Let them go?

[Icharbezol]

Here's my gaming group quandary.

I'm running Shadowrun 5e and have been trying to bring that campaign to a satisfying close before a break for another game. I was planning on running D&D 5e, but I'm not where I wanted to close with SR nor am I ready with the D&D campaign yet.

Yet half my gaming group is apparently ready to quit SR, and rather than talking to me about their desire to play D&D instead of SR, three of the players decided to have a conversation about basically shunting me into Dungeon Master mode by derailing the SR campaign and providing non-participation at the table.

I guess up until this point I had known that one fellow in the group wasn't as interested in SR as he was in D&D, but was not thinking he would be deciding to try to stage a coup or something. We've been on the current campaign for seven months and he only really started to show complete "I don't want to play this anymore" disinterest about a month ago. It was discussed, he offered to sit out the rest of the campaign but then rescinded because he wanted to play with the group. And now after a shared trip with two others in the group, suddenly they also are not wanting to play SR anymore when they haven't ever expressed anything of that nature to me.

I would not have known about all of this if he hadn't approached another player, who happens to be my girlfriend (who is also a huge fan of SR). She advised me that he'd told her SR would never be played at this table again.

For this guy's birthday, I decided we would go ahead and start character builds for D&D instead of running SR for the night and let everyone know that we are not done with SR just breaking for a night. He also brought his young teen son to the an adult game and lets him plop out a dice bag without even asking the rest of the group about how they feel about that and if the kid can join in. After I bring up that our games and discussions tend to be adult oriented and I wouldn't have my own kid a year younger at our table,XI let everyone talk it out and got majority saying let the kid play, but I'm iffy on this and so is my girl. Kid is really immature.

From here on out I am pretty much in a position I do not want to be in. I am not over fond of confrontation within what amounts to a social group of people I considered friends, but at the same time I feel like this guy is flexing his Alpha at me or something and trying to dictate what I will and will not bring to the table and who will be a part of this circle.

Mainly what I am looking for are any suggestions on how to handle this confrontation when it occurs, because I know it will happen. Should I even attempt any further conversation when this guy isn't even willing to talk to me as I asked in the beginning? Is diplomacy even called for here since it's clear this guy is willing to go behind my back to force my hand into doing what he wants me to in some kind of high school cliquish power play, or should I just cut my losses here and tell him to gtfo?

 

[ccs]

Just confront the problem head on at your next session.
You don't need to be rude about it, just direct to the points.
And inform the group that the kid is not welcome in games you run.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

Tackling it head on in a calm (ideally) discussion is the way to go. Bringing anyone to a game without asking is a social no-no.

What I would say is that you're working to close Shadowrun down, but want to do it in a satisfying way. And that you are likewise happy to start a D&D 5e campaign, but are not ready yet. I'd also tell them that we can start a D&D campaign, but they have the choice of doing so now and getting a poorer game, or waiting until you're ready and getting a better game. If you can give them a timeframe, that also might help.

They could very well call you on it and say "we want the bad D&D game now," but taking a high road seems best. The other possibility is that the dude and/or his clique just walks. If that happens, that's rough, but not something you can't recover from.

Not going to lie, in your shoes, my first response would be a whole lot of anger. But I'm also sure my wife would advise me to calm down before talking it over with the group.

 

[innerdude]

First --- Clearly more than half the group isn't interested in finishing the Shadowrun campaign. Totally their prerogative. If they're really that dead set against finishing the SR campaign, why try and force it on them?

Yeah, it's always nice when a campaign comes to a "satisfying" conclusion . . . but if they're done, they're done, and it's usually a good idea to respect that. Take the high road here. If finishing the Shadowrun campaign is more important than respecting what the players want, that's fine; just understand that it's a choice, and you'll have to deal with the consequences accordingly. I'm not saying either "yea" or "nay" is bad, that's between you and your players.

Second---Regardless, going forward I think the right approach is (as suggested) to have a very frank, open dialogue with the group about what everybody wants. As a GM, I've always tried to take it from the approach that we're all getting together to have fun, and if some people aren't having fun then we either need to figure out what's wrong with the group dynamic so that it will be fun, or the group may need to assess who actually wants to be in it.

The most important thing is to be totally transparent in what your expectations are. If there are certain things you'd really like to get out of your time together, make that known. It's absolutely critical that everyone in the group make an informed decision about how they want to spend their time. Showing that you, as GM, actually care about how they're spending their time, and genuinely be interested in helping them have fun goes a long way.

Try to be positive and build on what everyone has in common, but also recognize the differences, and don't diminish those differences if there's a real conflict between expectations. There's no reason you should have to put up with passive-aggressive interactions that haven't even been addressed at you directly, but at your girlfriend. If they have a problem, they should come to you.

But likewise, your players aren't obligated to put up with playing a game they're not interested in just because YOU want to finish out the SR campaign "in style."

I think you'll find that simply being honest and forthright with people is utterly refreshing, both to you and to them. You don't have to play guessing games, or deal with the awkwardness of not knowing what people are thinking.

And if you aren't able to have real, genuine conversations like this with your gaming group that are productive and positive, then you're gaming with the wrong people in the first place, and everything else in this post is null and void.

 

[Grogg of the North]

If you do switch from SR to D&D, keep your SR notes. You never know when the group, months later, may say that they want to switch back or finish it.

Sometimes you just need a breather.

 

[DM Howard]

Honestly, I would ask for one or two more sessions of SR to wrap up the campaign. Then I would very politely ask who would like to run the D&D campaign. You shouldn't be forced to run something you aren't ready to run, but the players shouldn't be forced to continue to play SR either. The kid thing is what it is, and if the group majority is fine with it than I don't see much you can do on that point, but that doesn't mean you have to DM for the kid.

 

[kalil]

You can pass this along to your group from me: "You are a bunch of needy morons. If you spent half as much time solving problems as you do whining about them there would be none left to solve!".

Think that could work?

 

[TarionzCousin]

Sometimes you just need a breather.

I agree.

If I were you, I would tell them you need a break and one of them can run a game for a few months. In fact, I've done that recently.

 

[Gilladian]

I would close the shadow run game down; take one more session and find a conclusion of sorts. THEN explain that you're not ready to run your DND game, nor will you run it for a child. They have a few choices - one of them can run a game, you can all play board games for a few weeks, or the game can go on hiatus until you are ready. Up to them. But make it clear that your game is a child-free zone, and will remain that way. They can't force you to do what you don't want to do.

 

[Psikerlord#]

I would wrap up the SR game next session, then ask who is DMing the 5e game, coz you want a turn being a player. And see if you enjoy that better.