Preemptive statement: being exhausted by continuous complaining is perfectly reasonable, regardless of whether the complaining is reasonable/unreasonable, productive/unproductive, whether the complainers have reasonable other choices or not, and anything else. Negative emotions are exhausting.
That said, it is also important to realize that coming to this place is self-selecting towards this. This is the internet, social media specifically, a forum specifically, and tightly subject-matter-focused. This self-selects for people that want to spend more time thinking and discussing a thing than the time they spend playing it. It is going to end up being quite a bit of time discussing what each of us are disappointed in, or would do differently.
Exhausting? Yes.
Baffling? No.
People have an emotional attachment to their hobby. Well, fans do at any case. Nothing surprising about them resisting changes to what they loved.
The only surprising thing for me is that
so much of the forum* is focused on the twin teeth-gnashers of what-the-most-recent-changes-got-wrong and perpetual frustrations like caster-martial imbalance, edition wars, etc.; and
so little of it focused on homebrew, house rules, and 'how-would-you-fix-_______' inquiries. I've been online since the early 90s and people certainly weren't content with the game they got at any other specific year either, but I distinctly remember more trying-to-solve discussions back in the day.
*and other places like reddit, etc.
On the subject of conservatism, there are still ongoing arguments (some quite bitter) about whether ascending rather than descending AC is a crime against nature. I strongly suspect the same people have strong opinions about which end of a hard-boiled egg should be opened first.
Or the
byte order of data?
It's especially weird to say this while also saying that you don't understand the point of retroclones. Retroclones were designed specifically because the old stuff wasn't available, and people who didn't have them handy in good shape had a hard time getting their hands on them. Arguably now that's no longer true, but in the meantime, the retroclones got pretty well established, and most of them are better organized, better written, or fix a few issues that nobody much ever really liked back in the day. Most people who are playing old-style D&D (apparently) prefer playing retroclones rather than the old games.
In my experience, it depends. Firstly on if you are distinguishing retroclones from OSR games based on the old rules but with serious deviation. There are plenty of OSR games like
Beyond the Wall and Other Stories or
Worlds Without Number that just plain do something differently than the TSR-era A/D&Ds they are based on. I'm clearly going to play those when I want those things they bring to the table. For pure retroclones (almost exclusively re-writes of same ruleset), I generally only use those over reprints of original games only if they do something conveniently different. For example, I think having a level 1-3 intro set and then follow-up was brilliant for the D&D brand, but I'd rather not have B/X split into the B and X booklets when actually being used. Likewise I find reading Gygax's prose to be important in understanding AD&D, if I am to actually play it, I would rather use OSRIC than trying to hunt through the original DMG for the rule I know is
somewhere.
The inside cover ads in the Player's Options line of products listed only the PHB and Character Record Sheet packs as being Fundamental for a Player. The DMG, MM, and DM Screen were the only Fundamental DM products, which generally aligns with how my group approached the game back then.
Beyond anything actually printed in the books, BitD there was a basic issue of
availability. Various books were off the store shelves after a certain point, and unless your FLGS* had a used bin, you might not be able to get
The Complete Aardvark's Handbook if you spent your fun money on
Beagles and Cheetahs of the Realms that summer**. IIRC only the
PHB, DMG, and either
Monstrous Compendium or
Monster Manual were in continuous print for all of 2e. Thus, regardless of either game group intent or what the publisher stated, each game group was going to have a different total ruleset.
*if you shopped at one, instead of Woolworths or Walden or whatever.
*or on Vampire: the Masquerade books, or on Magic: the Gathering cards. The 90s were a hard time for collector completionists without infinite funds.