I find limitations/variations are interesting when one is making character creation choices.
The difference between playing a halfling who might get submerged in the sewers, given his hight - but might be less spotted as opposed to a half-orc who will have no issues within the sewers but will be evidently noticable.
Same with the difference between playing a female and male character in a predominantly patriarchal or matriarchal setting and the challenges/misconceptions that may come into play. So now we just add a limitation/variation in abilities and other dynamics may come into play.
If everyone is stock standard - moves 30 feet, same ability limitations, same knowledge, same skills - I find that less interesting. I find choice should matter. It matters in race, it matters in class, it matters in backgrounds, it matters in the mico-elements of the character creation (feats or stat boost, skill selection, subclass choice) - why is it so difficult to fathom that it should matter when it comes to selecting one character's sex?
First - I don't think we're talking about your homebrew patriarchal/matriarchal society; we're talking about magic elfland (aka Forgotten Realms for 5e), the game's default setting.
Choices already matter - you listed quite a few of them. There are a few reasons a character's biological sex is different than the rest of those. First, races & classes are not real things. Second, it explicitly channels male and female characters into stereotypical roles that may not have a basis in magic elfland. Third, it sends a message to women players about what's important enough to model in the game-world. Fourth, if you are representing the difference between entirely different species with a +1 or +2 here or there, sexual dimorphism isn't on the charts. Fifth, you're talking about individual PCs' stats, not an entire population, so averages are irrelevant. Sixth, a +1 or -1 to a stat here or there isn't actually interesting at all compared to any of those other things you mentioned (valuable, but not interesting).
So can my male dragonborn give birth to an elf? Suspension of disbelief right?
Hey, this is D&D, the game where humans can interbreed with magical fantasy non-humans of completely different species. And dragons, last I checked, can interbreed with basically anything. So I guess if your dragonborn and an elf got together, it'd be up to you to figure out what would happen?
Besides, you're missing the point. If you want to say "
this is too far," that's a line you've decided to draw. You're saying "nope, this is too silly." And yeah, saying "strong player character women is too silly" is a statement.