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Help me gather data for a stupid post

I feel like I should apologize for contributing only jokes, but it's because I know nothing about the Zodiac, and so I have nothing to contribute except jokes.
 

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I feel like I should apologize for contributing only jokes, but it's because I know nothing about the Zodiac, and so I have nothing to contribute except jokes.
Well, to be fair, a thread isn't really a fully functional thread until someone has made fun of Lowkey. :)
 

Dwarf: Cancer. I guess they both wear armor? And dwarves are kinda crabby? And for some reason I always think of crabs as greedy. Maybe too much Moana influence.
Dragonborn: Libra. The scales of justice!
Elf: Sagittarius. The archer. Because Legolas.
Firbolg: Aquarius. The water-bearer is a nice image for the peaceful firbolg. Also they seem kinda New-Agey, and the Age of Aquarius and all that.
Gnome: Capricorn. The water goat? WTF is a water goat? This thing never made any sense. Gnomes can have it; they like jokes, right?
Half-Elf: Gemini. They are of two worlds.
Half-Orc: Taurus. Big and strong. Bull's strength. Charge!
Halfling: Scorpio. Because some of them have a nasty Sting! ...Get it?
Human: Virgo. She's, like, just a person. No bow and arrow, no jug of water...
Tabaxi: Leo. Of course.
Tiefling: Aries. Of course.
Tortle: Pisces. Well, they are both scaly aquatic creatures, and that's something, right?



Barbarian: Taurus. See "half-orc."
Bard: Pisces. Honestly, I just left bard until last and Pisces was all that was left. Fish are cool though, right? They're shiny and they move around a lot and some of them can sing. I think. Maybe that's whales though.
Cleric: Capricorn. OK, so the classes aren't going as well as the races. This sea-goat thing is kinda mystical, and that makes total sense, honest.
Druid: Leo. I dunno, I guess it's a better Wild Shape option than "sea goat."
Fighter: Aries. I think I got confused because the survey said "Ares," as in the god of war, which would have been pretty obvious.
Monk: Aquarius. Yes! Because in the monastery where you trained, you had to balance jugs of water on your head, or fetch water from the well using two buckets on either end of a stick that you would put over your shoulder, like Raiden in the Mortal Combat movie. It totally works.
Paladin: Libra. See "dragonborn."
Ranger: Sagittarius. Of course. This one actually works. Good thing rangers don't automatically specialize in two-weapon fighting any more.
Rogue: Scorpio. Because some of them have a nasty Sting! Well, the burglars do, anyway. And the assassins, they use poison. It's close enough.
Sorcerer: Virgo. I feel like this one makes sense but I'm not sure why. I guess maybe because the sorcerer is "pure" magic, and virgins are pure? That's pretty weak, honestly.
Warlock: Gemini. Because the patron is sort of like a second character; the warlock is conjoined to the patron. They're best buddies! Together forever, just the two of them!
Wizard: Cancer. I give up.
 

I know little about Astrology but thought this was a bit of fun!

Barbarians - Ares impatient
Druid - Natural BALANCE Libra
Fighters - are Taurus persistent
Paladin - Cancer is a protective, securing sign
Rogue - Deadly sneak Attack - Scorpio
Warlock - Gemini pact with another
Cleric - Pisces is a helpful Astrological sign
Bards - Sagittarius is Inspiring.
Wizard - Capricorn's are planners; picking spells for any situation
Sorcerer - Leo - creative (sorcery points)

Rangers- Aquarius is a Humanitarian Astrological sign
Monks - Virgo - Discering (nothing else left)
 

There's another trait often used to group the signs, which are the properties of Cardinal, Fixed, and Mutable. (Roughly, initiation, purpose, and change). Putting the classes together based on these groups leads to some interesting (and surprisingly synergistic) parties!

Cardinal (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) - Paladin, Cleric, Bard, Rogue.

Fixed (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) - Fighter, Sorcerer, Monk, Warlock.

Mutable (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces) - Wizard, Ranger, Barbarian, Druid.
 

Follow up with results.

It's SCIENTIFIC!!* Based on a Large Survey!** Results very definitive***

[TABLE="class: grid, width: 500, align: left"]
[TR]
[TD]Sign[/TD]
[TD]Race[/TD]
[TD]Class[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Ares[/TD]
[TD]Tiefling[/TD]
[TD]Barbarian[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Taurus[/TD]
[TD]Dwarf[/TD]
[TD]Fighter[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Gemini[/TD]
[TD]Half Elf[/TD]
[TD]Bard[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Cancer[/TD]
[TD]Human[/TD]
[TD]Warlock[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Leo[/TD]
[TD]Tabaxi[/TD]
[TD]Druid[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Virgo[/TD]
[TD]Gnome[/TD]
[TD]Cleric[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Libra[/TD]
[TD]Firbolg[/TD]
[TD]Paladin[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Scorpio[/TD]
[TD]Half Orc[/TD]
[TD]Rogue[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Sagittarius[/TD]
[TD]Elf[/TD]
[TD]Ranger[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Capricorn[/TD]
[TD]Dragonborn[/TD]
[TD]Monk[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Aquarius[/TD]
[TD]Halfling[/TD]
[TD]Sorcerer[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Pisces[/TD]
[TD]Tortle[/TD]
[TD]Wizard[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]


Method: on each array, I noted the most popular answers on both axis (i.e. the most popular answer for Tabaxi was Leo, the most popular answer for Taurus was Dwarf) in cases where these matched up (Tabaxi was Leo and Leo was Tabaxi) that answer was accepted. In cases where there was conflict (Ares was Tiefling, but Tiefling was Scorpio) choices were compared to all possible unassigned options. The race/sign combo or class/sign combo with the most points were assigned, till the options were used up.
In Classes, Druid-Leo and Cancer-Warlock were "Weak" correlations. All other class sign pairs were mutual highests (i.e. Gemini had the most Bard votes and Bard had the most Gemini votes)
Races were less well defined. Dragonborn, Firbolg, Halfling, and Tiefling were "Weak" correlations. Tortle actually won both Pisces and Aquarius, it's assignment to Pisces was based on the fact that it had close contenders on Aquarius but not on Pisces. The remaining 7 races were "Strong" correlations.

ENJOY!
(Usage: do a FULL astrological work-up, your Moon sign is your race, your Ascendant Sign is your class)


*Not actually scientific at all
** Sample size was 16, and statistically insignificant
*** about a third of the results where forced to fill the grid
 


(pssst... what’s a moon sign and an ascendant sign?)
Your moon sign is the sign (or slice of the sky associated with the zodiac sign, each one gets a 30 degree portion) that the moon is in when you're born, and is generally associated with emotional needs.

The ascendant is the sign that is on the horizon at your time of birth, and you'd generally need to figure that out with software, or have a very good reference book. It's generally associated with how you interact with others, and how you present yourself.
 

Got it. I don’t know the exact time of my birth, so my class could be wrong but I think I’d be a half-orc Warlock by that method.

I think most people would find sun sign race + moon sign class easier. By that method, I’d be a Tortle Rogue, which is a pretty entertaining combination.
 

Into the Woods

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