And yet, you, Abeir-Toril I think, Lanefan definitely. All of you said you would either override the group or leave.
You aren't claiming unilateral authority... but if the players collective decide to not obey your authority, you're out.
And again, in my experience as a DM and as a player, it is the DM going out and recruiting people, not the other way around. One time I had people come to me and ask me to DM. And that was a long time friend whom I had gotten into DnD, but because of scheduling conflicts he had never had me as a DM.
So, you go to them, you want them as players, but if they overrule you, you go and find other players.
Which only means that as DM I want to be somewhat careful when inviting players that the players I invite are likely to be more or less on board with what I'm intending to run, right?
That said, mistakes both long- and short-term inevitably happen on both sides of the screen, and a certain level of tolerance and-or forgiveness is essential.
Or maybe you are confused on the role of a referee.
A referee in football doesn't make the rules. They don't chose the teams of players, they don't decide how the stadium is designed. They are only there to settle rules disputes.
More than that, the referee is there to
enforce the rules and - in at least hockey and soccer-football - is noted in the rules as being in complete charge of that game.
At the far end of the spectrum, perhaps a position no in this thread is actually taking but we have to be aware of it, the DM controls nearly every aspect of the game. Location you meet, time you meet, who you are playing with, all of it.
The DM has to have some control or greater say over when you meet, if not where, as if the DM can't be there there's no game. In contrast, when a player can't make it the game can still sail.
Further, IME the DM is almost invariably also the host; mostly for practical reasons: nearly all the materials* for that game are at the DM's residence and to carry that stuff around every week soon becomes a nuisance.
* - over a long campaign this can build up to a rather impressive amount of stuff. That said, putting some of the game materials online has reduced the need-to-carry slightly - probably by about half a box.
You really needed to read my post more closely then. Some of the people I have been responding to have immediately gone towards various ways of cheating. The example that brought me into this thread was that if the players had equal authority to the DM, the player wold simply declare that they have the key that unlocks the door ahead of them and unlock it. That came from Charlaquin.
Oofta has quite often in this thread talked about a player demanding that they run so fast they create a tornado. Or a character who was so intimidating that everyone was immediately scared of them no matter what. Or a player who made sure the number they wanted was on top and then dropped their oversized d20 so it landed on the value they wanted.
Yes, neither of these would fly here.
Jack Daniel asked if we were okay with the players memorizing monster stats, something many older DMs would view as cheating.
Including me.
At one point, I believe in the other thread, the idea of players having some control got taken to the point of them declaring themselves immune to damage, and refusing to change their hp.
Taking your word here, as I didn't follow this other thread. Still, that's pretty over-the-top.
Seeking to change the rules to be more favorable to the players? Purposefully looking for loopholes that are clearly not intended for the sake of eking out an advantage? How are those much different? I guess they aren't "Breaking the rules" but they are clearly doing things they and the DM both know they are not supposed to do.
If they're not breaking the rules then how are they doing something they know they're not supposed to do?
Hell, I'm no powergamer by any stretch but if I stumble over an exploit in the rules that works to my advantage I'm going to use it till the DM tells me to stop.