D&D 5E Lord Cupcake's Will

Fruitpie the Sorcerer would surely have taken Lord Cupcake's quest.

It was probably to seek the great unicorn Charlie, and discover the hidden location of Candy Mountain.

Candy Mountains is dancing in that tavern near the wharf.











...oh, you mean the geological feature! Nevermind!

Olgar Shiverstone said:

It was probably to seek the great unicorn Charlie...

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I found him! I found him!

Dannyalcatraz said:

Candy Mountains is dancing in that tavern near the wharf.

...oh, you mean the geological feature! Nevermind!

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The Candy Mountains are spathic.

That is to say: they have distinct cleavage.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleavage_(geology)

Hmmm... based on context, the quest may have had to do with visiting Gumdrop Island or taking down a crazy wizard named Ray. But the stuff in this thread is pure gold! "It's gold, Jerry! Gold!"

The treasure, as it turned out, was fake, false, and a lie. The doubloons were, in fact, real gold and not the foil-wrapped chocolate the heroes had fought, slew, and bled for..

What we need now is to convince Michael Moorcock to expand his Eternal Champion series to include a hero from this world*, who wields a large staff of chocolate (with a triangular cross-section) that has glowing runes in it that spell out "E.N.O.R.E.L.B.O.T."...



* and no, we can't call it "Doon. Aruckus. Dessert Planet." because that one was taken by the Harvard Lampoon.
www.amazon.com/National-Lampoons-Doon-Ellis-Weiner/dp/0671541447

Cristian Andreu said:

What was it that Lord Cupcake asked Travok and Kairon that made them dismiss his needs? Perhaps the horrors were too great to handle? Challenges too insurmountable to climb?

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Perhaps Lord Cupcake asked them to rescue his daughter from the Labyrinth of the King of Crepes, which would mean facing the fierce- but fresh- Mintytaur.

Ray the crazy wizard works for the Frost Corporation, enchanting Frost Brand (tm) swords.

Lord Cupcake wants Travok and Kairon to negotiate a deal with FrostCo for Ray's services.

In this deal, the crazy wizard will give Lord Cupcake a thick, sugary topping - that is, the legendary Frosting of Ray.

This will involve a putting a nozzle onto a Wand of Frost (tm), to shape its output. And there's only one company of wizards which has expertise in how nozzles shape the outputs of wands.

Yes, that's right: Travok and Kairon will have to secure the co-operation of Aperture Laboratories.

But they can't negotiate a merger between FrostCo and Aperture Labs... that would be bad.

Well, not until Ray says it's time to cross the streams.

Okay, thank you, you've been a wonderful audience, you can stop throwing tomatoes now.







PS: If Tiamat escapes from Avernus and arrives in central Phlan, then there is one sentence which, if spoken by any player, will cause Inspiration:

"Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown... THROW IT!"

Riley37 said:

If Tiamat escapes from Avernus and arrives in central Phlan...

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Where the fruit is placed?


"Waiter, there's a multi-headed evil dragon in my dessert!"