord advocates here all asking for certain things. To each of (the general) you these things are "essential toys". Unless it's all included, there will be rioting in the streets by some of (the general) you. So the class will have it all. It's the only way to please (the general) you. And in doing so, the Kitchen Sinker will be a disaster.
The "essentials" (this is all IMO) are broad category stuff. The discard-able stuff is discrete implementations.
For me, W must have as essentials:
A) Some way to handle incoming damage.
B) Some way to improve teammates' performance.
C) Some way to grant/gift/transfer actions.
This is why Mearls et al have responded (when asked where's the warlord) "Have you tried BM Fighter or Valor Bard?"
I have tried both. But they both have A B & C as add-ons to being a fighter or bard. A proper W has A B & C as its core function. They belong in a prominent spot like multi-attacks for fighter and songs/spells for bard - not as tacked-on things.
Now what can I live without? Lots of stuff. In fact, I'm not super-picky about how we do A B & C. If non-magical Inspiring HP recovery is a problem, I'm happy to jettison it for something else. Like field-medic care using healing kit. (Maybe a fast-hands type of deal when doing the healing kit action that restores HP).
If there's a problem RP-wise with some kind of perceived team hierarchy, I'm down with changing the flavor text so we don't have that issue. I don't want to impose a team heirarchy or play W bc I want to be in charge. I want to do B & C. It doesn't have to be "commands and orders" though.