Taladas vs. MarauderX
Charon Calls
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Slap. Clunk. The clock/radio/alarm hits the floor. The flailing arm falls limp. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Click. You have reached the residence of Larry Fender. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep. Larry where are you? Why aren’t you at work? Listen, Linda says that she is going to fire you if you don’t get in today. So you better get here Dude. Click.
Larry’s eyes open. Larry utters a few choice expletives. He gets out of bed and grabs the clock/radio/alarm. He sees that the clock face is unlit. He sees that the cord has been pulled from the plug. Larry utters a few more choice expletives and tosses the clock/radio/alarm.
Larry races to the bathroom and quickly brushes his teeth. Larry quickly goes through his hygiene regimen sans the shower. He decides to cologne it instead.
Reeking of cheap cologne Larry grabs his clothes and throws them on with abandon. Rushing out the door, Larry barely zips up before he bumps in to a boy, a paperboy.
“Two dollars, you owe me two dollars for the paper this week.”
“Look, I’m late for work. I’ll catch you later.”
“ Two dollars. Not later I want my two dollars now, sir”
“Fine.” Larry pulls out a bill from his wallet. “I’ve only got a twenty. Can you make change?”
“Thanks!” The paperboy yanks the bill from Larry’s hand and races away.
“Hey, you little twerp!” Larry rushes after the paperboy and nimbly dodges around the car. At least that was the plan. Thud.
“Ow.” He gets up slowly and examines himself. Brushing off some mud he gets into his car and leaves.
His job at Pearson’s Department Store may not be much but unlike his other work it means a steady paycheck. So Larry races through Saturday morning traffic, dodging in and out of lanes. Zipping past cars and grudgingly stopping at red lights, well most of the red lights.
Turning a corner he sees that the light in the distance has just turned yellow. Gunning it he tries to make it before it turns red. Then suddenly he feels a falling sensation. Aaahh!
Wham! Sudden cut to black.
Larry picks himself off of the jungle floor, spitting out various bits of dirt and flora. “Great late for work and now this. Well I better find my fare or I’ll never get out of here.”
Larry then starts walking like a man confidant that he will find what he is looking for and of course he will. Although it will take him longer than he thinks.
“How long is this going to take?” thinks Larry. Sweating from exertion he climbs up the side of a hill covered in jungle canopy. He then sees the spot that he needs to get to. There is no physical sign to see but he knows that is the place. It’s only two miles away through heavy jungle growth and across a large stream.
Larry breathes heavy trying to catch his breath. “Man, these things can be such jerks.”
After long journey Larry arrives at where he is going. Larry looks up into the tree before him and sees
his fare.
“You know I think that I really do look thoroughly stunning up here with the light just so. I really do think it was worth your effort to get here. You must feel grateful for the chance to see me in such glory.”
“Are you my fare?”
“Of course, are you not a Charon?”
“Yes.”
“Are not Charons charged with bringing spirits from one plane of reality to the Charon’s own plane of reality? Have I not summoned you here and are you not charged with bringing me to you own dimension.”
“Well, you do have to pay.”
“Of course, my dear fellow. Do you not see the “sawbucks” as you kind calls it hanging from my pocket? One thousand of your dollars a bit more than two old coins I dare say. Heh, heh. “
“That will do.” Larry snatches the money up and puts it in his wallet.
“Are you ready to go?
“At once, mylad, at once.” The creature leaps down from the tree and on to Larry’s shoulder.
“You should ride in my coat. The shift can have a deleterious effect on spirits and it will protect you.”
“As you think best, my good sir.” Larry then places the creature inside his coat. Then Larry recites the incantation he learned at that three-day seminar in Orlando. When he finishes the world collapses in on its self and Bam!
“Are you alright? Can you hear me?”
“Huh” Larry slowly turns to look at who is making that sound. He sees a fireman. He looks around and sees that his airbag has deployed and that he appears to be in a very large hole.
“Oh.”
“Look the paramedics are on their way. Just stay still and try to relax.”
Larry is soon taken to the hospital, checked out and released. When he leaves the hospital he is asked such thoughtful questions from the press as “What does it feel like driving into a sinkhole?” and “Are you planning to sue the city/county/state?”
Larry walks into his apartment and hangs his coat up on the rack. He looks at the coat and smiles.
“You’re going to bring me a lot of money. The thousand dollars may pay for my medical bills but you’re worth ten thousand on the magic market. My coat’s protective wards will keep you there.”
Larry then goes to his answering machine and plays the messages. Message one “Blah.” Message two “Blah, Blah.” Message three “Blah, Blah, Blah.” Message four “Dude, you fell into a hole. Ha, this is Cummings! Linda was so P.O.ed that you didn’t make it to work until she heard you fell into a hole. This is so awesome you fell into a hole, too bad about your car though. Listen Linda said that you need to come into work tomorrow. She said, “He’s healthy look at him run from the reporters.” So I can give you a ride if you need.”
Larry calls Cummings and gets a ride for the morning. Larry then plugs in his clock/radio/alarm and sets the time and alarm. He then makes himself dinner and turns on the television and watches SINKHOLE 2005 footage. After he finishes dinner he goes to bed.
Bam, Bam, Bam! Come on, Larry! Time to go to work!
Larry wakes with a start.
“Alright, alright! I’ll be there in a minute!”
Larry stumbles to the door and opens it.
“Dude, you’re not even dressed. Come on we’ve got to go the sinkhole has backed up traffic for a mile or more.”
“Just let me freshen up and get dressed and we can go.”
“Well hurry up. If you didn’t fall in that sinkhole yesterday I swear I would just leave you.”
Larry quickly gets ready. As he does he sees that his alarm doesn’t go off for another half-hour.
“Cummings I don’t have to be at work until 9:00, so why are you here at 7:13 in the morning?”
“Cause I have to be at work at 7:30.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that yesterday?”
“Forgot, chop chop we got to go.”
Larry grabs his coat on the way out.
When they arrive at the store Larry heads for the breakroom. And hangs his coat on a rack. He grabs a cup of coffee and sits down to read the newspaper.
Linda walks in and says, “So you made it in. Good, since all of your sick time is gone why don’t you start working now. I’m sure you could use the money to help pay for a new car. Your old one looked pretty totaled before you drove it into a hole. Afterwards it looked even more crumpled.”
“Look, I didn’t just drive it into a hole. The sinkhole opened up under me as I was driving. Freak accident. But I’m fine thanks for asking.”
“Then you won’t have any objection to working. Help Cummings stock the shelves.”
“Yeah, I think I will, better company anyway.”
As Larry storms out of the breakroom, Linda casually goes over to the cabinets and gets some vanilla wafers. A few moments later after she is sure that he is gone she goes over to his coat. She pulls out a small vial containing crack cocaine.
“This will get you out of here, jerk.”
She reaches into Larry’s coat and puts the vial into the inside pocket. As she does so she starts and her eyes go real wide.
“Hello, my dear. Thank you so much for freeing me. But since my imprisonment I haven’t eaten anything, could you possibly help me?”
Larry and Cummings are busily setting up a display of really ugly purses.
“Dude, they’ve already opened the store. We have to finish this before Linda comes over to yell at us. “
“I couldn’t care less what she does. Besides we only have two more boxes and we’re done.”
“So tell me Dude, what’s it like to fall in a sinkhole?”
“The same sinking feeling that I get working here.”
“Heh, funny dude.” Then Cummings gets a funny look on his face, O.K. funnier than normal.
“Psssst. Take a gander at that, Dude.” (Picture)
Larry looks up and sees this horrible fur hat this woman is wearing. The disturbing thing is it seems to wink at him. Larry gets a real sinking feeling.
“Uh, look I have to take a leak, like right now. So finish up for me, bye.” Larry runs off towards the breakroom.
“Dude, you have the bladder of an infant.”
Larry rushes into the breakroom and sees Linda
dazed and stuffed.
“Oh no, it’s loose. What am I going to do?”
Larry spent the rest of the day fretting and working. Although he did have the fun of seeing Linda sent to the hospital for psychological evaluation. By the time Cummings took him home that night he had a plan. He gathered his folders of magic rites searched through them. Set up mystic wards around his home to detect and trap the spirit. These should work although he had never tried these spells before. Besides the thing had spent most of its time in Larry’s coat. It would have no idea where Larry lived. Of course Larry might have to quit work and move away, if he didn’t catch it soon. But it would be O.K.
Larry worked tirelessly on his wards and finished about 1:00 AM. Exhausted, he checked his alarm. Larry wanted to get up early to try a tracking spell he found in an old folder. With that and a binding spell he that he knew he felt he could capture it. Larry then collapsed into sleep.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz Larry’s alarm drones on and on. It’s loud but it’s not loud enough to wake the dead.
. A clarification on the rules and where to post would be appreciated.
