Worlds of Design: The Plight of the New RPG—Quality of Writing

Some small publisher/self-published RPG rule sets suffer from poor grammar and syntax. Some RPG creators need someone to edit their writing for quality of communication as well, especially for clarity—rules are no good if the reader cannot understand them.

editor.jpg

Picture courtesy of Pixabay.

Your grammar is a reflection of your image. Good or bad, you have made an impression. And like all impressions, you are in total control.” Jeffrey Gitomer

We Need Editors​

I started writing this after reading 15 pages of a nicely presented hardcover RPG that suffered from woefully substandard language.

If you’re a board gamer, you’ve probably read rules that were incomplete and confusing, if not worse. Can you then play the game? No. Many rules in original D&D were like that, but how to play was passed from one group to another, and you had a GM to decide how it was going to work. I recall our group thinking that hold person did something quite different from what was intended, because that’s how the rules read.

At GenCon some years ago I attended a few panel talks about the need for editing of small-scale RPGs. Freelance editing can be fairly expensive: perhaps one cent a word or a little less, depending. (For comparison, writers of RPG materials, who now usually work for hire rather than for royalties, were only paid two to five cents a word last time I checked, unless very experienced and well-known.)

My thought was “I don’t need detailed editing,” and I’ve been writing all my life, but I also benefit from a wife who likes to find any hint of a glitch in what I’ve written. My book “Game Design: How to Create Video and Tabletop Games, Start to Finish” (2012, McFarland, still in print) required no editing for language from McFarland. And I hope “Worlds of Design” rarely requires editing.

But the reality is that everyone can use an editor. For those new to writing, including RPG writing, their experience is probably more like one of my computer networking students: some were very good but most needed a lot of coaching to improve.

What Are You Trying to Say?​

I’m not talking so much about how well the writing conveys what was intended, I’m talking about the details of grammar and syntax. Though there are certainly RPG creators who need someone to edit their writing for quality of communication, especially for clarity—rules are no good if the reader cannot understand or worse, misunderstands them.

You must write for your audience. You don’t want the kind of jargon-filled, turgid, and sometimes deliberately obfuscatory writing common in academic circles, you need to write clearly and concisely in everyday words (I’ve violated my own advice in this sentence, haven’t I?).

Clear Language​

One mark of quality in an RPG is the skill with which language is used. Not everyone is good with language, and many sometimes use words that don’t fit or simply leave things out, or don’t catch incorrect spelling despite the ubiquity of spellcheckers. Unfortunately, the reader with a lot of experience—it’s a matter of experience more than education—encounters a speed bump every time substandard grammar/syntax is used. Those speed bumps detract greatly from the meaning the writer is trying to convey. At worst, the reader will stop reading because it’s too painful, or because it reflects so badly on the writer that the reader assumes what the writer is saying won’t be worth reading.

How important is it to use perfectly standard language in your RPG rules? If you’re doing a low-budget RPG to sell a few hundred copies, perhaps non-standard won’t bother the readers. But if you’re putting your rules in hardcovers and using graphic enhancements (art etc.), then the standard of your language ought to match the standard of your physical presentation. Otherwise you risk putting off too many people in your target market.

If You Can’t Afford an Editor​

Professional editing is expensive for a small publisher/small print runs. What do people do as an alternative?

If there’s someone in or associated with your group (like my wife) who is able and also willing to check your language for free, that’s very good. If you have several reader-playtesters (as novelists do) they might spot and highlight language problems. If you know other RPG creators, perhaps you can swap your services, you read their rules, they read yours. It’s usually easier to spot problems in something you didn’t write, than in something you wrote.

If you’re submitting your rules to a publisher, good writing is even more important. As well-known author Glen Cook (Black Company, Garrett, etc.) said about fiction writing:

A carpenter needs to know how to use a hammer, level, saw, and so forth. You need to know how to use the tools of writing. Because, no, the editor won't fix it up. S/he will just chunk your thing in the $#!+ heap and go on to somebody who can put together an English sentence with an appropriate sprinkle of punctuation marks.

This can just as easily apply to game writing.

Your Turn: How do you ensure your writing is clear and concise?
 

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Lewis Pulsipher

Lewis Pulsipher

Dragon, White Dwarf, Fiend Folio

niklinna

satisfied?
At GenCon some years ago I attended a few panel talks about the need for editing of small-scale RPGs. Freelance editing can be fairly expensive: perhaps one cent a word or a little less, depending. (For comparison, writers of RPG materials, who now usually work for hire rather than for royalties, were only paid two to five cents a word last time I checked, unless very experienced and well-known.)
One cent per word is expensive? Also, this reads as if RPG writers are getting paid extravagantly compared to editors! That could well be true, though.

Is the editing rate per word in the final product, the amount given to work on? A healthy part of editing is reducing text bloat. It would be in my interest, if paid per word, to produce more words. (Reminds me of the days of judging software programmers by lines of code produced.)
 

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GuJiaXian

Explorer
As a professional editor who is married to a professional editor, I can say that the fundamental problem isn't how much editing costs or doesn't cost—it's the fact that no one other than an editor really understands what we do or that there's different types of editing. Most people think we just dot Is and cross Ts, but as others have mentioned it's so much more than that.

Also, there are a lot of different types of editing:
  • Proofreading
  • Copyediting
  • Line editing
  • Developmental editing
  • Manuscript evaluation
  • ...and so forth
My wife is 100 percent freelance. She has a number of regular clients and also accepts one-off projects now and then. She charges by the hour, and her rate depends on the type of edit desired. Right now she's working on a line edit for a well-known fantasy author. She charges more for that than, for example, a simple proofread of a manuscript.

Editing is a necessity. Sure, as an editor perhaps I'm (very) biased. However, I can't take seriously content that clearly was never even run through Word's grammar and spell checkers. This is especially true with gaming materials. If your prose is littered with misspelled words and grammatical issues, how can I safely assume that your stat blocks are accurate?

In short, yes, editing costs money. However, it doesn't have to bankrupt you. Shop around and find an editor with rates that match your budget.
 

Dioltach

Legend
@GuJiaXian I always compare editing (and translating, the other part of my job) to things like FX in movies, or picture quality on your television, or any other medium that serves to bring across the information or entertainment that people want to consume. If it's perfect, no-one mentions it, it's only when it's less than perfect that they start to take notice - and complain.

People don't use editors because their point of reference is a high-quality medium. They see a published book without any grammatical or spelling errors, and they assume that's how it was first written. They don't see the time and effort that goes into the editing and proofreading process.

Writing is a bit like cooking: everyone can put words to paper, just like everyone can fry up a sausage or boil a potato. But just like not everyone can cook a meal that people would be willing to pay money for in a restaurant, not everyone can write a text that is fit for publication.
 

GuJiaXian

Explorer
Translation—now there's a tough business. I'm grateful I only work in one language (English). However, I work closely with a very large translation department. Most of my organization's materials end up in a minimum of 30 languages. Many are translated into over 100 languages (with more languages being added regularly). Most people don't understand just how expensive and time consuming translation is!
 

Ulfgeir

Hero
Translation—now there's a tough business. I'm grateful I only work in one language (English). However, I work closely with a very large translation department. Most of my organization's materials end up in a minimum of 30 languages. Many are translated into over 100 languages (with more languages being added regularly). Most people don't understand just how expensive and time consuming translation is!
Translation takes time. I worked almost 1 year as a localizer for Microsoft back in 1996, for Office 97 into Swedish. And the kind of localization we did was easy compared to what it takes to properly translate a work of fiction. There are lots of things that do not translate well, and the tone and meaning might change a lot in translation with just a few words.

Fun fact, Tolkien could understand Swedish. He was not happy with the way the translator Åke Ohlmarks translated some of LotR (was a different translator for Bilbo)..
 

Vicente

Explorer
This is the main thing that stops me from writing more RPG stuff. I know I can write and speak English enough for regular day to day stuff, but I know that if I write 2000 words, it's going to have small things that don't sound totally right to a native speaker, same as when I speak people notice I have an accent. Thankfully some writing tools are getting better at not just correcting simple mistakes, but also more editing issues, so there's hope :)
 

Dioltach

Legend
I got my first professional translating job 25 years ago this September. I got a series of lucky breaks and moved into financial translation (for accountants) and then tax and legal translation. Just the other day I was translating a document about the legal system of a small Caribbean island for a Canadian court. This weekend I'm working on a company's justification to the tax authorities of a rather dodgy deal, and a brochure about a private bank's services, then employment contracts for a university's HR department.

Roleplaying material? I'd love to make a living editing that kind of stuff!
 

niklinna

satisfied?
@GuJiaXian I always compare editing (and translating, the other part of my job) to things like FX in movies, or picture quality on your television, or any other medium that serves to bring across the information or entertainment that people want to consume. If it's perfect, no-one mentions it, it's only when it's less than perfect that they start to take notice - and complain.
People notice, but they may not always complain...they might simply walk away. The first time I backed a crowdfunded RPG project, when I got the draft PDFs they were riddled with misspellings and typos, "dawizard"-level global find/replace glitches, contradictory and ambiguous text, and even a few power descriptions that were word salads—like, blatantly nonsense text. There had clearly not been any kind of internal proofreading before they sent out the PDFs.

The feedback process was tedious, but I went through the main book and sample characters in the brief time allotted and reported multiple problems on every single page. I didn't even have time to get to the accompaning adventure book. Good thing they crowdsourced their copy editing, so other people could perhaps handle the secondary material? I had also backed at a level where I got to contribute a custom character, and at no point did anyone other than myself do any editing (the other backers' final characters had many blatant mistakes and typos). The designer I was assigned clearly had no interest in looking at my revisions as I sent them in, nor was there any talk of playtesting.

After all that, it turned out that was going to be the one and only feedback round, and when the final PDFs shipped, they were still full of errors. I haven't backed or bought anything from them since, and I'm super leery of backing anything any more.

People don't use editors because their point of reference is a high-quality medium. They see a published book without any grammatical or spelling errors, and they assume that's how it was first written. They don't see the time and effort that goes into the editing and proofreading process.
Haha! I'm helping a friend who's never written a book before, and he had no idea how many revisions after the first draft would be necessary to have anything approaching a readable text. He's is a bit of a genius scatterbrain, though, so that's a factor....

Writing is a bit like cooking: everyone can put words to paper, just like everyone can fry up a sausage or boil a potato. But just like not everyone can cook a meal that people would be willing to pay money for in a restaurant, not everyone can write a text that is fit for publication.
So true. I did writing and editing for the first part of my tech career. I'm sometimes tempted to go back, but I rarely felt appreciated, even though I enjoyed the work.
 

Thomas Shey

Legend
I like the point about having others read it. As the author, you will probably feel that whatever you wrote, fiction or ruleswise, makes perfect sense because as the creator, they make sense in your head.

Worse than that: you've read it a hundred times, across the time you work on it. This means problems you'd immediately pick out if you read it the first time go right by you.

But in general, RPG products are often under-edited, but then, decent editors aren't cheap.
 
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aia_2

Custom title
My 2 cents on this subject: i would like to be an author... In the sense that i started writing a RPG. I am facing several issues:
1. I am not an english native speaker therefore writing in english could result into a text not flowing
2. I have never written anything before this experience and this doesn't help me in understanding what is the standard to follow
3. I have a clear idea of what the game should be (the way i want to present it is smtg different from the D&D standards... No clue if it is totally original or someone else already got this idea) but i had strives in order to reach the desired form (it could also be possible that i got the form at the cost of contents!)
4. Being at the first experience i have no clue what are the correct next steps therefore i asked some fellows to proofread the text ... This honestly has taken longer than expected... And it is not yet completed! But the strenght in my decision is that i asked to someone who is a hard player therefore i expect a revision not merely on my (poor) english but even on the way i explain concepts/rules... If you go with a professional editor who has no clue of rpgs then you would not get this benefit.
For the sake of completeness: once i will have my rulebook completed in the proofread step, i will put on sale a playtest version limited to a small amount of copies.

Ok, i could write tons of words on this experience but i stop here waiting for any suggestion you will kindly let me have!

Ah, re to the proofreading fees, i was asked 1usd per page (A5 size, approx 220-page length); this was a kind offer likely discounted compared the market fees.

As I want to run at zero-budget my RPG (the goal is to put it on sale at a very low price!), I am always open to anybody who will kindly offer a support! From my side i can offer the duly kudos in the book and a free copy of it!
 

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