I mean rules designed to simulate actual things in the real world as much as is practical, and do the same with fantasy stuff based on a consistent depiction of what that fantasy stuff is. So if I create a town, I want that town to have everything it would make sense for it to have, based on my best understanding of what that would be.
#1) OK, that is a level of simulation I have an interest in, but don't really care about. This has no impact on my enjoyment of the game. It may impact my worldbuilding enjoyment, but it is something that my players never, and I mean never, engage with. Therefor I don't spend much time on it. Though I do find the topic interesting.
If a character is not supposed to be magical, I want them to be no more fantastic than action movie physics allow. And I want to model those people and places as close to reality (or whatever rules have been determined for fantasy elements) as possible.
#2) So this is what I would call "physics simulation." I do want some of this in my game and could accept more than what we currently use (as long as it doesn't impact the fun). This is why we use bloodied hit points, armor with DR, death at 0 BHP, etc. I tinker with these type of rules a lot, but only implement a fraction of them as we homebrew rules as a group, not DM fiat.
5e does not really do that, but Level Up does most of what I want, and I can and do houserule whatever else I need, subject to player buy in.
I feel LevelUp does #1 well, but doesn't really hit my needs with #2. Fortunately, how 5e house rules work for Level Up.
That being said, verisimilitude in worldbuilding matters more to me than PC verisimilitude. That's why my favorite fantasy RPG is actually ACKS. That game care a lot about accurate worldbuilding.
It matters to me from an esoteric design perspective, but not a game perspective. As noted previously, that is just not something my players ever, ever, interact with, so it is usually not worth my time to even tinker with it to much.
To answer your second question, I do run into conflict sometimes. I prefer the game to be fair to both sides, even to my detriment as a PC, and prefer to err that way when necessary.
I think we might have a misunderstanding. I don't see what I was discussing as an issue of fairness at all. However, could just be different viewpoints of the same issues.
), but I can't remember if I ever got it or not. I will have to search around and see if I have it and if not maybe pick it up and check it out.
