FrogReaver
The most respectful and polite poster ever
I'm not saying it solves the problem completely. If you have a hack and slash player and a diplomancer, it certainly won't help.
Yea, I think we are on the same page there.
However, I'd say it's less about guessing the right response and more intuiting it. If the DM is forcing the players to guess without any hints to the NPCs personality, they're (IMO) doing it wrong. There should be explicit or implicit information as to what the NPC wants to hear.
I apologize if guess had the wrong connotation. I didn't mean to imply it was necessarily a completely information-less guess. But, what I'm saying is this is the playstyle of treating NPC social interactions as puzzles. Which is fine if your group enjoys that. But for many of us such a style is lacking. We dislike it because we feel it forces our PC's to do something they may not do in order to help with a social situation. Which potentially leaves us basically 3 options, voluntarily sit out the encounter, do what our PC wouldn't do for the good of the group, or do what our PC would do and lose the social encounter for the team. I get why option 3 in your playstyle would come across as bad faith. I'm just coming at this from the position that if we are doing social encounters then they shouldn't put me as a player in that kind of unfun position to begin with.
The player can most certainly help as well as hinder. If you stroke the ego of the egomaniacal overlord, you're probably helping. If you insult him, you're probably hindering the effort. IME, it's typically a matter of using common sense basic social skills to avoid hindering the effort.
See to me that reads: NPC social interactions are puzzles and you can typically solve them this way. But the ultimate implication to me is clear: you can't play your character socially any way I don't agree with, because there is going to be hell to pay if you do.