101 Fantasy Government Secrets

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14. That the gold was stolen.

http://www.principiainfecta.com/archives/2005/02/petitioning_the.php

I am quite aware of the urgency with which you approach your charge, you have made that more than clear. I sympathise; any similar theft from my estate or interests would be dealt with quite harshly, I assure you. Simply put, however, you have no standing - this is not Three Stones and I am neither a Verden nor a Talmur to be pulled hither and thither by the whims of priests. You would do well to remember that.

Wander as you will; neither I nor my fellow Councillors have any intention of throwing good coin away by putting spearmen at your disposal. Do you think we empty our coffers for each new Visitor and petitioner to arrive in Port? Let your Temple protect its own interests with its own purse - you will find spearmen and strong hands in good number at the Guild Bridge or Seafarers' Guildhall on the cliffs. I very much doubt your thief is in Port, however; it sounds as though your fellow priests should be searching closer to home, quite frankly. Turn the City Without upside-down and I'm sure you'll find your statuette or figurine or whatever it was.

No, no, this petition is at an end. Not another word! Magister, the doors if you would be so kind?

My, my, my. I wonder just how much gold is in this latest Face of Burning Truth so carelessly lost by the good priests of Three Stones? It would be a terrible shame were it to be melted down for coin before being recognized, wouldn't it now? Still, it would have to be found first; while priests from Three Stones may carry the certainty of the Powers, I am far from sure. Anything a thief would care to steal can be found by the Unending Sea - why travel to Three Stones and risk a quick death from Watch blades? If one or two of my retainers became motivated to join this fishers' boat, they would be looking for someone other than a dockside rat ... assuming that the trinket itself isn't simply Lost to the Farthest.

http://www.principiainfecta.com/archives/2005/03/a_war_of_guilds.php

A priest from Three Stones shown the door by Lady Dalun, eh? I'm surprised the oh-so-honored Magisters and lowly clerks deigned to grant you an audience at all. The noble Councilors don't like your Temple, and the Trade Guild likes your gate taxes and lead coins even less, I'll wager. You've spent good coin on spearmen though, and that's a wiser act than petitioning the Council - a covy of spined eels behind you counts for more than a Lord's word on the low dockside.

No, the Council isn't like your netted glowfish in Three Stones; you'd need a dozen Watch blades at your side to impress them at all. Look at it this way: Lord Onn and the Seafarers' Guildmaster, they're upright enough, but think they have the deed to all the dockside, signed and sealed. Cerel and Saan - the Master Trader and one who might as well be - can't stand the sight of each other, but hate the thought of a single coin going to the nobles even more. Lady Dalun, she's a harsh one; cross her and she'll pay you in kind, aye, whether you're Gray Folk or King of all the Ammand. The other Guildmasters, the high priest of the Temple of Three, old Lord Lundarn, they don't matter so much - but they all look after their own first and foremost ... when they're not too busy sticking the knife in or squirming to be top eel in the barrel. Without a Council, there'd be spearmen in the streets - and not just lazy militia, mark my words. It was bad enough afore The Locked Heart took the Coin Press for her own, or when the Red Iron eels pointed spears at the traders. Better to let the high born and Guilds spit and fight behind closed doors.

It's fortunate for you that we met; there aren't many at the Guild Bridge who'll stay honest after stolen gold is mentioned. Give coin to any of those young eelsuckers and you'll be left on the cobbles by tonight ... or worse. I'm a forthright one - you'll not find better. I'll guide you and your hired spears true, low streets or high, so long as you have the coin to pay.

Reason
Principia Infecta
 

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12. The ongoing war against the human barbarians on the border of the kingdom is entirely unecesary. The barbarians are a peacefule people, and have only taken up arms in defense of their homeland. However, the king continues the war as a tool to maintian political unity and most of the commoners suspect nothing.

13. The kingdom is secretly raising an undead army. While the purpose of this force is benevolent (defense from invasion, monsters, ect.) the corruption caused by raising undead is warping the minds of top aristocrats and generals.

14. The terrasque has been sleeping not far outside of the city for centuries. The king knows of this, but keeps it secret, fearing the loss of prestiege that would come with his inability to do anything about the monster.

Meanwhile, the creature begins to stir in its sleep.

15. The king has been sytematically killing of third-born children who are born under the full
moon, in an attempt to advert a propecy relating to them. He uses assasains who in turn use a poison that mimics natural diseases, and as such, parents do not realize their child has been murdered.

16. The benevolent king is a werewolf. He is aware of this, and takes strong percautions to avoid harming anyone (he locks himself in his own dungeon on nights of the full moon, among other actions) but is aware that, should the truth leak out, it would be the end of his reign.
 

Melencov said:
The benevolent king is a werewolf.
"We've been aware there's some very serious vampire activity in this town for some time. As a matter of fact, we're almost certain ghouls and werewolves occupy high positions at city hall."
 

Man, people have GOT to stop posting so closely together. It's totally screwing with the numbering. :) How many people have had to go back to edit their posts for the correct numbers?
 

17. The chandelier mounted in the great dining hall happens to have a portal to another dimension inside it's center hoop. Occasionally, the king travels throuh this portal in order to obtain knowledge and technology from the advanced citizens of that world.

18. The Castle is only half-real. The rear walls, which are surrounded by a moat and patrolled regularly by well-armed soldiers, are illusionary, and the illusion loops every 2 days, 37 minutes. There is no way to access those walls from inside the small keep that makes up the real castle.
 

19. The Queen has been using an herbal mixture to prevent her becoming pregnant with the King's heir, because her sorceress grandmother told her that a child by his loins will doom the kingdom. However, she is afraid of being put aside for a woman able to fulfill her duty. She has hired several assassins to make sure that the King never lays with another woman.

20. The young commander of the guard is actually the King's bastard.

21. The King's Own Wizard is wanting to take an apprentice to pass down his knowledge before he dies. However, he knows too many secrets to be allowed to do this for fear he will give up those secrets to an impressionable youth. He has secretly been training a servant boy for several years now.

22. The Prince likes to sneak out every few nights and use a Hat of Disquise to visit the lowborn red-light district. He's been found out and a group of whores are blackmailing him to keep them quiet.

23. The Princess likes masquerading as a common cat burglar. She's even joined the Thieve's Guild!

24. The noble in charge of the Royal Mint has been skimming gold from the Mint for years, hiding it away in tunnels under his house.

25. The Prince killed the Prince of a rival country years ago in a 'hunting accident' and kept a souvenir - his ring of office. If it were found in the Prince's possession it would mean war.
 

26. The clerics of the state church have spells that can heal even the gravest disease, regenerate limbs, and even bring the dead back to life!

If this news got out, chaos would undoubtedly erupt among the populace...
 

27. The Council of elders and king are fake. The entire kingdom is actually run by wheezy, an old dog of indeterminable breed who happens to be the reincarnation of a highly powerful Archmage, who is cursed to remain a small, ugly dog.
 

27. The heir to the throne has been replaced by a raksasha, who has bought, charmed or murdered anyone who knows his secret.

28. The ever-escalating monster attacks on the capital city are in fact rescue missions sent to recover the celestial kept locked beneath the keep in order to bring the city prosperity.

29. The lord mayor is in the pocket of the Thieves' Guild.

Demiurge out.
 


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