D&D 5E Help with my 5th level barbarian Lycanthrope

Is the barbarian resisting the Lycanthropy or embracing it?

A lycanthrope can either resist its curse or embrace it. By resisting the curse, a lycanthrope retains its normal alignment and personality while in humanoid form. It lives its life as it always has, burying deep the bestial urges raging inside it. However, when the full moon rises, the curse becomes too strong to resist, transforming the individual into its beast form — or into a horrible hybrid form that combines animal and humanoid traits. When the moon wanes, the beast within can be controlled once again. Especially if the cursed creature is unaware of its condition, it might not remember the events of its transformation, though those memories often haunt a lycanthrope as bloody dreams.

Some individuals see little point in fighting the curse and accept what they are. With time and experience, they learn to master their shapechanging ability and can assume beast form or hybrid form at will. Most lycanthropes that embrace their bestial natures succumb to bloodlust, becoming evil, opportunistic creatures that prey on the weak.
I follow this guidance to the letter and say that a PC needs to be actively trying to resist and end their lycanthropy, or else they lose control of the PC. Even if they are fighting it and seeking that remove curse to end the curse, they are NPCs when transformed.
 

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