A Troika Adventure.
Ingredients: McGuffin of Certain Doom; Seaside Showdown; Ornate Ornithopter; Sack of Coffee Beans; Mediocre Poet; Eye of the Bee Holder; Wind Tunnel
Tahl’keen, golden habitat ark, sails serenely through the heavens. It is the property of Benedictum, retired god of good coffee and beat poetry, who won it in a card game from a trickster good of the Lesser Pamploose. He has peopled it with poets and professors of rhetoric from a thousand worlds so that he might find a bit of decent conversation once in awhile. It has one city, Doggerel, which rests on the shore of the lavender Lake Iambic, at the foot of the Ark’s single mountain, Whispers of Vast Solitude. The city is a pleasant maze of cobbled streets lined with book stores, tobacconists, refined coffee shops, and libraries, all staffed by eager servitor-cyborgs and the odd summer student.
Tahl’keen has an occasional problem. Once every 100 years the vast ship’s security failsafe kicks in. On that day, called Emergency Day, a new secure cipher must be entered into the Rainbow Interface or the Ark will explode with the force of 73.5 suns, which everyone agrees would be quite inconvenient. The Rainbow Interface is located on the top of the Ark’s other main feature, the huge floating Ceramite Hive of the Opalescent Dream Bees (know both for prophecy and delectable honey). On the summit of that huge floating hive, opposite the Rainbow Interface, stands a tall pillar of dream wax, which pulses and shimmers constantly, its patterns occasionally revealing a great truth or foretelling. On the Day of Emergency, the pillar shimmers with the colour cipher that must be entered into the interface.
Both the bees and the hive itself are parts of the security system, and activate to prevent casual cipher inputting by unauthorized users. The Hive begins to spin at ridiculous speeds, pulling up a cyclone of air and lavender lake water, and the warrior drones are placed on high alert. (This all makes Benedictum very grumpy, he’s less than technical and can’t disable the security system, but it all seems so bloody baroque. He’d prefer a nice quite chat with a friendly customer service representative).
Someone must brave the cyclone and bees to enter the cipher. The inhabitants of Tahl’keen, academics all, are far too busy for this kind of nonsense and so suitable outsiders are lured/bribed/kidnapped to do the deed. The scholars are quite keen on the associated festivities though, which involve rather a lot of increasingly heated wagers, coffee carts, and sitting in comfortable chairs while watching from a safe distance.
A single group might lack motivation, so Emergency Day by long tradition is a contest between two sets of reluctant inductees. Each group will pilot one of the pair of ornithopters (named Espresso and Macchiato) up to the Ceramite Hive and the winner is whomever manages to enter the failsafe cipher while keeping their insides on the inside. The winners receive their choice of either a chest full of gold and jewels, or a 2% stake in
Benedictum’s Brews, a multiverse-spanning line of franchised specialty coffee shops.
The Opposition. Four pint-sized Althesian Compu-Monks, identically dressed in black robes with glowing orange eyes. When they speak they all speak in a falsetto chorus, and they seem strangely comfortable with larceny and casual thumpings.
Insert the monks into the festivities whenever it seems most inconvenient for the players.
Skill 12, Stamina 10, Initiative 2, Armour 2, Damage 1d6 Shock batons. Experts in non-consensual salvage and general sneakiness.
Doggerel. The contestants get free coffee for the duration of the contest. They may plumb the city's libraries for information about their opponents, ornithopter design and maintenance, or even late medieval cheese mongering. Roll skill vs 12 and get a extra scoop of one ability on your ‘thopter, or +2 on one roll vs one of the mountain groups.
Every time you roll skill in a library, roll a d6 for hazards and fees
1-3: Nothing but dust mites
4: pay 20 gold entrance fee;
5: take 1d3 damage from aggressive bookworms;
6: A nice sandwich and large latte bribe will get you in.
The Ornithopters. Fussy brass and leather flying contraptions. Each has a brew unit behind a crew compartment and four dragonfly wings made of translucent ceramite. Drop scoopfuls of your collected beans in the hopper and grind them. The resulting brew creates a hypo-magical field and grants you ‘copter skills. For each scoop (max 9 scoops):
A scoop of Espresso adds + 1 to attack rolls (1d6 Zzap damage)
A scoop of Light Roast adds +1 to speed rolls
A scoop of Dark Roast adds +1 to handling rolls
Powered by poetry. The ornithopters are semi-sentient and respond to verbal commands. Commands given in rhyming couplets grant an additional +1 to the roll. The player must rhyme out loud.
When a ‘thopter takes damage, first remove the hypo-magical field, one bonus at a time per point of damage. The chassis itself has three stamina.
Up the Mountain
The Fuel. You need specific enchanted coffee beans to power the ornithopters, so each group is given a fancy sack and a day to collect their fuel. The magical bean types are grown by three groups of the Ark’s stranger inhabitants, all of whom live on or around Whispers of Vast Solitude. In the lush dales at its feet flit the Green Blossom Faries, who grow
Double-Rosted Apple Dark (handling). Nesting on its rugged shoulders, the Microsphinxes, who grow
Thelomon Sunrise Morning Blend (speed). Dolorously chanting on its dizzy heights, the Sentient Fulgurites, who grow
Galvanic Special Espresso (Zzap). Each group has three beans, how many the group finds/steals/trades for is up to the GM.
Mountain Hazards – roll once between each destination.
- Bean Rustlers are after your beans. Skill 8, Stamina 10, Initiative 1, Armour 1, Damage 1d6, Rusty Long Guns and wide brimmed hats
- A hard rain of deep funk. Spend one luck or lose one skill rank for a day.
- Rockslide. Big bouncing boulders. Roll skill vs 10 or take 1d6 damage.
- Confusing! Roll skill vs 10 or roll again on this table.
- Hipster trolls snap menacingly. Skill 10, Stamina 20, Initiative 2, Armour 2, Damage as large beast, regenerate 1 stamina/turn
- A helpful old gent gives you a cuppa and some directions. You arrive.
Green Blossom Faries. Wee pale flyers. Very cute. Mouths full of needle fangs.
Skill 12, Stamina 8, Initiative 3, Armour 1, Damage 1d4
Love a good practical joke and hiding things in the foliage of their lush valley home. Perhaps a scavenger hunt? Then something to eat…
Microsphinxes. Flying, dog-sized with the heads of human infants. Way smart. Sharp claws and a penchant for rhyme.
Skill 10, Stamina 15, Initiative 3, Armour 1, Damage 1d6
Poetry slam! Match their rhyming skills or you’ll get slammed right off the cliff side.
Sentient Fulgurite. Waddling living rock formations. Huge cowards, very secretive. Speak in song form.
Skill 10, Stamina 15, Initiative 1, Armour 3, Damage 1d10 lightning bolt
Build mazes of beehive shaped stone huts on their mountain top. Secret love of lemon drops.
Brave the Vortex
The group can brew their beans and make any adjustments to their ornithopter, then it is time to fly. This all happens on a lakeside observation deck with the whole populace of Doggerel watching and shouting encouragement. There will be a coutdown and a cannon shot to announces liftoff for the two ornithopters.
The Vortex. A whirling mix of air and lavender water 500’ high that surrounds the hive. You need 5 progress to make it to the eye of the vortex and the Rainbow Interface. Roll on the table below until 5 total progress have been accumulated. Hazards can be avoided using whatever ornithopter skills the players can make a case for.
- Crosswinds force you off course. Lose 1 progress.
- Chunks of flying coral. 1d3 horse-size chunks that do 1d3 damage each. (+1 progress)
- Warrior Drones. Very stingy. Skill 6, Stamina 4, Initiative 1, Armour 1, Damage 1d3 (+1 progress)
- The Kraken. Tentacles snake out of the foam to crush your ship. 1d6 damage (+1 progress)
- Swarm of worker bees. Take 1d4 damage from impacts. (+1 progress)
- Dogfight! The other ornithopter swoops out of the spray. Fight two rounds of ship to ship combat before the winds drag you apart. Skill 6, Hypomagic Shields 4,1d6 damage (+2 progress)
The Eye. An oasis of calm surrounds the platform that holds the dream wax pillar and the Rainbow Interface. Roll Skill vs 12 to determine the correct cipher sequence from the pillar’s coruscating pulses. The Rainbow Interface is a circle divided into four coloured buttons - red, blue, yellow, and green. They must be pushed in the correct sequence (they make a variety of pleasant beeps and boops when pressed). Roll vs skill 10 to correctly input the cipher. If you enter the wrong code the Interface lets out a sad boop and an ominous beeping starts. You have a minute or two to correct your error.