1000 things you can do when confronted with a Dragon
- Thread starter sithramir
- Start date
Sanackranib
First Post
dragons . . .
follow Slovtski's Law #2 - Run early, avoid the rush.
follow Slovtski's Law #2 - Run early, avoid the rush.
Angcuru
First Post
67. Challenge it to a battle of wits. "Here I have two goblets of wine and vial of Iocane powder. The powder is a fast-acting extremely potent poison; tasteless, colorless, odorless, and dissolves instantly in liquid. I have placed the poison in one of the goblets, and you get to choose which one you get to drink, and then we both drink. The winner lives, the loser dies. The prize? A shiny new potion of permanent invulnerablity I have recently procured and have written a map to it's location; the map will only become readable if I am dead. If you win, you get the map. If I win, I get your horde. Deal?" Forget to mention that you are immune Iocane powder, and that you have poisoned both goblets.
jgbrowning
Hero
70. Tell him he'll never go hungry if he just restrains himself to 1/2 a Troll at a single meal.
joe b.
joe b.
Delemental
First Post
71. Punch nearest companion in the shoulder; "Slug Dragon Red!"
72. Offer the dragon a hay bale-sized roll of halfling "pipeweed".
73. Pull out an artist's palette and canvas. "Okay, if you could just hold your chin up a tad higher..."
74. Explain confidently that you are no longer afraid of it, as 3.5 dragons have been "nerfed".
75. "Pardon me, but with the recent upgrade to 3.5, are you aware that the gross valuation of your horde may have altered? At the accounting firm of Redgar, Krusk, and Lidda, we specialize in edition-based asset management..."
76. "We were wondering if you would like to register your lair with the National Do Not Plunder list."
Edit: renumbered
72. Offer the dragon a hay bale-sized roll of halfling "pipeweed".
73. Pull out an artist's palette and canvas. "Okay, if you could just hold your chin up a tad higher..."
74. Explain confidently that you are no longer afraid of it, as 3.5 dragons have been "nerfed".
75. "Pardon me, but with the recent upgrade to 3.5, are you aware that the gross valuation of your horde may have altered? At the accounting firm of Redgar, Krusk, and Lidda, we specialize in edition-based asset management..."
76. "We were wondering if you would like to register your lair with the National Do Not Plunder list."
Edit: renumbered
Last edited:
The Forsaken One
Explorer
As a serious answer:
77. Mordenkainens Disjunction.
77. Mordenkainens Disjunction.
Creamsteak
Explorer
78. Rage.
79. Tell the Dragon that there are 1000 things you can do when confronted with a Dragon.
80. Ignore it, theres bigger problems about...
81. Eat it, afterall, your the bigger dragon.
79. Tell the Dragon that there are 1000 things you can do when confronted with a Dragon.
80. Ignore it, theres bigger problems about...
81. Eat it, afterall, your the bigger dragon.
RangerWickett
Legend
82. Pelt the DM with dice, preferably d12s, which hit the hardest (and spin the longest).
83. Hold up your portable hole in your left hand, and your bag of holding in your right, and say, "I've got Improved Initiative. Do you want to risk it?"
84. Don't fret, because your DM always follows the CR rules, and we know the CRs are balanced.
85. Ask it if it has trouble with crap sticking to its scales. (see the joke a post thread if you don't get this one)
86. Remind your DM that, since the 40 ft. x 40 ft. Dragon is in a 10 ft. x 10 ft. room, it must have starved long ago, and is thus not a threat.
87. Bluff it by saying you're just a black dragon that has been polymorphed into a dark elf with purple eyes.
83. Hold up your portable hole in your left hand, and your bag of holding in your right, and say, "I've got Improved Initiative. Do you want to risk it?"
84. Don't fret, because your DM always follows the CR rules, and we know the CRs are balanced.
85. Ask it if it has trouble with crap sticking to its scales. (see the joke a post thread if you don't get this one)
86. Remind your DM that, since the 40 ft. x 40 ft. Dragon is in a 10 ft. x 10 ft. room, it must have starved long ago, and is thus not a threat.
87. Bluff it by saying you're just a black dragon that has been polymorphed into a dark elf with purple eyes.
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