EzekielRaiden
Follower of the Way
Well, that's good in that you have learned something about yourself, which is always a good thing.So, I can say after doing a lot of reading, that my answer to the original question ("What is player agency to you?") is this: For my games, either player agency just is character agency, or it doesn't matter at all/is not something I'm even slightly interested in.
Plots aren't driven by protagonists - protagonists react to the plot/what is happening to them. So, you are correct, the player who is outside of the game has virtually no agency, but their character does have agency, which is what matters to me. Which is why I am a simulationist, not a narrativist.
My games are like real life in that things are happening to you, and you must react to those things. You cannot step outside of 'the world' and direct them.
What this thread has taught me is that not only do I not want to run a narrativist game, but I also don't even want to play in one, because only character agency is important to me. I exercise my player agency by deciding if I'll even play in someone's game at all.
But I think this also perfectly encapsulates one of the central tensions of the thread.
That is, people have repeatedly said that there is no difference in agency between, as you put it, "character agency" games and "player agency" games. But then they pivoted to your current position here, that there is still some agency, it is just of a different sort.
Thing is, that pivot is admitting the original statement.
Player agency games do not lose character agency in the process. Full character agency is still on display, and may, in some cases, even be heightened by the presence of player agency. Games that only feature character agency intentionally do not include player agency.
Hence...exclusively character agency games have less agency in aggregate. That doesn't mean they have none (though they may, e.g. railroads and illusionism, my-way-or-the-highway GMing). But it is simply true that there is less agency involved.
If that point has (finally) been conceded, I think there may not be much else to talk about. Nobody (I hope) wants to yuck anyone's yum. If you prefer games that assiduously avoid player agency, awesome, more power to you, though you probably won't see me at any of your tables and vice-versa.