D&D General Stocking libraries - a brainstorming thread

[Eltab]

187 The Word of Bane (or other deity)
188 Killing __ (insert folk hero's name here)
189 Musical Scores (owner is a bard)
190 Practicing Rhabdomancy (means finding water with a forked stick)
191 Goodnight Moons and other childrens' stories
192 Basic Kobold (language translator and dictionary)
193 One-Dragon Ante: Solitaire
194 The True History of Cyric (but Cyric is the god of lies)
195 untitled book that is a bunch of notes not an organized text
196 Secret Path to Wealth (fake book with secret compartment holding gems)
197 1001 Bad Puns and Silly Limericks
198 This Glyph Means "Explosive Runes"!
199 the Glyph of Warding on the cover really is an Explosive Rune
200 The Clockwork Chime Of Midnight (murder mystery)

 

[Ogre Mage]

201. The Tymora's Luck Club
202. Murder on the Lightning Rail Express
203. The Nymphmaid's Tale
204. Invisible Stalker
205. Waiting for Akadi to Exhale
206. Passage to Evermeet
207. The Warlock of Undermountain (a Fighting Fantasy gamebook)
208. The Mystery of Shar's Rock (a choose your own adventure book)
209. 100 Years of Sphinxes
210. Crazy Rich Waterdavians

 

[Bohandas]

211.) Goodnight Death Asteroid
212.) The Stealing Tree
213.) Prayer For An Old Person
214.) The Very Poisonous Caterpiller
EDIT:
215.) The Book of Transfinite Numbers
216.) The Acts of Congress
217.) The Book Of Executioners
EDIT:
218.) Murder On The Kara-Tur Express

 

[tetrasodium]

Here are a bunch I've been collecting into a text file from various sources
One of the canonical satirical works of Kessler, War of the Five Ducks
The Miron Code
Black Hearts and Bloody Hands
Red Hot Iron, White Hot Iron, Cold Black Iron
The Forgotten Continent
The Vampire Slattern Saga
13 Shades of Gray
The Hitcher's Guide to Zilargo
The Flame Delusion
A Brief History of the Planes
All Quiet on the Droaamish Front
7 Cantrips of Highly Destructive Wizards

a bunch of cheap Romances written by an aberration who feeds off of romance and arousal. She lives in Sharn.

The Barbarians body.
Bride of the Bard.
Temptation in Thrane.
Druids in the Night.
Warriors Wedding.
Touch of the Monk.
White hot Paladin Love.
The Ranger in Black.
Romancing the Rogue.
A Sorcerous Affair.
I was loved by a Warlock.
Wizards first Wife.
Illithid love. (As a play on Illicit love.)
Love Conquers All, a How-To Guide for Non-Standard Partnerships.
Briney Lips, Or: How A Handsome Khoravar Sailor Stole My Heart (Unabridged)" complete with a detailed cover drawing of a half-elf sailor with AMAZING abs


Scorpion and Skull - A Study of Drow
Serpentis Fragmentum - The Study of Ancient Xen'drik Serpent Cults


Morolynn's Morticery and Other Uncommon Undead
Accounts from the 3rd Witherstone Expedition.
Trade Laws of the Old Empire
Magebred Hamsters and You.
He Stood Unmoved: A Biography of Bastion.


Naturalist's Guide to Eberron Vol. 1
Lhazaar Lover
Sharn's Hottest Districts
Six Months in Riedra (a travelogue)
Six Months in Riedra (not a travelogue)
Monsters are Mothers

One of the canonical satirical works of Kessler, War of the Five Ducks
The Miron Code
Black Hearts and Bloody Hands
Red Hot Iron, White Hot Iron, Cold Black Iron
The Forgotten Continent
The Vampire Slattern Saga
13 Shades of Gray
The Hitcher's Guide to Zilargo
The Flame Delusion
A Brief History of the Planes
All Quiet on the Droaamish Front
7 Cantrips of Highly Destructive Wizards

A primer for the undead in Karrnath, meant for easing young kids into the idea of older family being undead. "So Grandpa's still coming to holiday dinner."

A double-faced, hand-written pslam-style book: one side is titled, History of Drooamish Intellectuals and signed, "With Love, your Aunt Nellie". Other side is titled, List of Darguuni Pacifists. The sketch-filled margins are a pornographic flip-book.


The qualifying thesis of Nelson Nelsor (ne: the Zilargo Nelsors) for formal acceptance into The Trust entitled:
The Effects of Geography & Giganomics on Ahistorical Factors pertaining to the Five Nations & Lesser Powers, from their Origins down to the Present Day.
It is 22 1/2" by 16", weighs 18 pounds, and is over 800 pages long in its current form. It is periodically updated with new pages, revisions, and petulantly thick over-writing by low ranking grad-scholars.
These expensive editions are magically linked to a master copy which allows them to be updated in real-time. The book is able to automatically recycle fabric & paper, converting those materials into newly updated pages.
A side-effect of updates is that the book will consume other books, scrolls, sleeves, blouses, even skirt or pant fronts if the book is being held in the lap at the time of an update. Spell books & scrolls may inadvertently release their spell effects while being consumed.
The book is widely-considered to be the most obnoxiously tedious expression of writing in any language. It is unclear how traveling thesis sales-gnomes have been so successful in disseminating the book throughout every respectable library in Khorvairre, but the rumors that it contains cypher keys to the code languages of many intelligence agencies are thoroughly definitely probably specious.

 

[Coroc]

Stop it I am dying from laughing on this side of the screen

 

[Quickleaf]

Pride and Pegasus: On the territorial habits of griffon prides and pegasi herds

 

[Bohandas]

I think we're on number 263, if I parsed tetrasodium's list correctly and not counting the part that appeared twice

263.)The Rhombicuboctahedron Texts
264.) The Nag Me All Day Codex
265.) The Red Book of Herring
266.) The Epic of Gilligan
267.) The Iodized Psalter
268.) The Joy of Cooking People
269.) Flying Carpets From Outer Space
270.) Ars Goatse
271.) The Hero With 1000 Feces
272.) The Inferno Lost
273.) The Inferno Regained
274.) The Phonebook of the Dead
275.) Fear and Loathing in Lost Continents
276.) The Rime of The Ancient Marinade
277.) The Telltale Colon
278.) Fantastically Evil Beasts and Where to Find Them
279.) Harmonicas of the World (Harmonicas Mundi)
280.) On The Nature of Air Smithing (De Re Aerosmith)
281.) On the Mundanity of the World (De Mundi Mundane)
282.) Regarding All Colleges (De University Universitate)
283.) The Linen Book of Linens
284.) The Book of the Prophet Jose
285.) The Encyclopedia Satannica
286.) The Divine Oscarbait Drama
287.) The Song of Rolex
288.) The Divine Opera
289.) The IMRAD Edda
290.) The Art of Courtney Love
291.) The Summa of Ludacris
292.) The Book of Banal Prayer
293.) The Tale of Dan Cain's Campaign
294.) Diegetics [sic]
295.) A Short History of Dwarven Philosophy
296.) The Acts of Gods
297.) The Nudnik Manuscript
298.) Magnificent Mansions of the Rich and Famous
299.) The Volume of Not Letting the Heart of a Man Be Snatched Away From Him In A Bar Somewhere
300.) The Affirmative Denial
301.) The Lesser Key of Imagination
302.) The Final Folio
303.) The Annals of Salisbury Steak
304.) Vast Active Living Ignorance System
305.) The Book of Terry the Contender
306.) The Coronation of Louie the Ape
307.) The Searing Catalog
308.) The Opiate Diagrams
309.) The Prey Codex
310.) A Song of Fire and More Fire
311.) Their Eyes Were Watching A Play About Talking Animals
312.) Book to the Illuminati, In Praise of the New Order
313.) The Book of Juggalos
314.) Yuengling Saga
315.) The Nun's Priest's Father's Brother's Nephew's Cousin's Former Roommate's Tale
316.) Radio Free Avalon
317.) How To Eat A Child
318.) The Mimosa Sutra
319.) The Song of Rolaids
320.) The Texmexonomicon
321.) The Law Codex of Vindaloo
(geez a lot of these parodies are cookbooks; there's gotta be a campaign concept in that somewhere)
322.) Quaternion Mathematics in Crop Rotation
323.) The Me-Gusta Codex
324.) The Tales of Count Luchador
325.) The Cantilever Tales
326.) Battlefield Oerth
327.) Fear Of A Dwarf Planet (full score and sheet music)
328.) The Epic of Biomesh
329.) Hot Bodies (a treatise on fire magic containing graphic illustrations of its effects on human targets)

]
330.) The Coloring Book Out of Space (a sinister lovecraftian tome for youngsters

 

[tetrasodium]

I think we're on number 263, if I parsed tetrasodium's list correctly and not counting the part that appeared twice

I'm pretty sure that the vast majority (90%+) of my list was taken from discussions like this for those times it might come in useful & wouldn't be surprised it lots of it was duplicated. I think there is also a page or so of various plays somewhere in rising but not sure where

 

[mrpopstar]

Yes to this thread!

Perusing your local library's catalog will present an exhaustive list of titling inspiration. Sort by genre to stock shelves applicable to the collection's owner. For example, a noble lord might be well-served by having histories and biographies define his holdings whereas a collection of arcane tomes might predominantly feature science and nature materials.

Boston Public Library makes it easy: Books

 

[jasper]

331 Orc and pie 300 receipes
332 Bubbles and squeak and 101 swamp dishes
333 Blood Sausage 60 receipes for the hungry vampire
334 dead letters or how to kill your victim with no one be the wiser