1000 Signs you're in GM HELL

[BWP]

This is more like "players' hell" than "GM hell", but ....

* The GM tells you that an unstoppable evil will destroy the world if the PCs don't achieve their quest, and the PCs know that they have no chance in hell of overcoming the opposition.

* The GM insists that he's going to run an "evil campaign" "just for fun", and all PCs must play evil characters. They are then punished every time they do something naughty (let alone "evil"!), relentlessly hounded by other beings far more powerful than they are, and given extremely difficult tasks that can only be overcome by complete co-operation, sympathy and perhaps even self-sacrifice on the part of the PCs.

 

[Endovior]

#276: The player whose character just died makes a new one, and picks a fight with the Level 1 NPC Commoner who is supposed to be this session's plot hook... and dies.

 

[MonsterMash]

#277 Your players post replies to your 'My players keep out' threads on ENWorld

 

[Kae'Yoss]

No, that's Daniel Jackson. Close though.

Bah, they got it wrong. Jack is much better at making people think they're so smart

#278: You made the fault of letting the players play powerful characters (Gestalt) even though you can't handle powerful characters properly...
#279: ...You try to compensate by railroading and blatant metagaming against the characters (Almost every character dependant on his magic? The enemies HQ is protected by a permanent antimatic zone, nevermind that this isn't possible by the RAW. The players make plans and the enemies have had no chance to overhear this? No problem, the DM has heard it!)...
#280: ...And they still whipe the floor with the enemy.

 

[Einan]

Almost every character dependant on his magic? The enemies HQ is protected by a permanent antimatic zone, nevermind that this isn't possible by the RAW.

I have to say, one of the most fun moments I ever had as DM was when the players were confronted with trying to retrieve a key suspended by a silver wire 50' over the ground in a featureless room with an anti-magic zone filling the room. 12th level PCs looking at each other, saying things like "I threw the rope away. Hell, I thought you could fly anyway!"

Beautiful roleplaying moment.

Einan

 

[DM-Rocco]

I have to say, one of the most fun moments I ever had as DM was when the players were confronted with trying to retrieve a key suspended by a silver wire 50' over the ground in a featureless room with an anti-magic zone filling the room. 12th level PCs looking at each other, saying things like "I threw the rope away. Hell, I thought you could fly anyway!"

Beautiful roleplaying moment.

Einan

Kinda reminds me of the time the players saw an Ettin in the woods. Then the ranger placed a bag of food on the ground and hid. He then told the DM, "When he reaches for the food, I shot him in the head," the party WAS first level and not to bright.

 

[Eye Tyrant]

244: You're GMing tonight... ...and are only GMing because if you don't nobody else will and there won't be a game.

Isn't that the truth!

 

[pogre]

#281 You spend 45 hours carefully modifying and painting a miniature figure to accurately reflect the BBEG and when the PCs defeat him a newbie knocks over the figure and yells "take that bi***".

#282 Your playing at an alternate location to your main gaming area and the host lights a cigar, in a small room. and it's not a decent cigar.

 

[green slime]

#283: You are reduced to using the SRD because the books are deemed pornographic, and cannot be brought into the country which you are working on contract.
#284: Although you endeaveour perservere and play-by-message board, the local ISP's block connection to that site. Although access is possible from the PTT. #285: The site you are using to play by message board gets hit by either a hacker or admin incompetence, and two years of posting gets wiped out, never to be seen again.
#286: There are no players within 500 kms. NONE.
#287: All the pubs closed in 1979....

 

[Kae'Yoss]

#288: The players express their desire to play a good space opera campaign, but of course none of the published games/campaign settings is good enough for them. After weeks of backbreaking world-building, you have the first session, only to be told that "After thinking about it, we'd rather play GreyHawk instead. Is that OK with you?"

#283: You are reduced to using the SRD because the books are deemed pornographic, and cannot be brought into the country which you are working on contract.

I am thoroughly convinced that this is the #1 reson for terrorist attacks.

"Yesterday the city hall assassin has finally been caught. He was armed with a large weapon made of plastic and wore a chainmail armour under a large hooded cloak. When interrogated about the assassination two days earlier, he just commented 'Oooh, crit!' He confessed to be a member of the Radical Organisation for the Freedom of Lycanthropes 'ROFL'"