1000 ways to freak out your DM

[Larry Fitz]

Dave O number 84, that was fantastic, I have to do that....

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

101. Refer to any new NPC as Bob.

102. Whenever you have to ask an NPC anything, tell the DM you're going to talk to Bob.

NB: This works extremely well on paladins, by the way. They tend to get very righteous if you get their name wrong.

"I am Sir Balin, Master of Brightcandle Keep, Slayer of Marathalax, Saviour of the Thousand Souls!"

"Oh, hey guys, look, it's Bob."

 

[Kaji]

103. Explain to your DM your character is obsessed with finding artifacts from Netheril and wants to use them as soon as possible. Start this discussion at the first gaming session.

104. Inform your DM that due to some helpful information your found on a ENWorld post, you'll no longer rolling dice at the table. You will instead be channeling the spirits of notorious mass murders and villians from history, and they will give you the numbers.

105. When you encounter the final bad guy, instead of handing him/her the whipa$$ they deserve, offer to join up with them and conquer the world together.

 

[Privateer]

106. Make badly veiled attempts to bribe your DM. With butter.

107. Make badly veiled attempts to seduce your DM. With butter.

108. Call him/her during the middle of the week and tell him what your character is doing.

109. Describe your character as a "hula dancing spellstitched vampiric hobgoblin cleric/bard/ranger using a brilliant energy, acidic spiked chain."

110. As 109, but write up a plausable character history.

111. As 109, but come in costume.

112. As 109, but get everyone else in the group to come in the same costume.

 

[Poltergeist]

113) In the spirit of role playing, if the DM reveals knowledge to you (the result of bardic knowledge, or a knowledge skill roll, or a divination spell) at the table in front of the rest of the players, repeat what he says to your fellow players word for word whenever he takes a breath.

114) Same set up as above, but state "I wanted that to be secret" as the punchline once the DM reveals all the information.

115) Keep a very, very detailed journal. Written in character. Point out moments when the DM errors in continuity with it.

116) Respond to every magic item received by another character as "that's unbalanced!" This is especially effective when the item is unbalanced.

117) State "you're meta game thinking!" whenever anyone at the table has a good idea.

 

[Privateer]

*KRAK-DOOM*

By the Power of Bump!

Or whatever he says.