Maxperson
Morkus from Orkus
And untrue!"A longsword does 1d8 damage in the hands of a 1st level newb and a 20th level master swordsman?" Ridiculous!

In the hands of a master swordsman it does up to 8d8+8, depending on how many attacks hit and how many superiority dice are used.
Go see a stage magician perform sometime. People are capable of amazing things like that."A wizard owns a pouch wherein he not only is able to store incredibly small components for dozens of different spells, but also has it so organized that he can also reach in with two fingers and pull a specific one or two out of it at the same time while also saying magic words and intricate hand motions all in less than 6 seconds in order to cast a spell?" Ludicrous!
Druids can't polymorph at all."A newb druid is able to completely polymorph themselves into any animal they want at almost the very beginning of their adventuring career, but wizards haven't be able to figure out a way to do it before they reach 7th level?" Preposterous!
Yes it is, but that's the DM's choice. He doesn't have to run it that way."Elves live for thousands of years, but somehow only gain real power in the few years they go out on the road adventuring next to humans, where they all can go from levels 1 to 20 at the same rate in even a matter of weeks depending on the adventure the DM runs?" Laughable!
Makes perfect sense. When I get tired, I start having recall issues long before I'm physically impacted. First thing to go with me are names of people and places. Then other recall issues. It's not impossible, just more difficult."When a character gets really exhausted... the first thing that becomes more difficult for them to do is recalling magical, religious, historical and nature lore... but things like swordfighting and walking at their normal pace can all be done without any problems whatsoever." Nonsensical!