1000 ways to freak out your DM
- Thread starter maddman75
- Start date
my player did this to me...
dm- the door opens and a guy appears. "My minions didn't do well, so i'll get rid of you myself!
wizard-get rid of me? no way! I desintegrate him. Final. Oh! I have 18 in initiative.
DM-mm...You beat him...
Guess what? The bad guy failed all his rolls and got desintegrated in the midst a his speach. He was a 16th level wizard!
dm- the door opens and a guy appears. "My minions didn't do well, so i'll get rid of you myself!
wizard-get rid of me? no way! I desintegrate him. Final. Oh! I have 18 in initiative.
DM-mm...You beat him...
Guess what? The bad guy failed all his rolls and got desintegrated in the midst a his speach. He was a 16th level wizard!
27
While in an evil town, ask if you can go to one of the many evil shops to buy evil poison in bulk. After buying said evil poison, ask if there are any public fountains, or if there is a river nearby that the evil town uses.
28
While at the gaming table, sit on the floor if you are a halfling, gnome, or dwarf. If you're the sneaky type, use your DM's sock as a good place to pass him secret messages.
29
When the DM goes to the bathroom, have everyone switch seats and roleplay as the character who was owned by the person in that seat.
While in an evil town, ask if you can go to one of the many evil shops to buy evil poison in bulk. After buying said evil poison, ask if there are any public fountains, or if there is a river nearby that the evil town uses.
28
While at the gaming table, sit on the floor if you are a halfling, gnome, or dwarf. If you're the sneaky type, use your DM's sock as a good place to pass him secret messages.
29
When the DM goes to the bathroom, have everyone switch seats and roleplay as the character who was owned by the person in that seat.
WanderingMonster
First Post
30. Come up with a backstory that uses and builds upon the campaign world.
31. Talk with the other players and come up with a reason you are all adventuring together.
32. Give actual "thought" to your character's name.
33. When the DM says, "You failed your Will save, you are Dominated by the evil wizard. You're temporarily an NPC," reply with, "I'm willing to roleplay that, if you give me a shot."
34. Come up with a name and relationship with an unimportant NPC you might frequently see but never really has been given an identity by the DM (i.e. the barmaid, the gate guard).
35. Have a schtick, and never veer from it: "I always use the first sword I killed an orc with. Sure, it's not magical, but why argue with success?"
31. Talk with the other players and come up with a reason you are all adventuring together.
32. Give actual "thought" to your character's name.
33. When the DM says, "You failed your Will save, you are Dominated by the evil wizard. You're temporarily an NPC," reply with, "I'm willing to roleplay that, if you give me a shot."
34. Come up with a name and relationship with an unimportant NPC you might frequently see but never really has been given an identity by the DM (i.e. the barmaid, the gate guard).
35. Have a schtick, and never veer from it: "I always use the first sword I killed an orc with. Sure, it's not magical, but why argue with success?"
Moe Ronalds
First Post
36) Name your character Gallstaff, sorcerer of Light!
37) always insist that your character casted Mordekaiden's faithful watchdog
38) Interrupt him constantly asking for Mountain Dew
39) Split off from the party to stay at the tavern and get drunk.
37) always insist that your character casted Mordekaiden's faithful watchdog
38) Interrupt him constantly asking for Mountain Dew
39) Split off from the party to stay at the tavern and get drunk.
Larry Fitz
First Post
42
Be present and ready to play at the time you all said you would.
43
Have eaten before you arrive.
44
Remember what was going on at the end of the last game session
45
Know what all your spells and weapons and abilities do in normal circumstances.
46
Make Cellophane book covers for all your books
47
Keep a Mason jar of flat beer on the table in front of you and talk to it about what you should do next, i.e. "Specimen? Should I charge or ready an action to impale the Orcs with my spear if they charge us?"
48
Everytime you roll a die stand up and yell at the top of your voice "By all that is pure and satisfying!"
49
Bring a large stack of magazine subscription cards to the game and fill them out in the GM's name while playing. For extra credit ask him stuff like "How do you spell the name of the street you live on?"
50
Pretend to have laryngitis and bring a dry erase board to communicate with, also brign a bell to ring when you finish writing on the dry erase board to make people look at it.
51
Put a big ol bag of fried pork rinds down in the communal snack area.
52
Make Clam dip for the Potato Chips.
53
Before going over to where the game is held, order a pizza from every local pizza place that delivers, all with extra Anchovy. Be just late enough thatthe last of them should have been delivered before you get there.
54
Name your character after the GM's mom. Get all the other players to start calling you "mom".
55
Pre-roll 200 rolls of each die and write them up on a chart, cross off each in order as you go through the night instead of rolling dice, tell the Gm it's a "time saving technique".
56
Come to the game dressed as one of the other player's characters and respond whenever anyone mentions that character's name with "Who? Me or him?"
57
Put his e-mail address and home phone in a post on EnWorld.... Just kidding John....
Be present and ready to play at the time you all said you would.
43
Have eaten before you arrive.
44
Remember what was going on at the end of the last game session
45
Know what all your spells and weapons and abilities do in normal circumstances.
46
Make Cellophane book covers for all your books
47
Keep a Mason jar of flat beer on the table in front of you and talk to it about what you should do next, i.e. "Specimen? Should I charge or ready an action to impale the Orcs with my spear if they charge us?"
48
Everytime you roll a die stand up and yell at the top of your voice "By all that is pure and satisfying!"
49
Bring a large stack of magazine subscription cards to the game and fill them out in the GM's name while playing. For extra credit ask him stuff like "How do you spell the name of the street you live on?"
50
Pretend to have laryngitis and bring a dry erase board to communicate with, also brign a bell to ring when you finish writing on the dry erase board to make people look at it.
51
Put a big ol bag of fried pork rinds down in the communal snack area.
52
Make Clam dip for the Potato Chips.
53
Before going over to where the game is held, order a pizza from every local pizza place that delivers, all with extra Anchovy. Be just late enough thatthe last of them should have been delivered before you get there.
54
Name your character after the GM's mom. Get all the other players to start calling you "mom".
55
Pre-roll 200 rolls of each die and write them up on a chart, cross off each in order as you go through the night instead of rolling dice, tell the Gm it's a "time saving technique".
56
Come to the game dressed as one of the other player's characters and respond whenever anyone mentions that character's name with "Who? Me or him?"
57
Put his e-mail address and home phone in a post on EnWorld.... Just kidding John....
demiurge1138
Inventor of Super-Toast
These are more technically "Ways for players to turn their DM into a gibbering madman", but it's in the same vein.
Note: I am a DM, and my players have done almost all of these to me, so they are tested and guaranteed to be effective
58. Respond to cursed items by commiting suicide.
59. Hold funerals for destroyed weapons.
60. Charge other characters gold for using the Staff of Life on them.
61. As above, but loot the character's corpse instead.
62. Enquire about the prices of minor artifacts.
63. If you played Second Edition, and this is your first time playing 3rd, respond to every rule that's been changed with "That's broken!"
64. Correct the DM's pronunciation of place names, monster names and major NPC names. Bonus points if your corrections are wrong themselves.
65. If the DM is running a modified version of a published campaign setting, respond to every change he makes with "You're ruining the realms!"
66. Play a furry character in a campaign entirely unsuited for them.
67. Make your character a violent, despondent drunk.
68. Ask shopkeepers for items they would, under no circumstances, sell. For example, ask the naga shopkeeper in a naga village for magic boots.
69. Complain loudly about how you can't kill the BBEG when he is expositing.
70. Read a book at the gaming table.
71. Accuse the DM of favoritism. This is especially effective if you are dating the DM.
72. Flip through the Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting book while saying, "I could take him, I could take her, he's weak," etc.
73. As above, only use Deities and Demigods .
Note: I am a DM, and my players have done almost all of these to me, so they are tested and guaranteed to be effective
58. Respond to cursed items by commiting suicide.
59. Hold funerals for destroyed weapons.
60. Charge other characters gold for using the Staff of Life on them.
61. As above, but loot the character's corpse instead.
62. Enquire about the prices of minor artifacts.
63. If you played Second Edition, and this is your first time playing 3rd, respond to every rule that's been changed with "That's broken!"
64. Correct the DM's pronunciation of place names, monster names and major NPC names. Bonus points if your corrections are wrong themselves.
65. If the DM is running a modified version of a published campaign setting, respond to every change he makes with "You're ruining the realms!"
66. Play a furry character in a campaign entirely unsuited for them.
67. Make your character a violent, despondent drunk.
68. Ask shopkeepers for items they would, under no circumstances, sell. For example, ask the naga shopkeeper in a naga village for magic boots.
69. Complain loudly about how you can't kill the BBEG when he is expositing.
70. Read a book at the gaming table.
71. Accuse the DM of favoritism. This is especially effective if you are dating the DM.
72. Flip through the Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting book while saying, "I could take him, I could take her, he's weak," etc.
73. As above, only use Deities and Demigods .
Last edited:
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