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1001 Villain Sayings/Threats


First Post
Hey all,

I have been running a successful campaign for awhile now, yet I have noticed that I just cannot come up with really interesting things for the villains to say on the fly besides the usual death threats. I figured others might have a problem with this sort of thing so I decided to post. Those that are good at this sort of thing please feel free to share any quotes from your campaigns that would add flavor to a campaign.

I understand that some things a main villain would say depend on what has happened in a campaign, but others might not be so specific. Obviously I am looking for ones that are not so specific. For example, what would a group of orcs meeting an adventuring party of dwarves say.


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First Post
A personal favorite from a campaign that I played in(it's to a group of captured adventurers):
"Why do you believe I'm evil? Because you were taught that my way of thinking is evil. Why were you taught that?-"
To which I interrupted(in song), "Because it sounds better than the truth! It sounds! better, and it tastes! better, so we'll all pretend it really happened. There were no! kobold or elf paladins, just a bunch of humans wielding swords!"

The villain then ritually mutilated my body.:(

Savage Wombat

The villain line that I used that got the most energetic player response was quite simple:

"Hi, little girl; would you like some candy?"

Lord Zardoz

First Post
Villian Quotes

1) "I will teach you the meaning of the words 'please, please for the love of god, GIVE ME BACK THE TOP OF MY SKULL'"

2) "You die first."

3) "When you find yourself dazed and confused, standing before your god in whatever afterlife awaits you, perhaps you should ask him why he let me kill you."

4) "I swear that if you bleed on my shoes, I will Kill You. Again."

5) "Hey, Elf! You sure have a pretty face. How about I hit it with an axe?"

6) "Lets see you pray to your god when I wipe my a$$ with your face."

7) "My excrement is more powerful then you."

8) "Im not going to kill you quite yet. I like my food to scream."

9) "Wanna see me bite the face off of this baby?"

10) "There is a toll on this road. You can pay it in gold, or you can pay it in blood. Either is good for me."


Mark Chance

Boingy! Boingy!

11) The last sound you hear before you die is going to be me cracking your guts like a bullwhip!

12) Ever try to pick up your teeth with broken fingers?

Mark Chance

Boingy! Boingy!
Even More...

Forgot two classic stand-bys:

14) You sure gotta purdy mouth.

15) I'm gonna make you squeal like Ned Beatty.

16) Your pathetic, you sound like a chapter from a selfhelp book
17)NO, DESTROY, DESTROY, DESTROY, I will make a monument to non-existance

Bonus feat: obscure knowledge if you can name where those two came from



Just consult some Type O Negative lyrics, example:

18 - "I've got a big axe in the trunk of my car, I put it on a grinder, got it real sharp. There's an ugly green monster in my head, won't leave me alone - until you're dead!"

19 - "Your screaming? My laughter."

20 - "I'm an equal opportunity destroyer."


Azure Trance

First Post
Usually ones that catch my attention are ones from movie (ie, wow, that'd sound really nice if a villian in my campaign said that ...)

  • Life is just a dream on the way to death.
  • Pain is my power.

And a Q/A one that works only if the PC asks it:

Q: Go to hell!
A: Been there. And I must tell you, I did enjoy it.

Azure Trance

First Post

  • Ya know, my daddy used to say every man's got a devil. And you can't rest 'til you find him... but if it's any consolation to you, you have put a smile on my face.
  • You're all dead. You just don't know it yet.
  • Murderer? Murderer!? Let me tell you a little something about murder. It's fun, it's easy, and you gonna learn all about it.
    pulls out two blades
    I'd like you to meet two buddies of mine. We never miss.
Last edited:

Mean Eyed Cat

Posted by Mark Chance
Forgot two classic stand-bys:

14) You sure gotta purdy mouth.

15) I'm gonna make you squeal like Ned Beatty.

Promptly followed by the dueling banjos...

Nah-nah-nernt nernt nernt-nernt nernt-nernt neerrrr

Psychotic Jim

First Post
Re: Even More...

Mark Chance said:
Forgot two classic stand-bys:

14) You sure gotta purdy mouth.

Dang it! Someone beat me to it!

Oh well...

For the orcs (better if they were ogres) seeing dwarves (or other small folk):

"Looks like we get to play another game of Runtball! "

The Overly-Long Monologue for the Villain who Thinks He is Doing Good but is Actually Doing Evil:

"Why do you intend to stand in my way? You have all seen the corruption present in the world today. I intend to change that, to purify all the lands. I have seen the future, where Fate wipes out (or enslaves, etc.) all of man-kind. I intend to prove that man can change his destiny. Do not stand in my way for the sake of all of humanity. "

For the Revenge-Crazed Vigilante:

" I shall not be denied my revenge!"

"Stay out of this! I have no quarre with you! This is a private affair!"

For the coward, the classic catch-phrase:

"Hey who fights and runs away lives to backstab anothery day."

For the totally incomprehisible loony:

"Hey now, brown cow..."


Inventor of Super-Toast
Here are few I've used...
"Pain is my ally."
"You fight without honor or skill."
"I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate you!"
"I will make you bleed."
"Your flesh is mine to mold and sculpt."
"Give praise to <fill in evil deity>."
"These are the last words you will ever hear."
"I crave sustenance."
"Allow me to make myself clear."
"And so, we meet again." (Even better if the party's never seen him before.)
"Ah, the meat shields have arrived!"
And of course, a good evil laugh is key.

Demiurge out.

Mean Eyed Cat

These are from various movies...

"Life is pain... anyone who says differently is selling something."

"People scare easier when they're dyin'."

"I'll be thinking about that when I'm p*****g on your grave."


The EN World kitten
Some that came from (iirc) Van Richten's Guide to Werebeasts (I don't remember them exactly, so forgive me if I bucher these):

"If our nature is evil, if our instincts murderous, can we truly be blamed?"

"We are not monsters. It is our nature to be predators. It is only because we hunt you humans, you self-styled kings of all that live, that you term us monsters."

and from Van Richten's Guide to Vampires:

"If I were to kill you, what would you lose? Twenty years of your life, maybe thirty? Thirty years! I could spend thirty years contemplating a book or a piece of artwork! If I were to die, I would lose eternity! Now do you understand why your lives mean virtually nothing...and mine means everything."

A bit long-winded (and very Anne Rice in flavor) but I still love it.

Another: "I was right then, and I am right now!" - Azalin

The official Ravenloft site ( www.kargatane.com ) opens each time with a different quote from characters who are mostly villains.

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