Recent content by RealAlHazred

Mine has mastered a couple of words in sign language. Unfortunately, those words are "more" and "mine"... I'm already there! Fortunately, I have learned boatloads of patience running RPGs for kids! My wife said watching me run tables of kid players told her I would be a good dad!

This is a great idea, except that, if I have a cheese, and she wants cheese, then the one I'm holding is actually her cheese. And if I eat her cheese... Well, it's not good! I get flashbacks to treasure division after RPGA scenarios at GenCon...

Not so, she's turning 3 soon. It only SEEMS like 37 years...

That did NOT work... I tried to explain that the cheese breaks when you eat it, but she was inconsolable. Until she fell asleep.

Things that made my daughter cry today: she wanted a cheese, and it broke into pieces when she took it out of the wrapper. Never mind that it breaks into pieces when she eats it... this made her break down and cry. Honestly, I have no idea what to do in this situation.

"Listen, everybody knows that <your favorite property, which is very popular> is garbage. Hot garbage. Everybody knows this. I'm trying to salvage that hot garbage with my fantastic artistic vision! Which happens to involve a lot of bikini-clad models, sure, but on the flip side, they're wearing...

Same here. My 1870s Mashup game that started in San Francisco with Emperor Norton? Hero System. My campaign combining vampires from the World of Darkness, Castlevania, Warhammer, and D&D? Hero System. My Hârn game thatgot invaded by extradimensional undead? Hero System. Even my Traveller game...

No, I glanced at half of the post, decided I knew what was going on, and immediately jumped in with both feet and no parachute. That's how it's done nowadays! I'm now convinced that Red Ryder BB guns do the same damage as Elephant guns! So be it! Set it in stone! 2026 is going to be streets...

1/2" entry hole and baseball-sized exit hole?... I may need to up the damage BB-guns do in my games! Are we talking regular BBs, or are there baseball-sized BBs I'm unaware of?

I'd explain what happened, but I signed an NDA...

Probably the second-best Christmas movie of all time, just after Christmas with the Kranks*! * This is a joke. Please don't watch that movie, it's terrible. Management accepts no responsibility for the sharp drop in the quality of your life if you say, "How bad could it be?" and watch it anyway.

In high school, we had those tables where the benches were attached. One day, I got up after finishing lunch to put my tray away, walked one step, and fell down. Because when I got up and walked away, my lower left leg.... didn't. It got trapped in between the bench and table. I went to the...

No, all of my writings are apologetics for 4th edition.