Even take the idea of targeting. If a creature has three attacks, if it focuses on one PC it will be far more effective than if it spreads its attacks.
Is it fudging to spread attacks?
Well, I'm not sure I would specifically call it fudging. But it's another of the many related DM tools available for altering the course and difficulty of events. Adding another creature, removing creatures, modifying the hit points of creatures, having a fateful event, like something related to terrain, weather, etc. that wasn't pre-planned, all of these can have an impact, and some are visible to the players and characters, others are not. Which is another example of why the DM fudging doesn't bother me.
Think of it this way, when fudging, the DM doesn't necessarily alter the course of events, instead, they are altering the degree. In my example of the bear attack, there was no alteration of whether the characters could detect the bear or vice versa. The chance that the bear would hit, as well as the characters hitting the bear didn't change. The only thing that changed is that they bear couldn't score a critical hit.
But think about this - nobody cared that I had the bear hit with one claw attack and not use its bite, then immediately turn and run. I did that in part because I thought it was realistic. But that had a greater effect on the amount of the damage the bear could cause, since it was more than 50% likely that the bear would hit with any attack, and thus deal more damage. But the idea that I removed a 5% chance of it scoring a critical is something that seems to bother people more.
With all of that, it still comes back to my own personal connection to my character and their accomplishments doesn't hinge on every die roll, or any specific die roll. Sure, a single die roll can have a major effect, and the dice themselves are a lot of fun - even after 30+ years, a 20 is still exciting. But it's still a fleeting and passing thing.
I will say that I do get the argument that fudging is perhaps a 'lazy' way out, and that a good DM can avoid using it altogether. Of course it's also possible for a DM to just decide not to use it and have to find alternatives. Those are reasonable arguments, and as I've said, if the players don't want me to fudge as a DM then I can do that.
But, I make mistakes. Sometimes I'm not prepared - not just by having things all ready for the session, but my brain is not running optimally. Life happens, and sometimes I'm just not at the top of my game. Having fudging as an option to fix a boneheaded mistake is much less disruptive than many of the other options, particularly those that break the flow of the game and the story. If the players really want to know, I'm happy to say something after the session, just so they know. I don't subscribe to the idea that it must remain secretive, although in the moment I think it can be more effective that way.
When I sit down at the table, my expectations of the DM is that they will run a great game. I'm not that concerned about balance, being 'fair' and things like that. I'm there to play my character to the best of my ability, and that includes reacting to whatever comes my way. I want the rules and the 'game' part of the game to be a secondary part of the evening. They are there to help us to form a plausible story. That a given die roll is modified by a couple of points doesn't really have an impact in my mind in that plausibility. I do like the rules, and I don't want to play a free-form improv story-telling game. But I don't want the rules to be the focus of the game.
Unless it's a bad DM, my focus is on my character, the world, the other characters, and what's going on. I let the DM worry about being DM, and to do what they feel is appropriate at the time to make the game enjoyable for all of us. And a DM who obviously fudges, and does so often, would be a bad DM to me. Not necessarily because they are changing the odds, but because their manipulation of it has become obvious, and brought attention to the mechanics of the game, rather than on the game and story.
Yes, allowing the DM to fudge puts more control in their hands. I'm OK with that, as long as they don't abuse it. I'm there to play in their world, and inhabit their vision. If that's what they feel they need to do to make that work, so be it.
Ilbranteloth