101 bits of gnome fluff

[InVinoVeritas]

25. One of the oldest gnome cultures comes from a group of nomadic tribes that pursued each other over a series of islands. They never developed a concept of land as property, and continually trade locations, usually moving away from each other and advancing at the same time. This has resulted in some very original transportation technologies, and have been credited with the first airships and ornithopters.

 

[Aeric]

26. Gnomes cannot have proportions similar to humans. If they did, their hands would be so small as to be incapable of grasping any weapon larger than a pencil, and their encumberance limit would be miniscule. The same goes for halflings. Both races are built like human midgets. If you don't want to play a midget, don't play a gnome or halfling.

This message was brought to you by the "Not Every Race Has To Be Pretty" Foundation, which is still wondering why dwarves missed the cut. If anything, dwarves got even uglier in 3.X.

 

[Arkhandus]

Whizbang just wins.

borc_killer loses. :\

27. Gnomes never really go away, no matter how hard the kobolds, or giants, or grumpy humans try. Gnomes just retreat deep underground every once in a while, for a secret gathering where they celebrate their gnomishness and all the great things that they have. This secret party goes on longer than any known to the lesser races, and the gnomes consume more alcohol than dwarves, sing more baudy songs than orcs, rock harder than elves, and just generally have more fun in this grand party than any other humanoid has in their entire lifetime. This is a source of many a sudden, uncontrollable snicker by gnomes when lesser races talk about their own parties.

 

[Drowbane]

28. the world of Athas (Dark Sun) had the best Gnomes in any D&D product/setting to date.

29. if not included in the 4e PHB, Gnomes will get the last laugh by having a racial splat book all to themselves (actually, I think they will just be reintroduced in the shiny new FRCS... as the Realms is completely infested by Gnomes).

 

[Robert Ranting]

30. Gnomes genuinely believe that they are superior to halflings in every way. In fact, gnomes believe that their small brethren are called "halflings" because they're only half as good as Gnomes.

31. The real reason Gnomes invent such crazy devices and mechanisms is that they secretly discovered gunpowder, chemical warfare, and nuclear weapons ages ago, and realizing the disasterous effects this would have on the nature of warfare and society, decided to propogate the illusion to the other races that technology is silly, unreliable, and not worth pursuing.

***

23. Gnomes are best portrayed by Malcolm McDowell.

...if you mean by immitating Malcolm McDowell's voice and cranky mannerisms, then I played that character for 2 1/2 years, and thus completely agree with you.

Robert "Of course it's painless, the screaming is just a reflex!" Ranting.

 

[InVinoVeritas]

...if you mean by immitating Malcolm McDowell's voice and cranky mannerisms, then I played that character for 2 1/2 years, and thus completely agree with you.

Robert "Of course it's painless, the screaming is just a reflex!" Ranting.

But of course. "Oh dear, now you can't have any of my pot pie." He even looks like a gnome.

32. Gnome females are best represented by Christina Ricci.

 

[Blackrat]

33. Gnomes don't grow beards. That would look silly. Dwarves are a proof of this. Instead they grow impressive moustaches. The so called "walrus-moustache" was invented by the gnomes and "banker-moustache" is also very popular, as is this style, made popular by the famous gnomish detective.

34. Gnomes speak with either british or irish accent. (Except for the afore-mentioned detective )

 

[Dioltach]

35. The most famous Gnomish hero, Wat Silversong, once played a legendary practical joke on Gruumsh and Corellon Larethian, involving two carnival masks and an Otto's Irresistable Dance spell. The mere mention of this great prankster's name has been known to drive both elves and orcs to a frenzy.

 

[Blackrat]

35. The most famous Gnomish hero, Wat Silversong, once played a legendary practical joke on Gruumsh and Corellon Larethian, involving two carnival masks and an Otto's Irresistable Dance spell. The mere mention of this great prankster's name has been known to drive both elves and orcs to a frenzy.

Wasn't the unfortune event regarding a certain Eye related to this joke?

 

[Presto2112]

34. Gnomes speak with either british or irish accent. (Except for the afore-mentioned detective )

Funny, I always thought of gnomes speaking common in more of a French accent.