UPDATE - Decorating a Wizard's lair - need help! And my players, stay out, please

You need harmless but interesting magical trinkets to fill the place out...

• Elemental Utilities - Small magically bound Water, Air, Fire and Electric Elementals (Mephits?) to provide running water, heat, ventilation and electricity, respectively.
• Living Art - Recently, on the RBDM boards, an insect tapestry was suggested. A wall hanging covered by a swarm of variously colored flies or gnats. The insects are arranged so as to create an image on the tapestry. On occasion, the swarm takes off into a cloud of buzzing insects only to resettle seconds later into a different pattern. Perhaps there can be a specific trigger to change the pattern. Maybe the pattern changes to suit the temperment of whoever is looking at the tepestry?
• Ethereal Art - To the average, ordinary adventurer, it just looks like an empty glass bell jar. But for someone with the means to see ethereal objects, it reaveals a ghostly sculpture.
• A Magical Oven - A simple iron stove enchanted with a heat metal spell.
• Housekeeping - A permanent unseen servant that perpetually cleans house.
• Toys - A music box enchanted with ghost sound and silent image. Animated chess men. Self-juggling balls. Any manner of 'perpetual motion' machines.
• Septic Tank - A perfect lair for an otyugh.
• Wardrobe - A sort of Heward's Handy Hamper that not only holds an immense amount of clothing, jewelry and adornments within its extra-dimensional space, but also automatically pre-selects a complete outfit based on the wearer's mood, the divined social events scheduled for the day and the divined weather.
• Other Oddities - A long, thin severed tentacle that continually writhes about inside a filigree cage. A kaleidoscope that grants a view assorted celestial and demonic planes, when gazed through. A jarred eyeball that follows the motions of the PCs as they pass through the room. A faintly glowing... anything.

Anything you can think of that a wizard could use magic for to make his life more convenient or amusing.

I think the kitchen should be completely mundane, and decorated a la Mary Englebreit. The players will be certain all the chotchkeys are magical, and will spend lots of time trying to find out what everything does. :cue evil DM laugh:

http://shop.maryengelbreit.com/shopmary/

Henry, keep the telescope -- just have it work regardless of the fact that it's in a dimensionally bounded space. In fact, it can see the skies in multiple dimensions, so long as you have the right skill for tuning it.

Have I missed something.... where does he sleep/relax after a hard day in the laboratory.... even bugbear sorcerers with delusions of divinity like to sit in front of a fire with a good book every now and then

The Hoard


Edit - ok yes I missed something

Here are a few pieces found in my Mad Crazy Insane Wizard's Pocket Demiplanar Home of Crazy Insane Madness:

Large rooms with a steel-tiled floor. Several vats are hollowed out in the floor, and filled with an eerie, stinky, slightly phosphorecent green fluid. Lots of skeletons (humanoids, animals, and monsters alike) float in these vats.

Dank and dark caves with all sorts of weird mutant fungi. Beside shrieker and violet fungi, there were also ascomoids, basidironds, and even a phantom fungus. (Now, there would be also fungoid and myconids.)

A little labyrinth in the center of yet another large rooms. The labyrinth is made of tall stone panels on which are carved draconic glyphs (IMC, draconic is written in ideogrammes, like Chinese). These ideogrammes do not make any sense together -- just a meaningless string of unrelated concepts.
This labyrinth is in fact a dragon wizard's spellbook, but the spells are written in a deeply encoded way. To decode it, you need to make a map of the labyrinth, considering the width of a panel makes one square. Then, on your map, trace the various itinerary you need to follow to go from one of the entries to one of the exit. Then, follow the labyrinth from an entry to an exit, and read each panel on your left hand while you progress, using each glyph as a square, following the same itinerary on each panel as you do in the labyrinth.
This piece is a curiosity the wizard bought from treasure hunters who thought it was just an archaological treasure. The wizard has guessed the truth, but he's not sure the labyrinth has been rebuilt properly, with each panel in its proper place, and he doesn't know which horizontal direction of the labyrinth is considered the top. (The panels are perfectly square.) The number of combinations is migraine-inducing.

Lots of strange items a bit everywhere. A chessboard whose pieces move by themselves sometimes. Each figure on the board represent a famous personality (like a king, house leader, or legendary adventurer), some of which are dead. The board emanates enchantment magic, while the pieces' magic registers as divination.
A frame for a painting, but instead of a painting, it holds just a big lump of purple goo. The goo emanates transmutation magic.
A large chandelier, burning with continual flames. Everything illuminated by the chandelier's light gets a Nystul's magic aura effect, for as long as it stays illuminated.
A bubbling swimming pool. The bubbling effect is actually caused by an air elementite swarm bound in the water; they will attack intruders (people who didn't enter in that room in the company of the wizard) who want to take a dip.
A curious contraction, made of a Force box with several ethereal spinning tops permanently spinning inside, following erratic trajectories. Sometimes, a couple of tops merge together, and shine slightly until they separate. The whole device emanates a strong Divination magic.
Jars with organs taken from the weirdest aberrations. I had an ethereal filcher's hand, for example.
A half-constructed homonculus.

Piratecat said:

Henry, keep the telescope -- just have it work regardless of the fact that it's in a dimensionally bounded space. In fact, it can see the skies in multiple dimensions, so long as you have the right skill for tuning it.

Click to expand...

I was thinking along these lines originally too. Actually, the specific idea that I had was that the stars are unfamiliar looking. They're not from another hemisphere or even another part of the galaxy. They're from the previous universe that existed co-locationally to the current one before the Big Crunch/Big Bang cycled (though neither the Wizard nor players will likely know this). And the avatars it summons are the pale remnants of the gods of that universe.

Yeah, they serve the summoner - to the letter. But they've got other agendas as well...

Can't you just hear it now:

Player 1 - "Way to go jackass, you've unleashed a long dormant God of Destruction!"

Player 2 - "Well...yeah...but only a little one."

My thanks again to a core of awesome Rat-bastards who have helped populate my Sorcerous lair. A few notes I should have mentioned: The Bugbear is no longer there; the place is deserted, except for some undead guardians, some creatures from Fernia, and some people imprisoned there recently by the undead. No one has seen or heard from the sorcerer since his attempt failed, and he is presumed destroyed by the Dhaakan (Goblinoids). So any living accomodations are fallow, except that the outsiders and unseen servants are still working on their last projects and keeping the place up. What you actually did, was help me populate the VERY next room the PC's are going to visit. (You see that gap at #11? They stopped in the room previous to it at the end of our last session. )

Thanks, All!

a place of worship.

the first temple/altar to himself.

Self-cleaning rugs and carpets. no matter what in the way of trash and garbage falls on them inside an hour they are clean. Picture the look on the player's faces when they see the bathroom rug carting the kobold's body down the hall to the trash chute. Thing is, it only works with trash and garbage.

A closet for his spell components.

Another for his hats (every wizard needs a good selection of jaunty hats).

Animated brooms.

Bubbling cauldrons ... perhaps with something alive (or formerly alive) in one.

An undead butler.

A shrine to his spellbook(s)