Ah, your level of condescension is increasing! Very interesting...
Yeah, look at it again. The DM has the option to impose a check if the situation is difficult or hazardous. Hopefully, your game doesn't limit it to only the two examples provided by the text. Making an 80-foot climb (especially carrying armor, weapons, and/or gear) is
not simple IMO, so I am perfectly within my right as DM to call for a check, even under the
specific rule you seem to love so much.
Here, just for you, you can look at it and love it over and over again:
View attachment 132369
Similarly, gaining any distance while climbing to a great height might require a successful Strength (Athletics) check as well.
There, I am quoting part of your specific section, offering another case where the DM, at their option, could call for a check.