Worlds of Design: The Plight of the New RPG—Quality of Writing

Some small publisher/self-published RPG rule sets suffer from poor grammar and syntax. Some RPG creators need someone to edit their writing for quality of communication as well, especially for clarity—rules are no good if the reader cannot understand them.

Some small publisher/self-published RPG rule sets suffer from poor grammar and syntax. Some RPG creators need someone to edit their writing for quality of communication as well, especially for clarity—rules are no good if the reader cannot understand them.

editor.jpg

Picture courtesy of Pixabay.

Your grammar is a reflection of your image. Good or bad, you have made an impression. And like all impressions, you are in total control.” Jeffrey Gitomer

We Need Editors​

I started writing this after reading 15 pages of a nicely presented hardcover RPG that suffered from woefully substandard language.

If you’re a board gamer, you’ve probably read rules that were incomplete and confusing, if not worse. Can you then play the game? No. Many rules in original D&D were like that, but how to play was passed from one group to another, and you had a GM to decide how it was going to work. I recall our group thinking that hold person did something quite different from what was intended, because that’s how the rules read.

At GenCon some years ago I attended a few panel talks about the need for editing of small-scale RPGs. Freelance editing can be fairly expensive: perhaps one cent a word or a little less, depending. (For comparison, writers of RPG materials, who now usually work for hire rather than for royalties, were only paid two to five cents a word last time I checked, unless very experienced and well-known.)

My thought was “I don’t need detailed editing,” and I’ve been writing all my life, but I also benefit from a wife who likes to find any hint of a glitch in what I’ve written. My book “Game Design: How to Create Video and Tabletop Games, Start to Finish” (2012, McFarland, still in print) required no editing for language from McFarland. And I hope “Worlds of Design” rarely requires editing.

But the reality is that everyone can use an editor. For those new to writing, including RPG writing, their experience is probably more like one of my computer networking students: some were very good but most needed a lot of coaching to improve.

What Are You Trying to Say?​

I’m not talking so much about how well the writing conveys what was intended, I’m talking about the details of grammar and syntax. Though there are certainly RPG creators who need someone to edit their writing for quality of communication, especially for clarity—rules are no good if the reader cannot understand or worse, misunderstands them.

You must write for your audience. You don’t want the kind of jargon-filled, turgid, and sometimes deliberately obfuscatory writing common in academic circles, you need to write clearly and concisely in everyday words (I’ve violated my own advice in this sentence, haven’t I?).

Clear Language​

One mark of quality in an RPG is the skill with which language is used. Not everyone is good with language, and many sometimes use words that don’t fit or simply leave things out, or don’t catch incorrect spelling despite the ubiquity of spellcheckers. Unfortunately, the reader with a lot of experience—it’s a matter of experience more than education—encounters a speed bump every time substandard grammar/syntax is used. Those speed bumps detract greatly from the meaning the writer is trying to convey. At worst, the reader will stop reading because it’s too painful, or because it reflects so badly on the writer that the reader assumes what the writer is saying won’t be worth reading.

How important is it to use perfectly standard language in your RPG rules? If you’re doing a low-budget RPG to sell a few hundred copies, perhaps non-standard won’t bother the readers. But if you’re putting your rules in hardcovers and using graphic enhancements (art etc.), then the standard of your language ought to match the standard of your physical presentation. Otherwise you risk putting off too many people in your target market.

If You Can’t Afford an Editor​

Professional editing is expensive for a small publisher/small print runs. What do people do as an alternative?

If there’s someone in or associated with your group (like my wife) who is able and also willing to check your language for free, that’s very good. If you have several reader-playtesters (as novelists do) they might spot and highlight language problems. If you know other RPG creators, perhaps you can swap your services, you read their rules, they read yours. It’s usually easier to spot problems in something you didn’t write, than in something you wrote.

If you’re submitting your rules to a publisher, good writing is even more important. As well-known author Glen Cook (Black Company, Garrett, etc.) said about fiction writing:

A carpenter needs to know how to use a hammer, level, saw, and so forth. You need to know how to use the tools of writing. Because, no, the editor won't fix it up. S/he will just chunk your thing in the $#!+ heap and go on to somebody who can put together an English sentence with an appropriate sprinkle of punctuation marks.

This can just as easily apply to game writing.

Your Turn: How do you ensure your writing is clear and concise?
 

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Lewis Pulsipher

Lewis Pulsipher

Dragon, White Dwarf, Fiend Folio

dragoner

KosmicRPG.com
None of this is easy, I keep an errata doc in the folder with the idea I will go back and fix stuff for a second version. Any time to do that takes time from working on other stuff too though.
 

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talien

Community Supporter
As a professional editor who is married to a professional editor, I can say that the fundamental problem isn't how much editing costs or doesn't cost—it's the fact that no one other than an editor really understands what we do or that there's different types of editing. Most people think we just dot Is and cross Ts, but as others have mentioned it's so much more than that.

Also, there are a lot of different types of editing:
  • Proofreading
  • Copyediting
  • Line editing
  • Developmental editing
  • Manuscript evaluation
  • ...and so forth
I'm married to an editor too, and this right here distinguishes publishers who claim they hire editors (but don't, they ask their friends to read it and then say it was "edited") from those who actually hire professional editing services. Professional editors provide several stages of review as per the above, or even better, different people for each type of edit.

Can your friends help with these? Depending on their skill set, you can probably cover some of them. But probably not all of them: What Are the Different Types of Editing? - Enago
 

aco175

Legend
I tend to give more leeway to a DMsGuild adventure than to a Kickstarter module where I would expect more editing done. A Wizards campaign book should be top marks, but how many edits has there been in the core books when they first come out? Some things still get by, but it does make me question things when I cannot get through a paragraph.
 

niklinna

satisfied?
I'm married to an editor too, and this right here distinguishes publishers who claim they hire editors (but don't, they ask their friends to read it and then say it was "edited") from those who actually hire professional editing services. Professional editors provide several stages of review as per the above, or even better, different people for each type of edit.

Can your friends help with these? Depending on their skill set, you can probably cover some of them. But probably not all of them: What Are the Different Types of Editing? - Enago
That article was pretty informative! But, it could have used an editor. 😉

Even if one person can do more than one kind of editing, they probably can't do more than one kind of editing at a time. Each requires a particular mindset and mental focus, that pretty much precludes really catching and dealing with edits on other levels.
 

Ps the concept of freeware doesn't match my approach as i would really love to have first a printed product and maybe afterwards a free/pwyw pdf... I don't like pdfs (being a collector i have a huge bias on that!)
A poor marketing approach. If getting your product distributed is important, pdfs are essential.

All the more so if English is your second language. As noted above, more is expected of print than df.
 

lewpuls

Hero
Unfortunately, for a long time schools taught that "close is good enough" (for everything, not just language). That attitude results in many errors, and in creators who just don't care about how they write.

Further, some English instructors tell students that being precise and following standards of grammar is unimportant - I've heard profs say just that. Others go to the other extreme, focusing so much on "rules" that they don't recognize how the language changes over time, or how breaking a rule can be effective.
 

Worse than that: you've read it a hundred times, across the time you work on it. This means problems you'd immediately pick out if you read it the first time go right by you.

But in general, RPG products are often under-edited, but then, decent editors aren't cheap.

This happens to both the writer and the editor. You reach a point where you've read the same text so many times, you become blind to the errors (it is isn't even about pride in your writing, it is just this weird thing where you can be looking directly at a glaring typo and not see it). I've noticed after a number of passes the same thing tends to happen to editors too.

Just my two cents here for people to consider. Every publisher is different in the RPG industry (calling it an industry is probably a bit generous too). Obviously big publishers can afford everything. But margins are tight so editors are probably one of the first things to go or get shuffled to friends and family. You do get what you pay for with edits though (your friend or aunt could be a master of language and writing, but if they are doing it as a favor it isn't going to get the same level of intense scrutiny as a person you hired).

I tend to grade books based on what tier in the hobby they are in. More indie publishers, I don't expect as much in terms of editing. But if I see lots of mistakes in a book by a very large RPG publisher then it feels like there wasn't as much care put into things.

As an audience if you want to see more editors the best thing you can do is reward publishers who spend less on art and more on edits. This is kind of the bottom line I think (perhaps not applicable to kickstarted RPGs though as their funding is generated in an entirely different way). People have high expectations around art: they want art every 5 pages or so, they want quality art (preferably color art), they want good cover art, they want NPCs and monsters illuminated, etc. Art is very expensive. Publishers largely are responding to that expectation.

So if you are dealing with a smaller publisher (and most RPG publishers are small), and they know they can't get by having an image every 15 pages, but that a majority of readers are less concerned about editing issues, then they are going to make books like that. If you see a publisher who does the opposite (say only ordering art every 15 pages, but clearly putting the money into edits) and you like their content, then review them, spread the word, compliment them directly. I think people would be surprised how much impact a positive comment sent to a publisher has, in terms of getting them to continue moving in a trajectory you like. This is especially the case for smaller publishers.
 

aia_2

Custom title
I agree with that approach! I have done a specific choice in that sense: no artworks in the playtest edition (if not one at the beginning of every chapter) and proofread by 3 different fellows (they are not editors but long time players, all english native speakers).
Then i will think how to develop the final product (i.e. the real edition after the playtest).
For the time being i got in touch with the author of this book:
...i could ideally start working with this author as the style is exactly what i am looking for!
 

aia_2

Custom title
Unfortunately, for a long time schools taught that "close is good enough" (for everything, not just language). That attitude results in many errors, and in creators who just don't care about how they write.

Further, some English instructors tell students that being precise and following standards of grammar is unimportant - I've heard profs say just that. Others go to the other extreme, focusing so much on "rules" that they don't recognize how the language changes over time, or how breaking a rule can be effective.
Re to this consideration, we're all living in an environment where this way of managing kids is brought to its exetremes...
I invite you all to read the exceptional pamphlet by C.S.Lewis "The abolition of man": you will better get why we are heading towards this direction and what are the consequences of it.
 

MNblockhead

A Title Much Cooler Than Anything on the Old Site
I had a similar experience recently with Kickstarter. I just wish more creators would have a bigger gap between releasing PDFs and printing physical books. Give the hundreds or thousands more people a chance to put eyes on the text and spot mistakes so they can be fixed before going to print. Even books with professional editors need as many eyes as possible. I recently backed a project, got the PDF, and in the first dozen pages spotted about a dozen mistakes. But...the text was already finalized because they'd hired a professional editor and the few passes they did was considered enough. Nope. Still mistakes galore. Inconsistency of word usage, art covering text, simple spelling and grammar mistakes...on and on. It's really disheartening. I was really looking forward to the book. Now I think it was a waste of money. I won't be able to read the physical book I ordered without cringing. Maybe that's the curse of having been an editor. In another, similar incident, a creator put out a PDF of a game riddled with mistakes (editing, formatting, etc). It's a great game. I contacted the creator informally and asked where spotted typos should be submitted...and crickets. Some people don't care. Some people care but can't afford editing. Some people care and can afford some editing. I mean you even have poorly written and poorly edited writing in the World's Most Dominant Roleplaying Game.
EXACTLY!!!

There are some creators who do this. For example, DCC is doing this with their Kickstarted Lanksmar setting. They'll release portions of the book in PDF for backers to review and point out any issues. They have a reporting system to report typos and other errors which is nice because it is easier to manage and avoids some of the concerns with creating "negative press" for your work.

I think one reason this isn't done more is that many backers can become quite toxic if deadlines are not met and if creators set deadlines for too long of a period it discourages backers. Also, some of these same toxic backers can be very nasty when a non-polished version of the content is released for comment.

I am not optimistic that crowd funding editing via Kickstarter will work for many small publishers or single creators. But for established publishers who are already veterans and skilled at project management and can afford good editing teams, it is very helpful to catch minor errors before committing it to print.
 

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