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My buddy's wife caught him gaming once and oh boy was there trouble! Now a days he tells her we're going to the bar to get drunk, and if she think's he's lying then he goes to the backup plan and admits he was watching porn at his friend's place, that seems to be the lesser of the two evils...

633) "Shut up curse you or I'll run you through! OK that's settled, back in character." 634) Eat all the jellybeans. 635) "The first rule of our game sessions is no one talks about our game sessions..."

585) "No! We can play when you guys are finished making those keychains. We gotta pay for this operation somehow. Now quit whining and get back to work!" 586) The Miserable Cubicle. 'nuff said. 587) Let Nylarlathotep play. ;) 588) Introduce the Dragonstar tm campaign! 589) Be a "Chaotic...

571) "Dress up" your players. To be fair, allow them "casual days" or "hawaiian shirt days."

568) Keep your players in line with some "tough love." I hurt you guys 'cause I care... Now don't make me use that stick again. 569) Dice rollin' off the table. That's a paddlin'. 570) TPK! YES! YES! Who's your daddy!

Thanks. I have a copy of the old basic module and was thinking of converting it for 3ed any suggestions on where one could find any conversion stuff?

Ruining your campaign, meathod #45623: Let Nylarathotep play. :D

549) There is never any reason to argue with the players, waving the gun around will pretty much get them to see things your way. 550) Eat continuously through out the entire session. End every line with "gotta bulk up"

469) "Not bad, Not bad. You guys should make another level for this wad of Xp, but I'm sort of disappointed. You could have gotten so much more. Let's see... You missed the blind beggar, the shopkeep, the tavern owner, not to mention all the horses you left alive! There was the two serving girls..."

I can't believe no one has mentioned Ghost in The Shell or The Legend of Lemnear . Don't let your kids see the second one. If you are playing D&D and haven't read Tolkien you should be ashamed of yourself. I don't have to go on a tirade here do I? Good. Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott is...

Do you have the spell Powergame to RolePlay? No? Sounds like you're SOL. My suggestion is to find different players. If they are accusing you of trying to "Win" they are missing the point of the game. Failing that my advice is to start drinking heavily so you don't have money and time to...

Don't worry, didn't read it. Just thought I'd move it to the front again. What am I saying!? It don't matter, I'm dead!

448) "So you draw your sword, the ork draws his H&K Mp-5! Ooooh! you take 93 points of damage. You're dead?! I don't know why you guys keep using swords and stuff..." 449) Three words: Tactical Nuclear Weapons. 450) "No, I believe you're wrong on that count, Jar-Jar makes that movie." 451)...

405) You want the twenty-sider? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TWENTY-SIDER! 406) Coach your players' die rolling, convince them that, yes, with some practice, they can get better results.

383) Repeatedly lament that your d12 doesn't get enough use. 384) Use the "Pop-a-dice" from Trouble for all your rolls. 385) When organizing the session ask your player's wives/girlfriends to join in on the play. (Works best if wife/girlfriend thinks that player is doing something like going...

357) Take a page from Gygax's "101 ways to kill characters": Sphere of Annihilation traps. (You've all lost someone in there.)

The first time playing that solo adventure in the Basic set is some of the most formative (and probably one of the better rules teachers) TSR ever put out. Play it if you can find willing accomplices man. I would but all of my gaming group are stuck on 3rd Ed. It sucked that you couldn't...

Is there any plans to convert some of the old D&D modules to 3rd Ed? One of my favorites was Rahasia, an extremely well written one. How about Return to the Tomb of Horrors, Temple of Death, or Where Chaos Reigns?

Oh, I thought this was a humorous thread, sorry. But anyways... 341) Have them encounter a "Nilbog". Some of you laugh, some need an explanation. See 1st Ed MM2. 342) End each session with: "Man am I ever kicking your guys butts!" 343) On the same vein, have a non-playing accomplice come in...

310) Every time one of the PCs do something in excellent character say: "Yeah thats just like that scene in the D&D movie you know..." Proceed with lengthy description of scene from movie. ** 311) Crush a die with a sledgehammer when it gives you a bad roll as an "example" to the other dice...