Absolutely agree that there is not just one true way! I play both ways depending on the group and the story we are trying to tell.
I brought up the team sport perspective because it is so different than the expectation that is the preference when playing a RPG. In any team sport, there is an expectation that some players on the team will contribute at a much higher level than other players, but that all members of the team are important to achieving the goal of winning. Additionally, there is no expectation that the rules of play will make the contest balanced between sides. And yet even on a team where I am not the best player and we get trounced by a team that is far superior, I still have fun because of the experience of playing with my team mates and doing something I enjoy.
I was curious as to why that experience doesn't translate to more RPG tables, and theorized that it's due largely to the nature of the genre itself, which tends towards stories of achievement by a special individual rather than a group, through the exertion of will over the environment (which also helps to explain why optimization is very popular in RPGs as well). And I enjoy being a part of that kind of story! I'm running that type of game in my homebrew, because the players prefer that Avengers Assemble type of dynamic and the story we are telling is one where each PCs was recruited to the cause due to their talent.
But I also enjoy the unique story and challenge that is created through random generation, where the party may have to protect it's weakest member, or the weaker members may have to protect it's strongest who constantly attracts the attention of the most deadly foes. Or simply the challenge of rising above what the character was "born" into to achieve great things as part of a larger team all trying to do the same.
I can only speak for myself and my wife (since we've discussed this a lot), it's just that we have a different perspective.
I don't need or want to be the star of the group. I don't need or want to be the "best". But I don't want to be the worst either.
While I share the story with a group, it is still in some ways my character will always be the hero of my story; hopefully as part of a team. When I DM I try to make sure the spotlight shifts from person to person, giving everyone a chance to shine. Sometimes they shine by blowing up the bad guys, sometimes they shine by keeping others alive, sometimes it's because they talk the group out of a sticky situation.
But if you have 2 PCs where one is
always outshining the other, it gets old. Joe rolled amazingly well and now has a super stud character. He's good at combat and the best for picking locks and the has the best diplomacy and bluff as well. Bob rolled poorly so he doesn't contribute as much in or out of combat.
Yes, I can force the spotlight onto Bob, but it would be artificial. If Joe is there, he
should be the one trying to convince the guards that these are not the warforged they are looking for because he has the best chance of succeeding. We can jump up and down and cheer when Bob rolls a 20 and Steve rolls a 1 but everybody knows it's the equivalent of a trophy for just showing up.
In addition, I plan on playing my PC for a long time. My wife's campaign is ending after 3 years, I've been running a campaign for 2 (it is getting close to wrapping up soon as well). I also think a lot about my character before the campaign starts. Because my wife's campaign is ending I already know who my next character is, even if I don't know exactly what class he is yet (paladin? fighter? subclass from Xanathar's Guide?). But I know his backstory, his motivation, his relationship to some other members of the team. I'm sure our new DM has some plans based on his background.
I guess I'm just trying to say that I don't want to play a random PC. I want to play Tormod the warrior fleeing from his pirate king father seeking refuge with his long lost cousin. One day he will be one of the best warriors in the land and on that day he will confront his father and make him pay for his sins.
I'm playing the hero of my story. Just like everyone else in the group. I want my chance to shine while letting others shine as well. You may enjoy playing Chuck the Waterboy who didn't make the cut to be on the pro sports team, but I want to be on the field.
Neither way is right or wrong. I accept you have fun, but saying I just don't understand your version of fun is implying that I'm playing the game wrong.
That's what I have a problem with.