1000 Signs you're in GM HELL

[Heathen72]

59. Your Major NPC villains are more charismatic, more intelligent, and more ready with flashy repartee than you are.
60. Or at least you set them up that way, but all you can come up with the players bait you is That's what you are, but what am I?"
61. Your NPC, astonished at his lame retort, waves his fist in the air and cries "Damn you, you half witted GM!"
62. ...and your players nod in agreement.

 

[Heathen72]

63. Instead of writing tomorrows session, you procrastinate by posting to this thread... (and then double post.)

 

[Jürgen Hubert]

64. Your parents propose a trip to a local beer garden at noon on the same day as your next gaming session - for which you haven't prepared yet.
65. You figure: "That trip should only take us 1.5 hours, maybe two - so I should still have enough time to prepare myself for the session." And then, at 8.30 AM on the same day, your mother tells you: "Oh, we will go there by bicycle - and we will have to leave in one hour"...

 

[Lorion]

66. Your players tell you about their WoW chars and their flashy new weapons... while playing the final scene of your really atmospheric Call of Cthulhu adventure!
67. The little brother of todays host enters the room and REALLY wants to play Yu-Gi-Oh.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

68. When your wife's PC dies during the session, she storms off shouting "I hope you weren't planning on getting some action the rest of the year!"

69. One of your players declares "if a party member steals from my character, it is the same as if you stole from me!" He later sends a three page e-mail to everyone ranting about it.

 

[Vigilance]

70. When roleplaying a conversation with an NPC psionicist one of your players refuses to interact verbally because "he can read my mind".
71. Continues to insist that his PLAYER should not have to speak because the psionicist "can read my mind" even after being reminded that the GAME MASTER is *not* psionic.
(both, unfortunately true)

 

[Kae'Yoss]

71. More than one player plays World of Warcraft.

 

[PapersAndPaychecks]

72. The party splits up...
73. ...into groups of 1...
74. ...and each one wishes to roleplay out his or her shopping experience in the town, haggling over every copper piece.
75. Every single player gets into a separate fight with the town guard.
76. Your hilarious idea (the one about the Queen having her Girdle of Fem/Masc stolen, and if she doesn't get it back within three days she'll turn back into a fat bloke called Nigel) falls totally flat and you have to explain it four times...
77. ... to each party member.

 

[Abstraction]

78. There is no number 78

 

[Janx]

79. Spending hours writing up the cool assassin that infiltrates the party, only to have your wife come in during thge game and ask, "has the assassin killed anybody yet?"
80. Drawing a decent battlemat on paper, only to have a a player spill their drink on it
81. Drawing a decent battlemat again on paper, only to have the same player spill somebody elses drink on it.
82. Forgetting about the skeletons in the other room that were waiting to rush in at the climatic moment, making the encounter a cakewalk.

Sadly, these are all true...