1000 ways to freak out your DM
- Thread starter maddman75
- Start date
Drawmack
First Post
(NOTE: These are mostly either things my PCs have done to me or I've done to DMs)
77) Everytime the DM talks hold you hands up and say, "Incoming message from the big giant head."
78) Always refer to the DM as BGH, bonus points for doing it away from the table.
79) Kill the, "weakling trying to hire us" - in other words kill the guy trying to give you the adventure hook.
80) Get a scroll of lightening made, the use it against the adventure ending BBEG who is hiding behing fog and has only a 15% chance of being in the square you pick. The roll well enough to kill the NPC with that one single shot.
81) Use your cell phone to call absent party members and ask them question about what their character knows.
ninthcouncil
First Post
I wouldn't try it if I were you
The old law about shooting Welshmen only refers to one English town (Hereford? Chester?) near the Welsh border (incidentally, the place is called Wales, not Welsh), and only after the hours of darkness, if my memory serves me correctly. It's older than 17th century as well, I think.
And of course, would collapse the moment anyone tried to use it as a defence in a court of law.... There's lots of obselete laws knocking around that aren't worth the time to explicitly repeal, and wouldn't last a minute under legal challenge. Like Oliver Cromwell's ban on eating Christmas Pudding
Thorntangle
First Post
82 "The King? What's his AC?" *Rolls d20*
Moe Ronalds
First Post
83) As #50, but use charades instead of a dry erase board.
dave_o
Explorer
!
84. Whenever the DM describes a new room/monster/NPC, say 'I know.'
85. In a 9th level party, nearing 10th level, dress yourself and your mates up in black robes. Dim the lights, pull up hoods, and make use of candles. When the DM questions this, say 'We're about to reach 10th level, where the real fun begins!'
86. Should you ever, ever meet a balding Gnome, clad in red, with white hair, refer to him as Dungeonmaster. At each appearance, exclaim 'Dungeonmaster!'. Refuse to refer to him as anything else.
87. Whipser (poorly) things to your mates, while eyeing the DM< such as 'I think he's buying it', or, 'Poor bugger has no idea!'.
88. Have the party thief make food for the evening. Have each mate, in turn, who eats it, collapse several minutes after consuming it. Have said thief eye the DM wickedly once everyone else has fallen.
89. Paint a target on the wall, behind the DM's head.
90. Come to the table fully armed, either archaically, or in a more modern way.
84. Whenever the DM describes a new room/monster/NPC, say 'I know.'
85. In a 9th level party, nearing 10th level, dress yourself and your mates up in black robes. Dim the lights, pull up hoods, and make use of candles. When the DM questions this, say 'We're about to reach 10th level, where the real fun begins!'
86. Should you ever, ever meet a balding Gnome, clad in red, with white hair, refer to him as Dungeonmaster. At each appearance, exclaim 'Dungeonmaster!'. Refuse to refer to him as anything else.
87. Whipser (poorly) things to your mates, while eyeing the DM< such as 'I think he's buying it', or, 'Poor bugger has no idea!'.
88. Have the party thief make food for the evening. Have each mate, in turn, who eats it, collapse several minutes after consuming it. Have said thief eye the DM wickedly once everyone else has fallen.
89. Paint a target on the wall, behind the DM's head.
90. Come to the table fully armed, either archaically, or in a more modern way.
91. Ask the DM if you can play an octopus/rogue (8 arms and a +15 to hide!).
92. Ask the DM if you can play a black unicorn (MoF) polymorphed into a human/ sorceror.
93. Present the DM with your new character, a fiendish drow halfdragon lich/exmonk ranger blackguard.
94. Present the DM with your new character, a celestial aasimar halfelemental lycantrope/ paladin cleric.
95. Roleplay each of the animal followers/familiars/bonded mounts, voicing their thoughts. So when the paladin charges forward on his faithfull steed, yell out "STOP POKING ME". And when the sorceror sends out his hawk to scout ahead, remark "Ohh...a yummy squirrel.....Oohh....a yummy fieldmouse, ohh...a boring horde of orcs....Oohh...a tasty rabbit."
96. Convince the other players that ghost are not evil, and convince them to search one out to be friends with.
97. Instead of attacking the big badguy outright, challenge him to a game of strippoker. When he's standing there in his underwear, no armor, no weapon....then attack.
98. Ask every villain to elaborate on his "plan to conquer the world"
99. When charged with drawing the map of the dungeon, ask for every little detail and note it on your map. "yes, I know it's brick walls.....but what kind of brick. Is it mountain brick?"
92. Ask the DM if you can play a black unicorn (MoF) polymorphed into a human/ sorceror.
93. Present the DM with your new character, a fiendish drow halfdragon lich/exmonk ranger blackguard.
94. Present the DM with your new character, a celestial aasimar halfelemental lycantrope/ paladin cleric.
95. Roleplay each of the animal followers/familiars/bonded mounts, voicing their thoughts. So when the paladin charges forward on his faithfull steed, yell out "STOP POKING ME". And when the sorceror sends out his hawk to scout ahead, remark "Ohh...a yummy squirrel.....Oohh....a yummy fieldmouse, ohh...a boring horde of orcs....Oohh...a tasty rabbit."
96. Convince the other players that ghost are not evil, and convince them to search one out to be friends with.
97. Instead of attacking the big badguy outright, challenge him to a game of strippoker. When he's standing there in his underwear, no armor, no weapon....then attack.
98. Ask every villain to elaborate on his "plan to conquer the world"
99. When charged with drawing the map of the dungeon, ask for every little detail and note it on your map. "yes, I know it's brick walls.....but what kind of brick. Is it mountain brick?"
Dreaddisease
First Post
NUmber...yeah some number
After a near TPK have the one healthiest member temporarily go insane and kill everyone else in the party including the NPC(s). Then have that character abandon the whole point of the adventure to join a new adventuring group posing as a good ranger.
At every town, inquire about the history and geography of the surrounding areas and how the town is governed and what laws are enforced in the town. Ask how the commerce works in the town and the percentage of poor and unemployed there are. Inquire about the foods and diets of the townspeople as well as how the governing forces react to the neighboring town's governing forces.
Commit crimes there are no laws for.
Stop every bard you meet and ask for a song. Make sure you get a copy of the lyrics.
After a near TPK have the one healthiest member temporarily go insane and kill everyone else in the party including the NPC(s). Then have that character abandon the whole point of the adventure to join a new adventuring group posing as a good ranger.
At every town, inquire about the history and geography of the surrounding areas and how the town is governed and what laws are enforced in the town. Ask how the commerce works in the town and the percentage of poor and unemployed there are. Inquire about the foods and diets of the townspeople as well as how the governing forces react to the neighboring town's governing forces.
Commit crimes there are no laws for.
Stop every bard you meet and ask for a song. Make sure you get a copy of the lyrics.
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