There's a big difference in the way men are written and the way women are written, and it's far more common for women to be written as either desperate for men or hating men then the reverse and having that be the entirety of their purpose--as if women can't be complete without a man.
There are many more male Darklords who don't have backstories revolving around lust for or hatred of women. In the Core: Azalin, Harkon Lukas, Ivan Dilysnia (who desperately loved his sister, but otherwise doesn't seem to care), Hazlik (who doesn't have a background revolving around lust for or hatred of men, either), Tristan ApBlanc, "Death", Vlad Drakov, Adam, Lord Godefrey (who may hate women, but he rather hates everyone), Alfred Timothy, Gwydion the Sorcerer-Fiend (GOO, does it even know what romance is?), Malkin (although I admit his alter ego, Tristan Hiregaard, is cursed to kill any woman he loves, but Malkin himself doesn't care). The God-Brain wasn't interested in women, IIRC, and neither are Yagno Petrovna nor Frantisek Markov.
In the Core, only Strahd, Dominic d'Honraire, and Urik von Kharkov have "desperate for women" as part of their backstory.
But also in the Core, the female Darklords are:
Jacqueline Renier: desperate for love but can't have it without turning into a rat; apparently doesn't want cuddles or sex in rat form.
Ivana Boritsi: desperate for love but can't have it without poisoning the person she touches.
The Three Hags: who really like eating men and who hate women who are prettier then them; i.e., every woman, basically.
Gabrielle Aderre: wants a relationship but is kind of cursed to only have bad relationships and is also cursed to have kids who will harm her in some way.
The Lady of the Lake: wants to torment one specific man.
The only one female Darklords in the Core who don't seem to care about men are Inza--but she's such a terrible Darklord, with no motivation beyond being born evil, that she doesn't even count IMO--and the banshee Tristessa, who's obsessed with her child.
So basically, except for Inza the Crappy, all the female Darklords have men or children as their prime motivation.