Guys... are you for real?
Yes, this is a matter we take very seriously, which is why you’re getting such emotionally charged responses. You’re coming across as the bad guy in the situation, even when we only have your side of the story. I hope if nothing else you at least realize that and reconsider your position.
I came here because in my game I see a potential party-braking problem I need to react to somehow. In a way that is fun, consistent with character and world, and allows us to play together.
Right, so taking your story at face value, those things seem to be in an irreconcilable conflict. Killing the rogue won’t be fun for their player. Letting them get away with it apparently isn’t consistent with the way you see your character. Something has to give, and the question is one of priorities. Either you decide that what’s fun for the group is more important than consistency with the way you imagine your character and don’t kill the rogue, you decide your vision of your character is more important than the rogue’s player’s fun and you do kill the rogue, or you accept that what you want isn’t compatible with what the rest of the group wants and part ways. The advice you’re getting is that the first option is the best, and the third option is obviously not ideal, but it’s better than the second option, which would just be an IRL jerk move.
I know you came hoping to find a “loophole” that would let you satisfy your character’s desire for vengeance without hurting the rogue player’s feelings. But that’s just not going to happen. You’re the one who’s decided your character can’t let this go. Accepting that premise, your only options are to change your character (either by changing how you view them such that letting it go is something he “would do” or by deciding to play a different character), to leave the group, or to kill the rogue, and killing the rogue would be the wrong choice. Those are the only resolutions I can see to the situation you’ve described, sorry if you don’t like it.
Most of your comments here are not solutions or advice, they are just doubting the premise or doubting me. Either you say the issue is IRL and not at the game (I told you it is purely in-game), or you say the issue is not an issue at all and is completely fine (I told you it is a major betrayal, in-game party breaking at the very least),
These two statements are logically inconsistent. If the rogue committed such a major, party-breaking betrayal, it’s an IRL issue, because the rogue’s player is not respecting what’s fun for the group. It certainly seems like it has negatively impacted your fun, if nothing else. The appropriate response is to talk to the rogue’s player about it. And I don’t mean ominously suggesting “watch out, my character is really
VENGEFUL, so you might not want to do that...” I mean telling the rogue’s player straight-up that what they did was not fun for you, as a player, and talk it over like grown-ups.
or that it would be reasonable for the character to forgive and forgot an go on merrily (I told you it is not a possibility at all).
You’re the one who has decided it isn’t a possibility at all. What is or is not reasonable for your character to do is entirely up to you. You can decide to play a character who would let it go, or to play a character who would take revenge. If you decide to play a character who would take revenge, you have, in real life, decided that your vision of the character is more important to you than the rogue player’s enjoyment of the game, and that would make you a jerk.
And you say the character should not be even there (well he is). That is the premise given and that is what we should work with.
I can accept that premise. Given that you have decided it isn’t a possibility for your character to let it go without killing the rogue, it’s also not a possibility to keep playing this character in this group without ruining someone else’s fun, likely causing more hurt feelings and escalating the real life conflict that the rogue’s player started by betraying your character. These are the consequences of your decisions.
You do not know the world, the game, the settings, the players, the characters. And because you do not know all these things, you will have to take my word for it.
So please, kindly, instead of commenting on my "insecurities" or practically calling me a liar, do focus on solving the problem with given parameters instead of doubting and arguing the parameters. (because that would make much sense, coming here asking for advice anonymously and lying in the process because my mind is set anyway, wasting hours of my time and yours).
I’ve given my best advice given the premise: retire your character and either make a new one that plays nicely with others, or find another group. However, I must reiterate that it is within your power to change the premise: no one is forcing you to play the character this way. You can choose to play the character in such a way that would not demand he kill the rogue. The only person stopping you is you.
I got advice I did not like one bit, but I took it. The advice was mostly this
0 - talk to the player, talk to the DM to solve the in game issue, or rule out IRL issue
1 - do not play with that party if they are jerks
2- do not PC kill no matter what, for if there is no IRL issue now, there would be after the PC kill
3 - the wizard is a bad character and should not be there in the first place.
Good advice.
So I started by saying I already did No. 0. As you advised.
You say that, but it seems like your “talking to the player” consisted of vaguely hinting your character might take revenge. That’s not really addressing the issue, that you’re not happy with what their character did to your character. Furthermore, you specifically
avoided telling the other player that you are considering killing their character, for fear that you would give them a meta-game advantage. Instead of making this an in-character vendetta and
hiding your intentions, what you should do is talk openly and honestly about your feelings. Tell them you didn’t like having your character humiliated like that, and be honest about the fact that it made you want to kill their character.
Advice 1 was ruled out, I do want to continue if possible.
So that leaves me with 2 & 3. I took both of these advice. And to remove the "bad and poor" character that "does not play well with others" and to avoid PC kill, I decided to give the wizard to the DM, making him a villain of the story. It was not an easy choice, I really liked the wizard and enjoyed playing him. But hey, you guys here have more experience and I took your advice, hoping it would smooth things over, stay reasonably consistent and be fun in the end.
Good, I’m glad you were at least able to find a solution that didn’t result in escalating any real-life conflict and allowed you to continue playing with your group.