I learned to play as a kid in Germany. Primarily a fullback and goalie.
The last time I played was in college intermurals. I helped my all-freshman team almost make school history when we scared The Internationals twice in one season- they hadn’t lost a game in 11 years, with an average margin of victory in that period of over 2 points. We played them tough, losing first in the regular season (1-0) and the second time in the championship game in a PK shootout. I played left or center FB.
Possibly my best (and worst) on-field performance, though, came when I was the goalie on a VERY bad team of theater, choir, band and gaming nerds playing a team loaded with jocks. In the entire game, we never advanced the ball more than a few feet past midfield. I stopped 45 of 46 shots on goal. The one that got past me was a weak dribbling pass to nobody with a minute left. I was going to just stop and hold it, but as I ran to it, I saw our right wing running full speed and uncovered upfield, so I decided to hammer it to him...
...only to have the turf under my plant foot give way, causing me to backflip as the ball passed under me untouched. I recovered quickly and tried to chase down the slow-roller, but it crossed the goal line while I was still a couple yards away,
Never have I felt more like Charlie Brown,