You can’t possibly be a jerk; you went to law school.
See, a long time ago, when I was still learning to be a lawyer, I read these books with my fellow pre-lawyers.* These books had collections of “cases” in them from which we could draw our own, wrong, conclusions.
And one judge kept popping up. Judge Learned Hand. So when a classmate asked me about Judge Learned Hand, I told my classmate that “Learned Hand” was a name that judges used when they didn’t want to write their own names on opinions, just like directors would use Alan Smithee in Hollywood when they didn't want their actual names used. Because who has a name like Learned Hand? I assumed my colleague knew that I was having what I colloquially referred to as “the fun,” until my classmate then went on to law-splain that concept to other students, and then to the professor after class.
We all learned a valuable lesson that day. My fellow classmate learned that Judge Learned Hand did, in fact, exist, while I learned that the joy you receive from the misery of others was the best joy that could be had; truly, why else would you go to law school? When people tell you that the purpose of law school is to teach you to think like a lawyer ... that's exactly what they mean.
But you are correct. I am not a jerk! I have a special purpose!
*Fun fact- the song "Baby Shark" is actually named after law students!
